Just came across this and find it very interesting - especially those posts related to the initial topic, rejection of your ethnicity - and I am glad to see there has still been recent posts here in April 2011 - and hope my post will elicit some responses.
I am half danish/half japanese and I am a guy- When I was a child I was very fair and had blond hair and brown/green eyes. When I entered puberty, I became more swarthy, but I still have distinct european features(and some asian too, of course). Anyhow, I've always identified more with the scandinavian ancestry, because this is my mentality, the environment I grew up in and frankly this is what I looked like and was taken for also when I was growing up before reaching puberty. Say until I was perhaps 10 years old I was just considered to be any other danish kid, and people would not think my mother was actually my biological mother- And yes, sadly this also resulted in me rejecting my japanese part. For example I did not like it when my mom would speak loudly to me in Japanese and notice the reactions this would elicit, sad, but I guess perfectly understandable. Euroasian kids certainly don't have it easy, especially if they are perhaps growing up in a predominantly white area - I imagine, it is easier the other way around.
Anyhow, I recall it hitting me the hardest when changing to a new High School and being thrown from being and always considering myself as being like any other danish kid who happened to have a foreign mother, to suddenly always being categorized as the 'Japanese', which did not feel very comfortable and was rather baffling - I recall other students always taking a great delight in which ever opportunity they could or whatever I did, I would somehow have to be defined by my japaneseness - like if I said, I don't understand why more people don't learn Spanish, somebody would respond back, I don't understand why you don't admit you are Japanese - or, if I say, nice sunglasses - yes, when you wear them, you look like Yoko Ono. (Get the idea, already being at a sensitive age and being by nature sensitive and introverted, it certainly this didn't make life easier when you are at an age when you try to find out who you are and mostly just want to fit in) - So, I guess, I did reject my asianess, because, it led to so much discomfort(and unfortunately to some extent still does)
There is a similar discussion going on here in Slate, where somebody who is 3/4 white and 1/4th Indian touches upon his annoyance at suddenly being labeled Indian. Like this guy, I don't mind that people are aware of it, but I rather have them drop the subject than constantly referring to my ethnicity
www.slate.com/id/2291712/?wpisrc=newsletter_rubricI think in this aspect, being euroasian, being more 'asian' than european looking is easier - as well as perhaps being female as you might then relate easier to the Asian part(and don't 'try to' hide it) - and euroasian women often being very attractive, get preferential treatment.
Let me put it like this, I've reached a stage here in my late 30s where I can honestly say, I am neither proud nor am I ashamed of my japanese ancestry and I do not deny it. So, if somebody starts 'interrogating' me about my ethnicity/japanese side, I make this clear, eg. I am neither proud or ashamed(but, can we change the subject please) - I will however never identify with being japanese. Yes, I speak the language, I like certain japanese foods - But, it just isn't my country and whenever I meet japanese people they invariably speak to me in english - Which is why I find it still quite annoying whenever I have to say where I come from I get puzzled looks and then with perhaps a pained expression wait the litany of nosy questions apart about my ethnicity. Yes, I've been to Japan, yes, I speak Japanese etc etc - and after that, inevitably, I am now officially Japanese, sigh...I guess my frustration with this though is also not just rooted in the way I look, feel etc, but that I am also just rather sensitive by nature, and I feel this is such a personal topic to delve into, eg. one's appearance and ethnicity, that it has always just left me very uncomfortable. I am wondering if others don't feel that way? Like somebody who has to discuss their sexuality or say obesity
When I go out in the world it varies very much which kind of reaction people make on my appearance(although I am sure many people wonder what can I possibly be) - but, I feel it is very rare that I am labeled or treated as purely Asian which is why it(and don't get me wrong, I have of course nothing against Asian people what so ever) it riles me when somebody starts referring to me as Chinese or Korean, either from their own deduction or as soon as I have 'revealed' my ancestry. I am like, have a look at me, can't they tell?. I can always, even for the more asian looking euroasians tell that they are not purely asian and I am thinking to myself, do they even know what a chinese person looks like, but for some people it seems, if you have a touch of Asian in or about you, voila, you must be Chinese... So, whilst I think it is absolutely fine to be say japanese, chinese or korean, it annoys me and has always annoyed me to be put into an ethnic stereo type box that I do not selfidentify with - and that I and forgive me for saying this, feel rare I am identified with(at least this is my feeling). When I have been to Asian countries, I am generally seen as some kind of white. I guess, both ethnic groups notice what is different in you, so in Europe, it is the Asianness that is noticed, in Asia, the european traits. Strangely, I tend to be more accepted by white danish as being fully danish, than say, if I meet a German person and say I am from Denmark. I guess, it is a cultural thing, I act and come across as very Danish, so most danes just assume I am Danish - where as people who do not know Danish culture, make assumptions based on appearance only.
You may think, I am engaging in some wishful thinking about my looks(and denying the asianess), but I do believe this is based on some evidence If I had to classify my looks myself, I would imagine it being Latin or somewhere a little west of Central Asia- Generally, I often experience people assume that I speak Spanish and I think I look South American myself . I've also been taken for Jewish(was flattered), Arab, Turkish, Bulgarian, Russian, Portuguese, Greenlandic, Hungarian, Italian, Mexican and even just plain caucasian.
I guess(and I assume many mixed race people feel this way) that there is a tendency to identify more with one racial group than another, probably especially the one that you have primarily grown up in - and hence sort of resent when people make racist assumptions about you or try to put you into one box only. So, I tend to not go and blurt it out that I am halfjapanese, not because I have anything against japanese, but being rather sensitive and introverted, it inevitablly(and undoubtedly also over the years has given me a lot of problems and given me problems in connecting with people) I feel it automatically lead to a lot of what I find intrusive, nosy questions and a conversational track that I am not interested in participating in and which leaves me uncomfortable(getting better now that my selfworth has improved). I recall going to a party some years ago where the boyfriend of the hostess as the first thing said to me, you are Japanese right - and I am like, ok, do you not want to know my name first...Whilst, another person might be very curious about my ethnicity, I am not obliged to indulge them if I don't feel like it. This can lead to some funny situations when I can really sense somebody else is really itching to know 'what I am'
I guess this is a common occurence amongst euroasians, it is because, the exotic part is more interesting to others,even when you yourself do not particularly identify with it, because you see yourself and want to be seen as just a person. It might be interesting and fascinating to the other person, but it is not to me. As the 1/4 Indian guy, I wish they would let it drop and just treat me as 'me' (luckily, most people do that though in general - and I do feel, it has become a lot more 'accepted' and 'fascinating' to be of mixed race. Anyhow, as difficult as it is to admit to, being mixed race is something that has definantly not made my life easier and whilst I of course do not regret being me or being born(or do not love myself for that matter, lol) - I do not consider myself lucky, and if I had had a choice, It would have been a lot easier and I would have preferred to be just either one race, eg. white or Asian. Also, this in mind, whilst it has not been a huge problem or given me daily worries(say unlike perhaps my brother who is a lot darker than me), I have sadly been the victim of racial discrimination on occasion as well- like, say at a passport control, when I am assumed to be an illegal immigrant or not being allowed into a club because my hair is dark...
I guess all of these issues and the problems it has given me it is first now something that I am starting to reconcile myself with now. I think many people in a pseudo psychological sense assume that this 'denial' means I somehow must hate myself(which is not the case), but I do see myself as being something more than just an ethnicity and naturally would like to be treated this way, like everybody else...
This was therapeutic for me to write - and I hope it will elicit some reactions - and perhaps others have had the same experiences I have had