Ashamed of being eurasian?

[koreanhalfie]

Some eurasians see their identity under a positive light but for others it still is a challenge to be proud for what they are. The sense of belonging to the Eurasian or White/Asian groups has already been lenghtily covered. Would you rather be associated with one side or the other rather than with eurasians?

I'm looking for honest replies, thank you for your input.

[Starburst]

No, I just interpret it differently. Someone can say that Asians are slightly darker than Spanish with a culture that prizes being smart and fair above all else, in some privacy in maybe shame of who they are, all Asian with freedom around to be who they want. If you are part Asian, you have to count even 1% Native American indian, and that's the part that throws me off, that I'm not just Eurasian. The building that held the records on being indian was burned. They've lied before to me. The grandpa even said he was part indian. So I am glad I have the indian to counter the Asian though. So in a sense I am proud. Most Americans seem to have Native American and Irish. There are more Italians and Spanish than most would think. I already am just associated with white because that's what Asians pride in the white race, being white moreso than European. It's more like an opportunity and stepping stone. Also a Jew told me I was full blooded Jew on my Jew side, so that's something different as well.

[ChineseGhost]

For years now, when I'm asked what are my origines, I say "Eurasian".

If I get a blank stare, i'll specify.

Having grown up & worked in Hong Kong, I was labled White.
Here in France for the last 10 years, i'm seen as Asian.

So I'm Eurasian.

[adramelech]

I really don't know what to think of it. I will admit I struggle with it but I think that's because I might have a whole bunch of unaddressed personality disorders thrown into the mix, that distort my sense of who I am and my place in the world.

I don't know how I'd identify myself. I don't even feel Eurasian.

[danny567]

what does Eurasian feel like?

[dutchinese]

im aussie and people either think im native american or latino, coz latinos are halfies yeh? native american(they come from asia) and the spanish from europe cross

[toyomansi]

I don't know why, but this last period spent with my family I subconsciously started dreaming about what if both of my parents looked similar to me (in real life they don't look like me) and we all had one proud Asian culture, traditions, values and knowledge about our ancestors? (I know my thinking is probably not as open-minded as an EA should be) I think I would be a lot less confused about my identity, where I came from and where I belong in this world.

When going into the world by myself, most people don't know that I'm mixed, but if I walk around together with both my parents, people will see a prime example of Asian woman + White man = Mixed kid, and while I don't mind seeing others like that, I myself don't want to be seen that way now. Now I subconsciously almost hope that people think I'm just a friend of my parents (But my conscious mind tries to tell me that there is nothing to be ashamed of). Of course I love my parents, but the person I am at home with them is different from the person I am when meeting the world.

It seems like I can only fit in with Asian communities whenever my parents/relatives are not around to always remind me "You're not one of them, you're only a halfbreed!". I don't mind telling people the two different backgrounds of my mother and father, but I can't stand anyone referring to me as halfbreed, half child, mix etc. I just prefer being seen as a person of two different cultures/countries, but without being seen as physically a mongrel.

[eanjetboy]

when i was growing up in singapore, i was ashamed of it.. the racism there was terrible (1/4 chinese, german, portugese mix) Never fitted in amongst the chinese kids which was the school I was going to..

My father is half chinese and he had it even more so growing up so amidst the 100's of families that left in the early 80's. We moved to australia.. Its accepted alot more over here, i am happy to call australia home rather then singapore.

So ashamed in singapore being eurasian, YES. In australia, NO. and now that i have met a eurasian girl, it seems we have quite alot in common in growing up of not fitting in society.

[hypeforlife91]

Now that I got a job, I find that even more people ask me what I am. I get a race question at least once a week, sometimes more. It's always been a topic of interest growing up, but now that I'm exposed to more and more people, it has become even more common.

I don't feel ashamed even though I've been through racism myself. Though I have to admit that some things do come as a surprise to me and makes me think...how can people be so ignorant? Lol. Like recently, I was talking to some people I just met not long ago about how I have better writing skills than speaking skills. Someone assumed and said to my face..."You speak very well though, considering English isn't your first language." I'm like..."Uh....no?" In my head I was really thinking "wtf"? He obviously thinks I look more Asian. Then another guy chimed in and started talking about people he met "back East." Then another girl asked me...."Wait...are you Asian?" So you see the confusion there. I just get mighty confused about these generalizations from people, for example, that assume that an Asian-looking person can't speak English well or that it isn't their primary language.

