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Post by Paddy on Jun 22, 2009 17:10:58 GMT -5
Was having a rather sad conversation with my girl this evening about friends. She's feeling pretty lonely and was complaining how her buddies are rubbish. She was asking me if it's because of her that she has few really good friends. Naturally I said that I've never thought much of her friends in the first place (...which is just as dicey as saying 'Nah you're a bitch').
I also said that guys form more reliable, more frank friendships. But I don't know if that's true. And sure, people say that girls are nice face to face, but can be real bitches behind their backs.
What do you think is the real nature of guys and girl's friendships? Expecting copious anecdotes. Gross generalisations are most welcome. Also up for discussion: can men and women truly be friends without 'sex' getting in the way (and can men fake orgasms too)?
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Post by Subuatai on Jun 23, 2009 4:05:11 GMT -5
Most women I've met in my life have always said guy-friends are more fun, reliable, and less backstabby. It's a common generalisation but just how it is. However...
As for girl + girl friendships, tonight my missus decided to pull off a backstab herself surprisingly, and invited her friend to come over just to add some 'favorable weight' on her side of the argument in regards to some personal issues. Considering I can't even walk after that injury, having to constantly worry about financial issues since I'm off work... I'm rather p*ssed off with her at the moment.
And what do you mean real nature of guys and girl's friendships? Yes men and women can be friends without sex getting in the way, unless of course we are both single - then, anything can happen really. But personally, and this is just my bad mood talking tonite; Women just p*ss me off.
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Post by toyomansi on Jun 23, 2009 6:08:05 GMT -5
well if it's any consolation, I also think sometimes girl-girl friendships can be tricky, since we're not as open and honest to each other as guys are  like if someone did something that upset the other one, she wouldn't tell her about it directly but hide her anger while smiling acting friendly to her friend. and later rant about what her friend did wrong to other friends. maybe I'm generalizing, I don't have personal examples of this... I like both girls and guys in their own way. Sometimes I prefer the guys' style of fun, since I was raised among boys and have no sisters. But I always have to be careful with single guys, because most of the time they misinterpret my friendlyness and become desperate for more than friendship... * by friendlyness I mean nothing more than just common "how are you? how's your studies?" >_<' |
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Post by Subuatai on Jun 23, 2009 16:49:13 GMT -5
Guys sort things out, women hold grudges |
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Post by Paddy on Jun 23, 2009 18:59:03 GMT -5
I find the stereotypes don't apply for the most part. Boring answer, I know. Go on... |
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Post by admin on Jun 23, 2009 19:50:42 GMT -5
Well, I have met men and women who fall into both categories (frank/reliable vs catty/bitchy). I think the character of the individual is not tied to whether or not they possess a Y chromosome. A bad friend is just a bad friend. Agreed! And the best thing you can do for yourself is to be HONEST about how they are treating you. Here's an interesting article: love.ivillage.com/fnf/fnffightfriends/0,,nxwf,00.html |
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Post by palaver on Jun 26, 2009 9:29:13 GMT -5
Well, I have met men and women who fall into both categories (frank/reliable vs catty/bitchy). I think the character of the individual is not tied to whether or not they possess a Y chromosome. A bad friend is just a bad friend. I agree, both sexes can get into fights quite easily. It's how well and how quickly they repair those friendships that might set them apart. Men favor quick resolutions, whether it is a quick on-the-spot scuffle, a general truce, or just plain forgetfulness. Women stay mad for a longer period of time and never forget that s***. I've observed that it takes women much longer to repair their friendships. Forgiving is an elaborate mechanism--like the Treaty of Versailles--and women forgetting just never happens. Also there is reason why everyone complains about the Good Ol' Boys Club. The Good Ol' Girls Club couldn't get off the ground due to infighting. Actually, I've read that there is a marked difference in how often women mentor each other versus men. They are more likely to perceive each other as rivals and so forgo the opportunity. Men also devote more time to networking (slacking off) in college than women--which unfortunately results in them getting better opportunities with lower academics. |
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Post by Subuatai on Jun 26, 2009 9:54:22 GMT -5
It's a common stereotype to grow up in as well; in school blokes who have a problem with each other fight it out and become mates after. For girls however, after a fight it's more like "YOU B--CH!!" for another few years.
