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Post by jefe on Nov 18, 2018 22:29:25 GMT -5
Hello Rob,
I rarely check back here, but great to log in by chance and see your post. Let's catch up!
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Post by jefe on Feb 3, 2016 6:35:47 GMT -5
I believe a large number of WMAF relationships are very problematic if not outright racist and sexist. Many are, yes. All the more reason to unplug from that. No way. What studies are you cherry-picking from? Have you seen Daniel Henney? Son of a white Dad, and a Korean adoptee mother and born and raised in Michigan, all 4 of his grandparents are white. Yet he looks Asian enough to play Asian roles, even in Korea, yet still handsome enough to attract white female swooners. Please try to learn more about people like him.
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Post by jefe on Feb 3, 2016 5:34:23 GMT -5
In my opinion Eurasian identity is one founded on ethnicity and migration rather than region and therefore to find its natural home one needs to go back to where it originates - Ancient Greece and China. I think it is heavily influenced by the society one grows up in. But a large part, if not the major part is the education the child receives. If it is western education, that is what the child will learn. But racial identity is not equivalent to cultural identity.
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Post by jefe on May 10, 2015 3:11:46 GMT -5
Great to see the updates from you guys.
Anyone still in touch with Maow?
I am doing scuba diving instructing in HK and occasional factory CSR audits around Asia.
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Post by jefe on May 10, 2015 3:07:59 GMT -5
Raine, I think that eanhapa's issues are exacerbated by all the negative Asian male bashing in US society by both Asian females and White males, and the uncomfortable feeling of being born into such a relationship, yet be the target of such bashing at the same time. I think both Asian women and white men completely skirt over this issue and end up contradicting themselves by trying to comfort their son by telling them they are blessed by their bicultural heritage and that they feel proud of him or whatever. They probably do not even realize that they come off as being hypocritical. Eanhapa, you have to stop spending all your time absorbing and internalizing all that negative rhetoric. Turn it around into something proactive and positive, that will help you and help others. Have you heard of Kip Fulbeck and Eric Byler? They are men with Asian mothers and white fathers and have turned their experience into something they can share with the greater community.
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Post by jefe on May 10, 2015 0:57:02 GMT -5
Hey Groink, nice to see you still active occasionally here. I hardly check this forum anymore, but it is nice to hear from old names/faces.
eanhapa, do you mind my asking where you are based?
Personally, I have an Asian father, white mother. They divorced when I was in my 20s. The racial dynamics are certainly very different from the reverse, with its own sets of issues. But I left the USA 20 years ago and have lived in Asia ever since. I agree that racism in the USA is definitely toxic, but Asia has its own issues. Living as a Eurasian in an all-Asian society is not exactly 100% utopia either.
If anything, the perpetual foreigner treatment seems to be everywhere.
We used to have meetups in Hong Kong, and a lot of the guys who came were ones with Asian mothers / white fathers, but who grew up in the USA. It might be good to hang around guys who have a much more upbeat attitude toward their plight.
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Post by jefe on May 10, 2015 0:43:11 GMT -5
Hey (Putts), long time no see.
We have to see how we can resurrect the idea of this discussion board.
BTW, Putts, I am not sure that it is that helpful to others to simply say that you know a lot of EAN/Hapa men who are well adjusted. Hearing that from other people did nothing to help me with my problems. But I agree that it is better not to hang around places which will only spew out negativity without simultaneously strive to formulate positive solutions.
Anyhow, I think that EAN/Hapa sons of Asian women and white men where both parents repeatedly bash Asian men can find it quite troubling, esp. if he gets treated as an Asian male by the general public, at least some of the time. The society at large is already bashing Asian males to the max; it is worse when you come home to a household that does the same thing.
One way to attack the issue is to commiserate with other similarly situated men. Given the explosive growth in AW/WM families, you are certainly not alone. Unfortunately, this forum is so dead now, that this might not work so well, but there are other ones. Also, in some ways, that might be spreading more negativity around and if not carefully monitored, is not good.
Another way might involve seeking mental health professionals, but only those with specific experience in dealing with mixed race individuals. Maybe you can check out the website of Dr. Maria P.P. Root (http://www.drmariaroot.com/). She can probably refer you to resources in your geographical area. Sons of Asian mothers and white fathers both of whom bash Asian males would be a specific subgroup of these people with their own mental health issues.
Finally, I could say that eanhapa guy has taken a very important first step, ie, recognizing that there is an issue with his parents and has made a decision not to let this cause him to fall into a self-feeding trap of internalized racism. Another is to not take your parents' racist views personally. See them for what they are -- their views.
So, another way to deal with it is to turn it around into something positive. I am not sure what field you are studying or working in, but go out and teach people about this problem. Along the way, you will discover ways of helping other guys in this situation.
Have you heard of film director Eric Byler? He lives in Northern Virginia and has a Chinese-American mother and white father and has done many films examining the Asian American and Hapa experience. He obviously went to seek an avenue to explore and deal with these issues. Actually, I have met his mother, who is a good friend of my Aunt and I think I will see if I can meet him next time I am in the DC area.
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Post by jefe on Oct 15, 2014 2:34:02 GMT -5
I think he <b>Definitely</b> had EA issues.
He stabbed, STABBED, 3 young men to death, all of Chinese descent / origin.
He went on shooting spree at a sorority full of white women, esp. blonde white women.
He envied and worshipped white men; he hated everyone else - even his English-Moroccan brother. He didn't seem to hate his sister so much.
I think his parents needed to have the "race talk" with him, but as monoracially identified parents of EAs often are, they were clueless about what was going on in his head.
Yeah, I thought he could have used a more mature Eurasian male go through those issues with him. Of course, even if some of us go through some similar issues, we didn't resort to violence and suicide to resolve them.
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Post by jefe on Nov 5, 2013 2:36:35 GMT -5
Serge, I don't think that is the answer to his question. He is not asking why some EAN may look more Asian, or more white. I think he is asking why some people may think that the very same EAN looks white to some people, Asian to others, and mixed to even others.
EANRABBIT, if you travelled around a bit, you might even find more combinations. I got that white sometimes, Asian sometimes, mixed other times, and people say I change from day to day and throughout my life. If you were in the USA, there may be some who think you are Latino or Native American too. In China, some might think Uighur, or other Central Asian. In Hawaii, some might just think you are some ethnically ambiguous local and classify you as Haole or non-Haole depending on how you think or act. Or if you speak with a British accent, then as some NON-local who is, well, simply British.
So I think people see different things, pick up on different cues, etc. etc. based on their own personal background, how YOU act (eg, if you switch from a European to an Asian language) and maybe just how they feel that day. What is more important is that you take a stand on your own identity. You can define it for yourself, and not have to simply let people define it for you. Read Maria Root's "Bill of Rights for Mixed Race People".
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Post by jefe on Nov 5, 2013 2:25:31 GMT -5
I guess men could find sugar daddies too. I should have thought of that when I could not stay an extra semester to complete my 2nd degree due to insufficient funds.
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Post by jefe on Nov 5, 2013 2:22:38 GMT -5
Wow, it's been over 10 years now. cool
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Post by jefe on Jul 22, 2013 23:21:47 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing.
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Post by jefe on Jul 22, 2013 22:07:30 GMT -5
^ Yes, I do notice it too. There is definitely a different mindset there.
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Post by jefe on Jul 22, 2013 21:55:33 GMT -5
^ Like
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Post by jefe on Jul 22, 2013 21:53:55 GMT -5
Hey, checking in again. How is everyone!
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