fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
|
Post by fei on Jun 26, 2009 6:23:56 GMT -5
What hurt the most is definitely first love.. The first time you ever thought that you could truly love another human being, the very thought of the person could make you smile, cry and laugh all emotion roll into one. In your eyes, he/she is truly perfect ever created onto this earth.With promise of love to the end, you started believe maybe there such thing as fairly tale ending. But when time to move on, feeling of lost and despaired creep in. Everyone else will be second best, none comparison to he/she. All the places remind you of him/her,every word and every gesture. You with someone else but thinking of him/her, regret how can you could let yourself, let her/him go. You want to stay but best that you leave, it better to love and lost than never being loved before...
Ever experience first love before? Share your experience, maybe opening up may heal the wound somehow......
|
|
|
Post by jenbrook on Jun 26, 2009 7:46:36 GMT -5
Urgh love has turned me into the biggest cynic ever. Every guy i've ever loved to some degree, has turned out to be the biggest a-hole ever. My experience with being properly in love faded after a year and i went from thinking he was my soulmate forever and i'll never meet anyone like him ever again evAr, to never wanting to see him again and not giving a flying fark.
What i'm curious about is that fairytale period which seems to last until something disastrous happens and all of a sudden you crash down to reality.. why is the mind so easily persuaded to believe something so unrealistic? MaMaybe i was just young and have a rogue imagination. Needless to say.. i'm off men and relationships in general.
|
|
fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
|
Post by fei on Jun 26, 2009 8:18:05 GMT -5
^ But how can love found you if you dont give love a chance. You close all door to all emotion, to this it might consume you in the end jenni. Love is like ride a bicycle of course you trip and fall but eventually you will reach your destination if you willing to learn form your mistake and have faith in it.
Love can make you blind sometime, but it there to follow your heart and fallin to the unknown. Dont let hate misguide you or you might realize it to late...
|
|
|
Post by palaver on Jun 26, 2009 9:07:51 GMT -5
The first time you ever thought that you could truly love another human being, the very thought of the person could make you smile, cry and laugh all emotion roll into one. At what age did you start to do this? I think the first experience with love is incremental--like boiling a frog in water. First the affection heats up. We don't know we're in love yet. Then comes the boil and the torment. Some jump out--to live and run another day. Others stay in and boil their emotions to a tender pulp. Later they reminisce about the rawness of their youth and the freshness of their love, while those who escaped intact are cooked slowly through their subsequent relationships. Maybe the first love was different in another way in that it was just between two people...
|
|
|
Post by admin on Jun 26, 2009 9:17:17 GMT -5
Love is like ride a bicycle of course you trip and fall but eventually you will reach your destination if you willing to learn form your mistake and have faith in it. \ Some times it's not so simple as that...
|
|
|
Post by jenbrook on Jun 26, 2009 9:29:06 GMT -5
^ But how can love found you if you dont give love a chance. You close all door to all emotion, to this it might consume you in the end jenni. Love is like ride a bicycle of course you trip and fall but eventually you will reach your destination if you willing to learn form your mistake and have faith in it. Love can make you blind sometime, but it there to follow your heart and fallin to the unknown. Dont let hate misguide you or you might realize it to late... Hah. Yea, i've given it like 20 chances, each sucked a$$ and left me compromised.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Jun 26, 2009 9:50:43 GMT -5
feiHeh, thinking about your ex all of a sudden? Ne ways, me and my first broke up after 2 years due to a forced departure, nothing we could to do to change the circumstances at that time, we both lived rather dangerous lives in our youth. Nonetheless I know what you mean - for years I compared every single girl to my first. It was heartbreaking and difficult to get over since we did not break up on bad terms. That's the hardest type of breakup in my opinion. You CAN'T hate your ex, you can't hate anyone. Future breakups with exs I experienced I got over pretty quick; anger, disappointment, hate - all worked to my benefit to balance things up and move on with life. But for my first, I couldn't do that. Heh No one compared, and I made many of my exs insecure feeling that they just 'weren't good enough'. Many tried very hard to get me over her, one even said to me 'she's like a GHOST!' ;D Didn't work, and I thought I'll never get over my ex. And it wasn't something that I could achieve internally. So the girl-hopping continued until over 3 years ago when I met the most incredibly confident woman in my life. Not only did me and her click so perfectly becoming best mates within a matter of weeks, but she had qualities which although were not the same as my ex - were better. Furthermore she had no interest in entertaining my feelings for my ex, and had a proud attitude about her own individual self - she didn't care about my standards at all, she just wanted to be her. Eventually, all feelings of my exs including my first were flushed. Happened to me, it'll prolly happen to you too Fei. Plenty of women out there, one of 'em is bound to blow your mind away unexpectedly.
|
|
fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
|
Post by fei on Jun 27, 2009 6:06:38 GMT -5
The first love always be the one who get away..