Also, when people tell me I do not look my age and that I look "so young". I always assume that they are thinking that it is because I'm Asian or will lead to them talking about me being/looking Asian. Which isn't a bad thing, although I do wish I could look more grown up. But I know in the future when I finally age...I would wish the opposite.

I get black/ white guys that hit on me a lot and I can't help but think that it is because I look more Asian/ ethnic/ exotic than white. It's like they aren't afraid to keep on flattering me to the point of discomfort because they think I'm submissive or something. I get guys who give me the strangest comments at work...like a guy thought I was 16 and when I told him I'm not and that I'm older...he's like "whoaaaaa really!?!?! So you're a grown woman huh?" *In this perverted voice.* BOY, that made me feel like a prostitute. He was hitting on me then he said he'll introduce me to his son. I told him I have a boyfriend and he told me to dump him! Horrible; he just wouldn't stop; I only put up with it since I was at work and I tried to act professional. That was one of the times when I wonder...if I looked more/ predominantly white...maybe guys won't be as BOLD in their actions?

[joanna]

I have such a tough time answering these questions. I start to over analyse, then I start to go into a tirade of past memories, followed by a pity party, then self consciousness.

I think it's best I just answer yes and no.

well I guess leaning more towards a yes.

[eanjetboy]

In another instance,

i was at a chinese wedding.. i was the only olive skinned light eyed person in the room... the grooms father thinking i could not understand him was speaking in mandarin discussing how racial bloodlines should not be mixed etc...most of the table agreed... i would laugh and look stupid pretending i did not understand what they were saying when they were laughing about me...

After 2 hrs of sitting and listening to his dribble, and with respect to my friend who was the groom..

I then proceeded to call him and the rest of the group a bunch of inbreeds considering his son had to marry a girl from the same village as where he came from as a child.. saying this in mandarin fluently left the whole table quiet and most of the room as i walked out, never to see what i thought was a friend again. I was not ashamed of being eurasian in this case, i was actually proud.. but that had to be one of the worse social outings in my life..

might explain why i dont have many chinese friends any more.

[joanna]

Thanks for sharing eanjetboy. Wish i was there to witness that but I never learned Chinese. For me, hostility and humiliation by others wasn't hugely unexpected. Because for me, the hostility and humiliation came first from within my own family.

[eanjetboy]

Joanna,

it isnt easy, being eurasian, especially when you are different from the "others"

The girl i just met whom we have started sating is 1/4 chinese as well with Blue / green eyes...

we both have grown up with the same social phobia's.. completely different lives and different countries... we are so alike in so many ways its creepy.. we can only pin it down to both being considered "different" as we were growing up going through life.

It is something to be proud of.. just takes time and age i think... and learning not to care what anyone thinks about you etc...

[taiping]

When I lived in Belgium before I went to China, the my friends always questioned my ethnicity. At the time I was not familiar with the term Eurasian, or even mixed-race for that matter; all I knew was that I was the son of a European father and a Chinese mother (I was indeed very ignorant of my racial heritage at that time). People at my school would always say that I looked Russian, sometimes offensively calling me a communist.... At that time I was truly ashamed of being Eurasian, and I had wished that I could become"white" and be accepted.

However this completely and utterly changed after I moved to Beijing. There I befriended several Eurasians who had the same or even worse problems than me (some of them were abandoned by their Caucasian fathers). The Caucasians at my school were all very sympathetic to the amount of suffering I had in Europe, and accepted me as a fellow "white" nonetheless due to my European upbringing. I met a truly wonderful Eurasian girl who enlightened my view of life, and made me forget about all the suffering I had gone through....

Thus in conclusion I am very proud of being Eurasian. However my Eurasian girlfriend always said that she never dated me because of the fact that I was Eurasian like her; she dated me because because of my personality and morals. Thus I think you would all agree with me that although it is absolutely great to be Eurasian, it is what you do with your life that counts.