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Post by palaver on Jun 26, 2009 10:22:44 GMT -5
^ Bah, what can be said of men and women!? That males pair with females is a stereotype because of the exceptions. That men are XY and women are XX is a stereotype (and phenotype) because of the exceptions. Maybe I've been reading too much of Judith Butler's sexual philosophy. |
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Post by Paddy on Jun 26, 2009 16:06:39 GMT -5
That men are XY and women are XX is a stereotype (and phenotype) because of the exceptions. You've lost me there. Isn't such chromosomal arrangement a definition and absolute determining factor of gender? I know that there are anomalous variations of X and Y combinations. |
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Post by Roam'n on Jul 1, 2009 4:39:50 GMT -5
I think it's important to learn to not burn bridges with friendships especially when it comes to mixing it with romance otherwise you get the catty bitches running around the world holding grudges against men. It takes a lot of courage and strength to do that. That's admirable! I think I'm learning that the hard way; I was somewhat of a sore loser when it comes to relationships... once they fail I pretty much want nothing to do with the girl ever again. That should work fine in practice, but really sucked with my ex wife because we had a 2 year old kid when she called it quits, so I was guaranteed to have to deal with her for the next 16 years regardless. (I told her that if we didn't have a kid, she wouldn't even know if I was dead or alive)... As for grudges... I have it!. Not against women personally but I'm really burned out the romantic aspect of them.... I know that some girls can make lovely friends (I know-- I have a few!), but when it comes to relationships, they're very close to useless. I've lost all passion for dealing with them romantically... since the whole dating thing seems like a tiring game: too much effort with never enough return. Being that I've only really had 2 long term relationships and 2 minor ones, I've probably haven't given it enough of a chance. But I'm throwing in the towel until I find the whole thing interesting again. I guess I'm getting old. |
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fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
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Post by fei on Jul 1, 2009 5:32:31 GMT -5
Guy and gal could never be more just friend.... Due to my experience, it always turn physical or in emotions attraction with led to flirtatious seduction to my conclude women are complex and often illogical, act on emotion and intuition more than
men. They don't do the "logical" thing as often as men.Women are attracted to men for reasons that most men either don't know, don't understand,or won't accept. I like to say, "Attraction Isn't A Choice". I yearning to have a female confidante, someone to talk about subject i would not talk to guy but instead without i realizing it, her feelings shifted. She couldn't tear herself away from me,aware of the source of her feelings for me i distance myself away.Women are attracted mostly to my personality trait, the humor wit that i present and the choice of word that i express myself. My word is my only salvation to insanity as i would like to say... They would stir up drama in their thought and strange emotions were stealing up on her, she did not know why? All the sudden i was her choice of perfect man who had somehow slipped into her heart and captured it. But all i want is a friend! Feeling unworthy of my love she would end friendship in bitterly.....
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Post by halfbreed on Jul 3, 2009 1:53:41 GMT -5
I think that even if boys and girls have a platonic relationship, their partners might cause a fuss/feel uneasy.
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buffyuna
Junior Member
The Tabasco Kid
Posts: 94
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Post by buffyuna on Jul 3, 2009 3:57:17 GMT -5
Most girls complicate friendships by being too gossipy . Some of the ones that I work with cant go a day without telling me what so and so said or did. Guys for the most part dont talk about others unless its about a hookup or something.
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Post by geografi on Jul 3, 2009 6:42:00 GMT -5
Guys sort things out, women hold grudges Haha, true |
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like if someone did something that upset the other one, she wouldn't tell her about it directly but hide her anger while smiling acting friendly to her friend. and later rant about what her friend did wrong to other friends. maybe I'm generalizing, I don't have personal examples of this...
