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Post by betahat on May 16, 2009 19:16:33 GMT -5
Using violence to defend against verbal insults is against my generally pacifist mindset. When I was a kid I was bullied on a few occasions and I would retaliate with violence, but these days my policy is basically to avoid conflict if possible (turn around and walk away) or if that isn't possible than to retaliate verbally. I wouldn't resort to violence unless someone was physically accosting her. On our various travels, and even walking past Berkeley homeless people, you get occasional insults but I just ignore them. I think my wife wishes I was actually a bit more jealous and protective every time she talks to another man, someone makes eyes at her, someone says something negative about her, etc. but that's just not in my personality. I guess I'm not very sensitive to insults any more - I think it comes from years of taking verbal abuse from my younger brother, which often ended in me beating him up, until I learned to just ignore it.
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terce
Junior Member
Posts: 68
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Post by terce on May 16, 2009 20:01:13 GMT -5
if my bf was verbally insulted, yes i would defend him. no one is allowed to insult my bfs but me! but if he was physically attacked, probs not. i think i'd be more of a hinderance than anything else..
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Post by meep on May 16, 2009 21:06:39 GMT -5
I don't believe violence is useful.
I would fight verbally, though.
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Post by rob on May 16, 2009 23:25:40 GMT -5
I'm hard pressed to think of anyone who's 'won' their relationship on account of physical or even verbal sparring. Courtship and 'prize-winning' these days seems to be more about the following:
- Natural looks (ie. face, build and muscle tone... this criteria dominates when we're younger.. i suppose it points to some primal healthiness) - Persistence/Aggressiveness/Overexposure (Familiarity breeds contempt attraction) - Wealth (as evidenced by money, cars, house etc... most girls just want to be taken care of) - Talent (e.g., good singer, guitarist..... better genes!) - Caregiver qualities: (would make a good father)
As for 'fighting' for my mate, assuming we're already together, heck ya.... Thomas Aquinas Just War theory.
Would I fight someone to impress/win her? no need .... i just flash my green visa card and tell everyone, "it's beyond platinum, beyond black, ..... it's EVERGREEN and oh so exclusive"... then her eyes light up and it's game over.
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Post by Hogan on May 16, 2009 23:28:11 GMT -5
Would I fight someone to impress/win her? no need .... i just flash my green visa card and tell everyone, "it's beyond platinum, beyond black, ..... it's EVERGREEN and oh so exclusive"... then her eyes light up and it's game over. You can't beat that it's better than brass knuckles.
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Post by palaver on May 17, 2009 0:17:32 GMT -5
I think my wife wishes I was actually a bit more jealous and protective every time she talks to another man, someone makes eyes at her, someone says something negative about her, etc. but that's just not in my personality. I think I would say something like... there is no correlation between attractiveness and infidelity with women. Also, the first man you're statistically apt to cheat with would be my best friend--so casual encounters don't really concern me. Also the more overprotective a man becomes, the more effete he looks. Like I don't have the confidence to find another women. Pfft! You want yappy dog, go find one that fits in your purse. But honest relationships don't exist. Sometimes it's easier losing to some random bloke in a fist fight rather than trying to make your partner understand how you truly feel. [Actually, losing is always easier. Fighting is having lost the battle of words.] Would I fight someone to impress/win her? no need .... i just flash my green visa card There you go confusing me again, sounding like a man. Or did you break character.
