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Post by Groink on Mar 22, 2009 19:03:36 GMT -5
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!"  |
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Post by jefe on Mar 24, 2009 12:44:41 GMT -5
Maybe your upbringing in a white neighborhood gives you this condescending attitude towards Native Americans, further strengthening my argument. Sorry, I was raised in mainly a mixed black / white environment and I have absolutely NO condescending attitude towards native americans. (And also, my statement was not referring to native americans exactly, but to the prior practice by whites of removing Native Americans or Australian Aborigines from their communities and raising them in a white family in a white community in order to erase their cultural heritage). You have obviously completely misunderstood the point. I now live in a neighborhood with 1-2% whites. But my parents' old neighborhoods (at the time of their deaths) was already less than 20% white. |
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cm
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Post by cm on Mar 25, 2009 20:38:18 GMT -5
Maybe your upbringing in a white neighborhood gives you this condescending attitude towards Native Americans, further strengthening my argument. Sorry, I was raised in mainly a mixed black / white environment and I have absolutely NO condescending attitude towards native americans. (And also, my statement was not referring to native americans exactly, but to the prior practice by whites of removing Native Americans or Australian Aborigines from their communities and raising them in a white family in a white community in order to erase their cultural heritage). You have obviously completely misunderstood the point. I now live in a neighborhood with 1-2% whites. But my parents' old neighborhoods (at the time of their deaths) was already less than 20% white. So essentially you have never grown up in that situation, and yet you're telling us who have how we should feel? |
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Post by admin on Mar 25, 2009 20:57:19 GMT -5
This thread is no longer of any use to anyone thinking about raising an EA daughter. If anyone wants to put it back on track, feel free.
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Post by jenbrook on Mar 26, 2009 3:49:19 GMT -5
Happymom - Like many asian families bringing up children in western society, there likely will be a culture clash at home. While some families seem to handle this quite well, some find it very problematic and the clash can be a source of endless conflict and arguements - not a healthy environment to raise children. You will have the urge to pass on the wisdom your own parents taught you and to raise your daughter to live up certain ideals. However, you must take into consideration that she will be growing up in a completely different environment with different standards, expectations and influences.
My advice would be to listen to her carefully, observe her external influences and just learn as much as you can about the generation she is growing up in and guide her as best you can without implementing too much of your own biases. By all means dont ditch chinese child rearing methods, just realise that some of them can be unsuitable and unrealistic in a modern western climate. What you dont want is a full on war between east and west at home, where you both go haywire because neither of you understand each other. Remember that she is much younger and much less adept at trying to understand your side of things. Gently try to get her to understand instead of enforcing them on her.. otherwise there is a risk that she will learn to resent her bi-raciality.
However, just the fact that you sought out a place like EAN to learn more about raising an EA child tells me that you are open-minded and will be very understanding of her experiences. So goodluck to you!
