Anyone here a parent??? Question about 1/4 Asians

[mama]

Hi all, I'm currently raising a 2 year old 1/4 Asian child, and have a ton of questions. Since I don't know anyone else personally in the same situation as myself, I figure this would be a good place to ask.

I'm half Filipino and my husband is white. He doesn't see the cultural thing being a big deal, but I feel a need to pass down what Asian roots I have to my son. Unfortunately I have some issues with my family (long story but let's just say they treat me like sh*t) and so I'm not entirely gung ho about it. Plus we only see them on holidays and other than that our world is pretty "white" (We live outside of Boston)

I'm curious what any of you plan to do when you have children, regarding passing down their heritage, or, if any of your have 1/4 Asian kids or ARE 1/4 Asian yourself, what you think?

Thanks for your thoughts!

[nemesisgalofdoom]

@ mama

I'm interested in 1/4 Asians b*cause I also have a 1/4 Asian Child - and dont know any 1/4 Asian, never even seen one except my Daughter.
I even started a thread

eurasiannation.proboards48.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=9941

[mama]

Hey there nemisisgal.....I'll check out your thread!

[Roam'n]

For a 1/4th asian-3/4 white child; their 'asianness' is a matter of subjectiveness, since they would have features that's well within the realm of caucasoid deviation (i.e. they can pretty much pass for full white).

Case in point; here is my 1/4 filipino 3/4 white niece:


As for the cultural aspect; I'm also half Philippine, although I was born and raised in the U.S; I never learned philipino since it was never spoken at home (having a white american mom pretty much assured that) although I was unknowingly raised with many Philippine values; such as deep ties to family & community, respect for elders, and a tremendous amount of humility and selflessness towards others. It was a lovely experience to visit the philippines 2 years ago and to realize that most everything was rather familiar in that sense.

I hope to instill the same values to my kid.. (I have one daughter)... but as the years go by, I'm noticing it's an uphill battle, since I can already see she's being well affected by the american values of consumerism and selfishness that's well permeated in this country.

Ok enough of the rant.. I probably didn't answer your question, sorry

[nemesisgalofdoom]

I think it's a bit "harder" to figure out - or to "find" Asian feature of an 1/4 Filipono (same for Malasian/Indonasian) in Europe because the Europeans almost figure out the "Asiannes" (or EAness - for Germans EAs are Asians ^^) due to the typicall eye-shape (Chinese, Japanese, Koreans etc)
It might be different in the US where almost everyone is mixed I guess.

Compared with your niece (who can pass for Italian, Turkish or for Spanish in Germany), my Daughter looks Asian.

[2bob]

^im a 1/4 Indonesian with a bit of chinese. ask me any question u want lol

[Julz 33]

I am 1/4 caucasian (Irish and Scottish), half Filipino and 1/4 Chinese.

I strongly believe that is important to pass down your culture and traditions to your children, so that they may know where they come from and you and your family come from. My father was never really close to his Chinese side (he is also eurasian), but he would expose me to Chinese festivals, movies and even the friends that he brought into my life. it is only in the last few years that I have met my dad's Chinese cousins and learned more about my grandfather. My mother who is filipino, raised my sister and I to know our filipino side, through our relatives, movies, family friends and even filipino heritage school. My sister was even in a filipino marching band. But as my grandmother passed on before I was born, I learned about my Irish/Scottish side through my dad, my aunt and their stories as well as correspondence from their cousins in Scotland. As a result, I am always proud to speak of my mixed heritage because my parents gave me the opportunity to be exposed to them as I was growing up and to this day.

[Miyuki]

mama, I think it'd be great if you could celebrate some Filipino holidays and try cooking some Filipino foods with your child. And if there are any cultural festivals where you live, that'd be great exposure too. You don't necessarily have to rely on your Filipino family to help connect your child with the culture. You can research it yourself and go from there. Do you speak the language at all? I think it's great that you want your son to feel connected to his Filipino side.

I'm going to rely a lot on my mom to pass down my Japanese culture (and my brother and sister who are both fluent). I'm also going to try really hard to travel to Japan every couple of years. I have so many memories of travelling there as a child and that made me feel really connected to Japan. I'm not sure about Japanese school though. The language part seems the toughest thing to pass down unless both parents are speaking it regularly in the house. I can read some Japanese so I'll try to have a lot of Japanese kid books around. I guess that's it. I don't expect them to be fluent or to totally understand Japanese culture (I sure as heck don't), but I'd like them to feel a connection, so that when they're older they can decide if it's something they want to explore further. One last thing, I'll definitely be giving my kids a Japanese middle name. Phew, I think that's it!

