Kush
Junior Member
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Posts: 153
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Post by Kush on Jul 17, 2009 21:20:10 GMT -5
I'm sick of seeing girls' eyes light up after they find out I'm half, then become more interested in talking to me. Since I'm more Asian looking, I'm sure I'm just another asexual chinaman to them before they find out my ethnicity. So shallow. When I see this happen I'll often clam up with one word responses and look for someone else to talk to. Then they just think I'm an a**hole. Doesn't bother me. I'm not there for them to indulge in whatever ridiculous media-bred fantasies and race based sexual conquests they got going on in their head. Something like 2/5 people on average spot I'm half. Gah, that sounds creepy as hell. What makes me uncomfortable is do they value EAs purely because we're part white, so as soon as a white guy enters the room we've been "topped"? On the flipside, same with white people valuing EAs because purely they're part Asian, I can't imagine that helps the whole "I like Asian girls" situation. Or is it that they think we are the "best of both worlds" culturally and feature-wise? I really hope it's the latter.
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Post by LaFace on Jul 17, 2009 21:29:52 GMT -5
Just take the compliment and move on.
A compliment on your looks is going to be superficial in nature anyway, so I honestly don't see the big deal in this.
If someone said you were physically attractive upon meeting them, is that really any better/different from being considered physically attractive and then upon finding out that you are EA, them observing a trend? Keep in mind that there are a lot of people around the world who don't get any compliments whatsoever.
Let's be real - people are more of the mindframe that they've seen another person who in their opinion is good-looking and then happens to be EA, rather than is good-looking purely because they are EA. I have no doubt that everyone has seen an EA that they themselves consider to be physically unattractive.
Some of the mental anguish caused in this thread is really unnecessary in my opinion.
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Post by ahliang on Jul 18, 2009 12:52:40 GMT -5
^could NOT agree more...my thoughts exactly. along with what Jen said earlier... a compliment about one s looks is superficial in nature...if i can understand that someone referring you to something "exotic" can irk you to some degree (now when i m referred to "exotic," i see myself as a pineapple with eyelashes, a pink bow and sunglasses...quite cute...a coconut would sum me up better but i sure don t mind being a pineapple sipping a sling anymore ), why the need to dissect the meaning of something meant to be and obviously superficial in the first place? in fact it s starting to bug me more that people would complain about being complimented rather than just accept the compliment whether or not it leads to the flatterer mentioning you re EA...which as mentioned above, if you weren t attractive in the first place they wouldn t even mention. it s so tiring to be gorgeous and constantly complimented ^that s sort of what it looks like from the thread title although the post contents are thankfully not as vain and some are legitimate complaints.
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Post by Groink on Jul 18, 2009 13:38:17 GMT -5
While I generally agree with the attitude of "take the compliment and move on", let me play devil's advocate for a minute.
Say, for instance, you replace "good looks" with "wealth" and you replace "EA" with "Jew". I think most people would agree you are looking at situation where that is NOT an okay statement to make.
I think pandaroo's contention with the compliment is that it is tied to race. A compliment like that is paid to your RACE on behalf of you. Which is sucky. YOU own the good looks. You should be the receiver of the compliment outright.
It's a stereotype. I don't think stereotypes are inherently evil, but they should be applied judiciously. And perhaps kept to youself.
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Post by jefe on Jul 18, 2009 14:38:50 GMT -5
it s so tiring to be gorgeous and constantly complimented I wonder if Brad Pitt is tired of this.
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Post by jefe on Jul 18, 2009 14:42:31 GMT -5
What I hear tied to the EA factor even more than looks is intelligence -- EAs are so much SMARTER than the rest of us, esp. from Chinese people. White people seem to tend to use the "Best of Both Worlds" argument more than "smarter".
What gets me is that the EAs are so much smarter, but they can never attain a good understanding of Chinese language and culture. I guess they are very DUMB at some things (I think this applies to other Asian ethnicities also, eg, Japanese, etc.).
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Post by D.A on Jul 18, 2009 22:19:18 GMT -5
Earth to EANation, Brint doesn't seem to have a problem being compllmented for being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking. Maybe a good dose of orange mocha frappucino's will cheer you all up.
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Post by Kalvien on Jul 19, 2009 8:41:39 GMT -5
not really, but I found the eurasian beauty myth distrubing. "you're ugly, how can you call yourself eurasian", well things like these make most of 3rd generation of indo people afraid to accept their mixed heritage. The eurasian beauty myth have brainwashed many people that if they dont look mixed, exotic, or now showing feature of caucasian-asian in their body, they aren't worthy to be called eurasian. This is a very-very sad indeed. They deny their heritage because... myth constructed by media.
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Post by xandra on Jul 20, 2009 18:32:25 GMT -5
I feel like I've heard that mostly from asians, and a few asian girls have said they want to have beautiful mixed babies, which just kind of creeps me out for various reasons.
A few white guys were also of the "raise their eyebrows in excitement" variety when they found out I was mixed, which is telling.