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Post by jefe on Mar 30, 2009 1:28:23 GMT -5
Jen, I think you are basically spot on. As you mentioned, there is a risk of the child resenting the biraciality. There is also a risk that a few might feel special or even *better* because of it. The problem is that the monoracial parent may not be able to fully empathize with either. But one thing a parent can do is not put limitations on what the child can do because of their multiraciality. IT is always OK to be the first if necessary. Should a parent of a Eurasian tell them that they can NEVER be president, for example? Give them the tools to overcome them, not be limited by them. Indeed, I have met people resent their monoraciality. For example, I have met some Asians who are partially western educated and feel that westerners still will not take them seriously because of their Asian background. If only they could be Eurasian -- then people would recognize their mixed cultural background and give them credit for it. I have also met some Caucasians who want to interact more with Asians but feel held back by their overwhelmingly *foreign* appearance, as if being Eurasian would give them a passport (or at least a visa) into the other side. While this may be partially true, I think they do not realize what they have to give up to get that. So essentially you have never grown up in that situation, and yet you're telling us who have how we should feel? No, wrong again. I did live a very large chunk of my childhood in all white (>99%) neighborhoods. I also grew up part of my early childhood during the segregation era. I have also lived in mixed black-white neighborhoods, majority black neighborhoods, majority latino neighborhoods, majority asian neighborhoods, majority jewish enviroments, and . . . (the list goes on) I have quite a bit of experience living and growing up in a wide variety of environments. |
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thea
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Post by thea on Apr 3, 2009 1:40:28 GMT -5
Regarding the raising of an EA daughter, or in my case 2 EA sons and a daughter. I was a born and raised in San Francisco, born in the Presidio and grew up in the Western Addition which is predominantly African American, but at different times in its history had Japanese-Americans, Russian Orthodox, Russian Jews, Filipino-Americans who got here in the 40s and 50s and 60s Vietnamese in the 70s, Laos, Eritreans etc, its socio-economic composition is constantly in flux. I went to both public and Catholic schools in the area one of the Catholic schools being a Japanese Mission, but currently the school on its location is now a mainstream Catholic High school for boys. That being said, I chose to send my son to a Japanese multicultural preschool and eventually to a Japanese bicultural language program in a public school. Why did I send my son to a Japanese emphasized preschool. Besides being close to home, well established and familiar, the majority of the students enrolled were Asian/Eurasian /Blasian. In a physical sense I wanted my son's sense of normalicy to being emphasized. The teachers weren't just Japanese, a couple were Chinese, others were Filipino/Japanese, Hispanic/Japanese and Chinese/Filipino. I liked him seeing people in authority who weren't just mainstream white Americans. I also liked him to learn the Asian custom/tradition of repect for elders. Also for me I liked meeting the different sorts of Asian moms -the overseas born or the ones whose family has been have been in the U.S. for 3 or more generations. (I have noted, at least from my experience- that Asians that have been here for a couple of generations are quite nonchalant about Eurasians, which I like. I'll elaborate on that on another thread.) My son at this time is not aware of being Eurasian. The kids in his kindergarten class have a different take about ethnicity. Most kids assume that people are the language they speak.For example,one of the kids in class stated that another girl's mom was Russian (born and bred)and her dad was Japanese (U.S. born and bred). An African-American girl interrupted and stated, that the dad was Japanese and English. Meaning he was English because he spoke English. Once my son stated that his teacher was Japanese-American and English. His teacher had told the class that she was Japanese-American. I asked my son what he was and he said, "English." Some of the kids refered to themselves as English because they spoke English. Anyhow, I could say more about what little kids say about race and ethnicity since I've worked in a school for awhile, but I'm tired and off to bed.  |
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Post by Miyuki on Apr 3, 2009 8:28:03 GMT -5
