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Post by milkman's baby on Apr 26, 2009 14:17:20 GMT -5
My school has a lot of foreign exchange students, particularly from the Middle East. Most of them are male (go figure) and probably Muslim. I frequently get stopped on the sidewalk or other public areas and forced into a conversation that ends with them asking me to come back to their apartment with them to "practice English" (come on, you think I'm that dumb?). I usually just say no thanks and I'm not interested but they think I'm playing hard-to-get and they get even more pushy. After I finally break it down as politely as possible, they get angry and shocked. I think many of these men are sexually oppressed through their Islamic religion back home, and they see American girls as easy fun that their parents won't find out about. Even moreover, I'm starting to think they go for the EA or more mixed looking girls because after a large contingent of white girls turn them down, they figure the other girls must be open to it. I never give in A) because it's sleazy and creepy to pick up chicks on the street and B) I'm just not into non-native English speakers (no offense to anyone). It's kind of difficult to politely turn them down though, because of language barriers. Does anyone else have this problem or am I just being bigoted and racist? How do you respond to obnoxious foreigners without being rude?
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Post by admin on Apr 26, 2009 15:20:55 GMT -5
Obnoxious is obnoxious - focus on that and not their country.
Don't worry about being rude if it's appropriate. Some situations call for that.
Men understand women owe them nothing - their protests are part of their strategy. If you aren't interested, wave them off. Me, I never stop moving my feet for strangers if I get appropached. If someone wants to pace alongside me, that's their business. You'd be surprised how lazy people are and how effective the 'never stop' policy is. I'd put it at 100%.
Finally, while it's bad to generalize, I've known some true heartbreak which is much as you've described. Men will romance women outside of their social/cultural circle, tell them they love them, etc., and then sometimes after years and without discussion just dump them and marry some girl their parents choose for them (or they choose for themselves). Ironically, as soon as a woman sleeps with some of these guys, she becomes unworthy of marriage.
Anyway, do you really need any more justification than " it's sleazy and creepy to pick up chicks on the street?"
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Post by betahat on Apr 26, 2009 15:56:38 GMT -5
^You'd be surprised how lazy people are and how effective the 'never stop' policy is. I'd put it at 100%.
You've obviously never been to Cuba or India. You might have to supplement the `never stop' policy with the 'never stop running' policy.
^ I frequently get stopped on the sidewalk or other public areas and forced into a conversation that ends with them asking me to come back to their apartment with them to "practice English" (come on, you think I'm that dumb?)
There are some cultures where men are more forward and cat-calls and hitting on women in the street are considered socially acceptable. Having never been to the middle-east I can't comment on whether that is considered normal behavior in their country or they are adapting their approach based on their concept of Western women as slutty (no doubt stoked by the fact that in their home countries, the images of women they tend to see are from porno, MTV, and Hollywood). Just continue to politely decline, and if that fails, ignore them. Or get a boyfriend.
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Post by admin on Apr 26, 2009 16:11:09 GMT -5
^You'd be surprised how lazy people are and how effective the 'never stop' policy is. I'd put it at 100%. You've obviously never been to Cuba or India. You might have to supplement the `never stop' policy with the 'never stop running' policy. She was talking about her Uni in the States. And while I have not been to Cuba nor India, I've experienced the Ramora-like persistence of touts and beggars in Morocco, Thailand, and Vietnam. What works here (US) doesn't often translate overseas. Here in the US, the 'never stop' policy is pretty effective.
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Post by betahat on Apr 27, 2009 1:54:04 GMT -5
That's true, although there are definitely canvassers for environmental organizations and those black kids who are always raising money for their basketball team, who will occasionally follow you a block or two. But yeah, their range is more limited, and they tend to take a hint if you ignore them completely.
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Post by Subuatai on Apr 27, 2009 7:34:38 GMT -5
What's wrong with that? Just strike a friendly conversation on a boring 2-hr train ride and if you know you two can't get enough of each other exchange numbers. Well, guess that's not street-pickups but still
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Post by Groink on Apr 27, 2009 13:18:56 GMT -5
Well, there is a huge difference between a totally random, walking in opposite directions kind of pick up situation as opposed to say like two people reaching for the last box of mac'n cheese in the grocery store.
Maybe some women respond to it? I guess you gotta know your audience and tailor your tactics accordingly.
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Post by decepticons on Apr 27, 2009 18:11:48 GMT -5
i think carpet bombing is the usual strategy for most people that "street call". throw out a 1000 and get 1 return. call it a day. rinse and repeat.
id say thats about as far as tactics go in that department
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Post by nemesisgalofdoom on Apr 28, 2009 14:08:52 GMT -5
@ sweetfart
I think to understand what u r talking about.
There was a time in my life where I really hated muslims and Turks: there are many of them in Germany. When I first time moved to Germany, well, I've got "hitten" ......or sexually botherd by them alot. It was so annoying.
I*ve changed my attitide towards them since I'm also met Turks who are not those.......who are really polite......since I*v been living in different towns.
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Post by Subuatai on Apr 28, 2009 16:21:46 GMT -5
^ Some Turks hate Muslims and are now fighting hard to reconvert their people back to the ancient steppe tradition of Shamanism/Tengriism under eternal blue sky
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Post by helles on Apr 29, 2009 0:48:59 GMT -5
I've had a few bad experiences with tourists in HK trying their luck whilst on holiday. noooooo way. That or they think I blend in with the 'working girl' population.
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Post by palaver on Apr 29, 2009 14:21:26 GMT -5
Should she be so flummoxed by an exotic man's sexual approach? Is Nebraska such a repressive country? When a Muslim man sees a women without a male chaperon, it gets his tail wagging and he gets a little feisty. I'm generalizing from Egyptian men in particular, but then we're all a little guilty here. I'd wear my I hate people with funny accents t-shirt--but I happen to love women with accents. Funny thing, though, true Nebraskans don't have accents. How totally unsexy.
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Shock
Full Member
Posts: 261
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Post by Shock on Apr 30, 2009 9:17:21 GMT -5
ALL THE MUSLIMS ARE NERD!
the plain truth.
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Post by betahat on Apr 30, 2009 13:08:19 GMT -5
Kareem begs to differ. If you're going to be bigoted, at least get it right -you do know the difference between muslims and arabs, no?
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Shock
Full Member
Posts: 261
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Post by Shock on Apr 30, 2009 13:19:34 GMT -5
@ sweetfart I think to understand what u r talking about. There was a time in my life where I really hated muslims and Turks: there are many of them in Germany. When I first time moved to Germany, well, I've got "hitten" ......or sexually botherd by them alot. It was so annoying. I*ve changed my attitide towards them since I'm also met Turks who are not those.......who are really polite......since I*v been living in different towns. I love turks. The majority of turks are eurasian.
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