I guess it's strange to be complimented on something you have no control over (although it happens all the time) and especially when it's tied to something like race. It gives you a sense of how people rank races in their mind, and it's uncomfortable to be associated with that.
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MrDimplez
Full Member
"Cook woman!!"
Posts: 282
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Post by MrDimplez on Jul 20, 2009 23:27:00 GMT -5
I find that in general, people are not that fussed about mixed Asians. There is in fact a stereotype out for Eurasian people, like with most stereotypes there are some truth to it.
"Eurasians are either extremely good looking (the combination of western and eastern features is symmetrical and compliments their face) or really ugly and alien looking ( disproportional facial features which overall doesn't falls in as Asian or Caucasian)."
My wife suggests that because of her Italian background and my French \ Vietnamese, when we have kids, our kids could fall on either angle and that concerns her. Though as long as they are healthy and bright I'm sure they will fit into society nicely.
I personally find it that Latin and Europeans receive more compliments then any other race.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2009 3:30:46 GMT -5
can't say that I've ever been complimented for being EA... closest thing was that somebody told me that I was lucky to be half Japanese because I must get to eat Sushi everyday.....
I used to get asked a lot about my ethnicity when I had lighter colored hair but now that I've dyed my hair black I think people just assume I'm a full blooded Asian.Most people seem surprised that I speak English even.
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Kush
Junior Member
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Posts: 153
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Post by Kush on Jul 22, 2009 18:52:02 GMT -5
"Eurasians are either extremely good looking (the combination of western and eastern features is symmetrical and compliments their face) or really ugly and alien looking ( disproportional facial features which overall doesn't falls in as Asian or Caucasian)." Eh, I'd doubt the truth in that. I've seen a lot of alright looking EA women. I can't call it for the men however.
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tompo
New Member
Posts: 9
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Post by tompo on Jul 24, 2009 3:25:54 GMT -5
The funny thing I've noticed about alot of postings on this board is the assertion that EAs tend to be "intelligent". In my experience, this is generally the case. Surely this must be a genetics thing.
With regards to looks, having lived in both Malaysia and Australia in equal amounts, I can definitely say that I get more attention in Malaysia (Sabah). People in Sabah (many of whom have not seen a whole great deal of white people in the flesh) constantly stare at you, and when you speak the local language, they are amazed. I spent years growing up with that and I can tell you I got tired of it. To them, I looked pure white and the fact that I had the Sabahan link was probably even more crazy for them to understand.
On the other hand in Oz, people generally don't care because Australia is such a multicultural country. I do get asked quite often what I am - sometimes people hazard guesses that I am Argentinian, Maori, Japanese and everything in between - but generally people don't say I'm good looking BECAUSE I'm Eurasian.
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Post by Subuatai on Jul 24, 2009 9:09:03 GMT -5
Interesting, personally I found Australian ethnics tend to live apart from each other with set territories, at least in Sydney I've noticed. Unfortunately racial insecurity is still active in the minds of many Aussies. It's no Eurasian utopia.
However Aussies at ages 30+ with families are quite good people. A lot of my negative impressions of Anglo people came from the younger punks. I had to lose my whole circle of mates to gain a new one. But I'm glad, race was never mentioned when they held my baby girl, that means a lot to me.
I appreciate it when people see my daughter as a human being, not this race or that race, and I despise people who judge an individual especially my baby girl due to her heritage. I know some of all the stereotypes are compliments or jokes, but for some reason I've grown quite sensitive to it recently. I don't want identities pinned on my daughter, I want my daughter to have her own individual identity like my wife.
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Yingy
Junior Member
Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
Posts: 77
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Post by Yingy on Jul 24, 2009 17:45:13 GMT -5
^ reminded me how uncomfortable it makes me when people keep bringing up race with my son. "Oh he's so cute because he's mixed, all mixed kids are cuties, going to brake the girls hearts" etc Was at the salon and the shampoo girl just kept going on and on about how gorgeous my eyes are and about me being mixed and asked if my son looked mix and if he has my eyes because it would be a shame if he didn't have my asian almond shaped eyes, etc and I didn't say anything because after all she was messing with my hair, didn't want to open up my big mouth and end up with green hair. And yesterday a friend was going on and on about how cute my son is because he is mixed and how good it is for him to be mixed and I realized I had a couple of friends mention this a lot and it makes me so uncomfortable because I don't want to turn what they think is a compliment to me putting them down for thinking if they mated with another ethnic person they would have super cute babies. I cringed when a close friend out of the blue said she wanted to have a baby with a Egputain man because she thinks asian and egyptian mix come out really attractive. I mean really your whole idea of wanting kids is to make sure they are mix and cute.... sigh.... it's a baby not a build a bear doll. Overall I find most kids cute, don't think about because he/she is extra cute because they are mixed... I just don't get it. And you know what there are a lot of not so cute kids out there to that's right I said it, no baby with a unibrow is gonna get awwwwws maybe sad awwwws but no cooing awws
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