[mama]

Thanks guys, I think you've all brought up some great things for me to do with my Little Dude. I've already been exposing him to filipino food (he adores lumpia!) Unfortunately I don't speak the language so that I can't pass on. As far as values, I'm pretty much completely white-washed (and so is my husband) so he's going to grow up pretty Americanized. Not like that's a bad thing. I just want him to know where he comes from, especially when people point out that his mom looks really Asian (He looks white BTW, and I often get asked if he's mine. LOL!)

Honestly, I get a little paranoid that he'll be embarrassed about being Asian, since I know I was as a child.

[nemesisgalofdoom]

mama said:

Honestly, I get a little paranoid that he'll be embarrassed about being Asian, since I know I was as a child.

Hm, think to know what u mean somehow.

Embarrassing is maybe the wrong term for me - I mean it more in this way: I will prevent my Daughter from feeling something like "inferior" for having Asian heritage - or for not being 100% German.
This is b/c I got treated stupid resp. got some stupid comments from my "white side". It did bother me in the past when I was still young.

If any German (with racist tendency, no matter how subtile) come to me in any stupid way, I screw them all up !

I am proud not to be full German and sooooo "potato-like" - and we will raise our Daughter to a self-confident person, she has all qualities to be so anyways ;D

[Pushnpull]

My son is 1/4 asian...

and anyone who knows me from my past posts knows how hung up I can get on my race,my son's race,etc.

Now that my son's 3.... it doesn't really matter to me anymore. He is so much more than some racial category. Do I want him to know his cultural heritage? Sure. But he's one of those 1/4 asians that has very strong asian features. He can look in the mirror just like his 1/2 Filipina mommy and never doubt he is part Asian. So I am not worried about that. Now his other racial heritages...that might prove difficult as he gets older if he starts to feel more at home with his peers or want to be like his peers.


I have to take offense at all the assumptions I've read about 1/4 asians not looking asian?

WTF? You can't go around saying that's the look of 1/4 asians. My son can pass for a full blooded Filipino. As can I.

Who cares. I can still out pullup any white looking Eurasian chick(right, that's supposed to be the standard of beauty for mixed people...to look evenly mixed whatever that is or if not to look more caucasian) and my son can still out air guitar any 1/4 white looking asian kid.


Damn...maybe i am still hung up on race. LOL

tinypic.com/player.php?v=2j12y5u&s=5

[Miyuki]

Feb 27, 2009 23:55:36 GMT -5 Pushnpull said:

I have to take offense at all the assumptions I've read about 1/4 asians not looking asian?


tinypic.com/player.php?v=2j12y5u&s=5

Agreed. It's silly to assume 1/4 Asians don't look Asian. Look at Jon and Kate plus 8!

[nemesisgalofdoom]

@ Elfie

Hi there, cool to have another 1/4-Asian-Baby-mom here ^^^

thereturn said:

I have to take offense at all the assumptions I've read about 1/4 asians not looking asian?

LOL, I hope u mean paul ;D

First of all:

I must admit that its very gorgeous to have a Daugher thats very pretty - such a thing is a nice "sideeffect" for me, I'm just glad that she is HEALTHY - no matter how Asian she looks (or not)

Before my daugher was born, I had more or less no idea how a quarter Asian would look like - I was curios for sure (thinking: how would THAT look like ^^)
How strong (or less strong) the Asian features comes out varies, and depend on the Euro-Parents - or whatever the non-EA parent is

My intensions are:

1: Not making a big deal to my Daughter about being EA (all these stereotypes things )

2: To give her the chance to have a connection to Japanese culture, because its a part of her culture ! Just to pass my culture to her like the way it is.

3: Preventing her for being "embarrassed" or "inferior" about having Asian heritage and to live in Germany. (There is NO reason to feel so !)
Hanging up in races is actually old fashioned in Germany (ok, in bigger towns at least) - but there are some very racist people although its getting to a minority.
Giving a child a big self confidence by the way of raising (also from the Euro side of the parent) is a big point here

I think, raising a 2nd genration EA is a cool and a interessting job !

[catgirl]

I dont think I have any Asian culture to pass on Children who get to know parts of their Asian culture and language and have other Asian relatives are lucky in my eyes! I think it takes a strong person to pass on this and to keep it alive.

[amalgam]

Umm, I'm not sure if you're already married but if you find an Asian or Eurasian guy there will be plenty of Asian culture to pass down to your children.