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Post by Subuatai on May 17, 2009 1:31:25 GMT -5
I think my wife wishes I was actually a bit more jealous and protective every time she talks to another man, someone makes eyes at her LOL! I'm too proud and too much of an arrogant jerk to show that I'm jealous ;D In fact, I actually enjoy watching her handle such situations by herself cause she is quite witty. Years ago when we had really strong trust as couple both of us could flirt openly with others for fun and neither of us would get jealous. Nowadays, she seems to be a bit more sensitive about me flirting ever since I went a little 'too far' a year ago. To be honest though, I find it kinda cute. When me and my wife were just friends, I was still with my ex - who was so threatened by my wife that she demanded I delete her number off my phone, never talk to her again, promise her I won't see her etc. Ironicly, her jealousy pushed me towards an emotional affair with my wife. The two had huge cat fights over the last few months of my relationship with my ex, and though I was kinda embarrassed watching it, I found it rather flattering ;D My wife at that time was just a really good friend, yet her feelings slipped more then once during it which was so ADORABLE ;D ... I miss that
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Post by ChickenSoda on May 17, 2009 1:37:43 GMT -5
Fighting is having lost the battle of words. This assumes that the person you're in a confrontation with is reasonable to begin with, which is often not the case. Also, as Paddy said, "There's nothing like a smart arse to get a fight going!"- winning a battle of wits might mean that you've won "the real fight", but you're only angering the person that you've just made look foolish. If you really want to avoid physical confrontation, the best way is to simply turn the other cheek- and sometimes, that too will further enrage someone who is determined to fight. And besides- that's for chumps. You have every right to stand up for yourself. I've kind of strayed from the topic now, though. I think that when guys fight over girls, they're not REALLY fighting over the girls. If I'm with a girl, and some guy acknowledges this and continues to pursue the girl I'm with, I don't get mad because I think she might run off with him or anything like that- I get mad because of the disrespect that it expresses towards me.
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Post by Subuatai on May 17, 2009 1:50:02 GMT -5
Haha! AGREED!
True, but it's much more fun to watch her handle the situation in my opinion. Feels better too.
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Post by LaFace on May 17, 2009 7:18:17 GMT -5
my policy is basically to avoid conflict if possible (turn around and walk away) or if that isn't possible than to retaliate verbally. ^My thoughts exactly, because of the following post... I don't believe violence is useful. To be honest, I question the maturity of anyone who wants another person to fight if it can be avoided. It serves no purpose, unless one's ego is in desperate need of petting.
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Post by Paddy on May 17, 2009 7:43:06 GMT -5
my policy is basically to avoid conflict if possible (turn around and walk away) or if that isn't possible than to retaliate verbally. ^My thoughts exactly, because of the following post... I don't believe violence is useful. To be honest, I question the maturity of anyone who wants another person to fight if it can be avoided. It serves no purpose, unless one's ego is in desperate need of petting. You sound like Spock. Are you Vulcan?
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Post by i move the stars for no one on May 17, 2009 7:53:53 GMT -5
To be honest, I question the maturity of anyone who wants another person to fight if it can be avoided. It serves no purpose, unless one's ego is in desperate need of petting. agreed.
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Post by palaver on May 17, 2009 13:00:44 GMT -5
Fighting is having lost the battle of words. This assumes that the person you're in a confrontation with is reasonable to begin with, which is often not the case. Not every fight is fair, even with words. The objective is to make them look unreasonable or stupid. If they are already there... Changing weapons to physical violence only allows him to continue or having lost the first round, allows you to continue. But humans beings are innately averse to loss. If he truly has nothing to lose--and you have something important to lose--then he will quit. I get mad because of the disrespect that it expresses towards me. To disrespect my woman is to disrespect me? That requires some cultural cues. But I do believe that some men are petty enough to be only after your queen, not your kingdom. But if a rival assaults your mate as a formal declaration of hostiles--and the authorities are of no help--then I suppose it can't be helped. Fighting is the ring you were born in.
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Post by Subuatai on May 17, 2009 13:30:59 GMT -5
Words... what honor is there in it? I'd rather beat him up or pin him against the wall twisting his arm until he submits, then buy him a beer afterwards. I've made many friends this way last few years. All this pacifism about non-violence and such, as men we should be allowed to compete physically.
I have no respect for those "men" who cry to the courts about "assault" and "grievous bodily harm" over fights which are natural in society. "Civilisation" really sickens me at times.
I even had my tooth punched out by the best striker I have ever fought - I hold no hate towards him. Even if I had to spend $3000 to get my teeth fixed I'd rather my money be spent on this then spending on the current court cases that I have spend money due to these pathetic squids who cry and get away with it. It's pathetic!
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Post by meep on May 17, 2009 17:03:07 GMT -5
^ What is honour? And why is physical violence honourable?
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