@palaver, first love dont come with age, you could be 5 or 50 to falling in love in the first place..
@putts, ouch that look pain. Well there a saying love hurt.
@jenni, Edison Thomas tried thousand times before he manage to get the light bulb to light! In his word "Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration". Even if you tried 99 time in love but finally get that one on true love. Dont you think that worth it?
@sub, We all have been there before, no one can replace their first love. I feel so bless to had her at all, when the day came to let go, i told her that i happy to known her. Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future but today is a gift which we all call the present... Im not poet nor a writer but i just a guy who looking for his princess to call his queen but so far been kisses alot of toad along the way..
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Jun 27, 2009 8:14:14 GMT -5
Heh there's no rush mate, try to enjoy your time being young and single, don't grow up too fast. Cause sometimes that comes with a lot of stress, especially when the baby bells ring.
|
|
|
Post by palaver on Jun 27, 2009 9:32:19 GMT -5
@palaver, first love dont come with age, you could be 5 or 50 to falling in love in the first place.. Are you still talking about romantic love? 5 years old is kinda young. Intellectual development is still in the Preoperational Period. Even at the age of 30, the emotional maturity of men in terms of white matter is still at the stage of an 18 year old girl. 50? Some men take longer and they go through (and go back to) relationships that they thought had love. Have you read Memories of My Melancholy Whores by Gabriel García Márquez?
|
|
fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
|
Post by fei on Jun 28, 2009 6:42:24 GMT -5
Sorry i haven't read it yet. Well we were discuses about first love. If at first sight, love does make such a deep impression on a person that she/he awakens the ideal, then ordinarily the actuality is especially desirable, no matter how experienced a person is he/she usually is rather overwhelmed.
First love is innocence feeling that nothing in this world could match it. Maybe i delude or hopeless romantic in love? Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people,events, reality, which cannot match their youthful idea of love. I long for romance spiritual communion and love reflects to my fantasy.In a world of disenchantment and baseness,there is limitless power in following the path of the love.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Jun 28, 2009 7:19:27 GMT -5
Haha, my youthful innocent feelings about love were swiftly wiped out within weeks by my first who thought of my romantic advances as way too overwhelming. Heh, I wouldn't say that's a bad thing, kinda a 'pull back down to earth' thing. That's what you get when you end up with a tough chick as your first.
However, I wouldn't say I've completely lost that romantic side of me despite the rather painful 'wake up' sessions imposed by my first during the early stages of the relationship. But I've learnt to make such advances much smoother and much better timed in the future. Youthful love isn't all that great, it can be rather selfish as well since the intensity of the feelings can drive you to some rather 'clingy' behaviors in total disregard of your partner's standing.
Doesn't mean that out of the blue that you can't be romantic when time calls for it. Just means there has to be balance. Still remember once when me and my wife were just going out and we missed each other so much, I couldn't resist sweeping her off her feet as soon as I saw her. Passion and intimacy is a plus, but not when it's overdone, and you can't always expect everyday to be perfect.
Youthful love is exciting and an interesting experience, but hoping for such to occur again, you'll be missing out on a whole new level of spiritual communion. But that's just my experience. I have to say however, with my first I mostly aimed to please just myself, making myself happy, making sure my feelings are not harmed and making sure my desires are forfilled.
Now with my wife, it's all about pleasing her, taking care of her, keeping her happy, making sure her feelings are not harmed and forfill her desires. It goes both ways. As the saying goes; "Love isn't about 50/50%, it's about 100/100%"
|
|
|
Post by Paddy on Jun 28, 2009 7:50:31 GMT -5
I was crazy about my first girl. With hindsight, so much of it was lust, but it really was something else. I thought about her all the time; the pounding chest; the excitement of anticipating our next meeting.
We ended up going to different universities. She had fallen in with a new group of friends and had met a new guy. I didn't know this at the time. She wanted to split, but didn't have the courage to say it. She had to persuade me to do the deed. That was the hardest thing ever - to initiate the end of a relationship that you want to keep.
Many years later, she married the guy she had met at that time. I went to the wedding. I was the only person there from her school days - no one knew me. No one knew that she'd been my girl before he took her. The pics were dated and they showed clearly that she had cheated on me. I stood at the back of the room and mused. I wasn't upset at this revelation, but my love for her properly died as I realised the true depth of her cowardice at making me break up with her.
fei, you are such a hopeless romantic.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Jun 28, 2009 8:05:51 GMT -5
LOL! Finally someone said it haha I've been restraining myself thus far! So thank you!
|
|
fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
|
Post by fei on Jun 28, 2009 8:28:51 GMT -5
HAHA.Maybe i am. Love is the best gift to give someone.Always to be able to freely love the one whom one loves! To spend my life at ones heart like our last days together. To protect against imaginary satyrs so that I can be the only one to throw you on enchanted world of immortals. Make no sense to others but it so clear to both of us.. Trap in our own perfect world...
|
|