Post by rob on Apr 4, 2009 3:10:19 GMT -5
OK, this a thread where EAN'ers share their best lines/moves/techniques for getting in with the opposite sex. Post your recommendations here so the noobs can wise up
(And since most us are computer geeks and get off on anime tentacle porn, note these can apply to on-line or RL situations)
So, how do *I* pick up girls?
I'll kick start things
1. Build a trophy cabinet / Wear your medals around - See all those trophies that winning sports team go batshinola over when they win the league championship? They're made in China and even the most ornate ones max out at $100 bucks with engraving about $0.10 cents a letter...... so make a bunch of them and build a massive cabinet in your living room to display a wide range of sporting, academic and humanitarian achievements. Your basement might reek of mold and dirty laundry, but girls will literally wet themselves the minute they see that wall of alpha males-ness.
If you can't get girls to step into your basement$h*thole suite, it's also a good idea to take your trophies for a walk (just like you would a pet). On the streets, take note of the female reaction:
- 20% of girls will think you're God, run over and chat you up (obfuscate any detailed enquiries with "Oh really, it's not much. I really don't want to brag or anything".... girls will marvel at how humble you are)
- 20% will pretend not to notice you. These girls want to talk to you, but are a bit overwhelmed.
- 20% of girls will sneer and say stuff like "a$$" or "tard"..... These girls want you badly . Your achievements are a stark reminder of their failures and how much they hate their boyfriends and their miserable lives.
- The other 40% will have a puzzled look, keep walking and look back...... these girls aren't quite sure which paper they read about you in. Eventually when they get home (or after they see your black-friends high-five you en masse..... or your white friends parents clapping and nodding their heads @ Safeway) they'll realize "I don't know who he is, but he's certainly achieved something important *swoon*".
-----------
Who's next?
Rob,go wash your mouth out!
(And since most us are computer geeks and get off on anime tentacle porn, note these can apply to on-line or RL situations)
So, how do *I* pick up girls?
I'll kick start things
1. Build a trophy cabinet / Wear your medals around - See all those trophies that winning sports team go batshinola over when they win the league championship? They're made in China and even the most ornate ones max out at $100 bucks with engraving about $0.10 cents a letter...... so make a bunch of them and build a massive cabinet in your living room to display a wide range of sporting, academic and humanitarian achievements. Your basement might reek of mold and dirty laundry, but girls will literally wet themselves the minute they see that wall of alpha males-ness.
If you can't get girls to step into your basement
- 20% of girls will think you're God, run over and chat you up (obfuscate any detailed enquiries with "Oh really, it's not much. I really don't want to brag or anything".... girls will marvel at how humble you are)
- 20% will pretend not to notice you. These girls want to talk to you, but are a bit overwhelmed.
- 20% of girls will sneer and say stuff like "a$$" or "tard"..... These girls want you badly . Your achievements are a stark reminder of their failures and how much they hate their boyfriends and their miserable lives.
- The other 40% will have a puzzled look, keep walking and look back...... these girls aren't quite sure which paper they read about you in. Eventually when they get home (or after they see your black-friends high-five you en masse..... or your white friends parents clapping and nodding their heads @ Safeway) they'll realize "I don't know who he is, but he's certainly achieved something important *swoon*".
-----------
Who's next?
Rob,go wash your mouth out!