Regarding the raising of an EA daughter, or in my case 2 EA sons and a daughter. I was a born and raised in San Francisco, born in the Presidio and grew up in the Western Addition which is predominantly African American, but at different times in its history had Japanese-Americans, Russian Orthodox, Russian Jews, Filipino-Americans who got here in the 40s and 50s and 60s Vietnamese in the 70s, Laos, Eritreans etc, its socio-economic composition is constantly in flux. I went to both public and Catholic schools in the area one of the Catholic schools being a Japanese Mission, but currently the school on its location is now a mainstream Catholic High school for boys. That being said, I chose to send my son to a Japanese multicultural preschool and eventually to a Japanese bicultural language program in a public school. Why did I send my son to a Japanese emphasized preschool. Besides being close to home, well established and familiar, the majority of the students enrolled were Asian/Eurasian /Blasian. In a physical sense I wanted my son's sense of normalicy to being emphasized. The teachers weren't just Japanese, a couple were Chinese, others were Filipino/Japanese, Hispanic/Japanese and Chinese/Filipino. I liked him seeing people in authority who weren't just mainstream white Americans. I also liked him to learn the Asian custom/tradition of repect for elders. Also for me I liked meeting the different sorts of Asian moms -the overseas born or the ones whose family has been have been in the U.S. for 3 or more generations. (I have noted, at least from my experience- that Asians that have been here for a couple of generations are quite nonchalant about Eurasians, which I like. I'll elaborate on that on another thread.) My son at this time is not aware of being Eurasian. The kids in his kindergarten class have a different take about ethnicity. Most kids assume that people are the language they speak.For example,one of the kids in class stated that another girl's mom was Russian (born and bred)and her dad was Japanese (U.S. born and bred). An African-American girl interrupted and stated, that the dad was Japanese and English. Meaning he was English because he spoke English. Once my son stated that his teacher was Japanese-American and English. His teacher had told the class that she was Japanese-American. I asked my son what he was and he said, "English." Some of the kids refered to themselves as English because they spoke English. Anyhow, I could say more about what little kids say about race and ethnicity since I've worked in a school for awhile, but I'm tired and off to bed. Wow, what a difference being in a multicultural city like SF. I'd love to have the option of a Japanese multicultural preschool school for my kids. I believe my city has spanish and french options, but I haven't looked too much into it. To touch on what you mentioned about 3rd gen American Asian moms, I agree that the fascination with EAs isn't there, but with their kids, I think it is. I have EA friends who have zero connection to their Asian side because their mom is a third gen Canadian, and they seem to be longing for a connection, but they can't get it from their family. Anyways, I'm interested to hear your thoughts on it in your other thread. |
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Post by nemesisgalofdoom on Apr 3, 2009 17:23:31 GMT -5
The only thing which I can offer my Daughter from this town is to send her to the Japanese play group. There are several Japanese in Munic and some of them has generated a playgroup. I hope that there'll be some half, I will not send my Daughter there if thered be Japanese only - to avoid her being teased (shes Quarter ^^), I know how mean the Japanese can be just because someone is different (island-mentality I guess)
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Post by Miyuki on Apr 4, 2009 12:14:49 GMT -5
The only thing which I can offer my Daughter from this town is to send her to the Japanese play group. There are several Japanese in Munic and some of them has generated a playgroup. I hope that there'll be some half, I will not send my Daughter there if thered be Japanese only - to avoid her being teased (shes Quarter ^^), I know how mean the Japanese can be just because someone is different (island-mentality I guess) I went to Japanese school in Vancouver and there were fully caucasian kids there. They weren't teased from what I can remember. I think it'd be a great experience for your child regardless of if there were other EAs there or not. |
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Post by nemesisgalofdoom on Apr 5, 2009 20:29:05 GMT -5
My sister went to Japanese school in GERMANY which was always on saturdays, and she didnt have any friends there: she was the only half, and therefor the kids (Japanese kids living in Germany) called her "gaijin" in Germany. That was ridiculous. I used to be called gaijin in Japan as a kid, I don't want my daughter to go through this.
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Post by mingzayni88 on Apr 14, 2009 9:37:51 GMT -5
Like many on this tread, I think you should teach her your language and culture. i'm around 1/4 Asian (Indian/chinese...it's hard to tell the exact percentage w/ caribbean people) Unfortunately my family failed to do that and are Asian side might aswell not even exist, we kind of acknowledge it and we aren't ashame to talk about it when it's relative, but other then that, it's a non-factor in our lives. I mean i didn't begin to embrace my asian side until after I lived in Asia as a kid. On the other hand, My younger siblings are 1/2 Indonesian (we have different mothers), and are very informed of both cultures, speak (well one speaks, the other just understands) bahasa Indonesia, know a few things on Indonesian culture, and are great well rounded kids comfortable with their identity. i keep thinking that if ppl from my mum's family just passed down a bit of there culture, taught there kids Hindi or Mandarin, We could have been like my 1/2 sibling, man I envy those 2! So, please teach her your culture and language, I believe when she's older she'll really appreciate that you did! |
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