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Post by EAgent on Dec 7, 2009 11:28:54 GMT -5
That's all kinda obvious. Most women want a man who is more experienced than her so she will always go for an older guy. An older guy either can't get a woman his own age or older or he is intimidated by women his own age because he feels he is not up to par in experience. Heh... this describes me. I remember a quote, can't remember by who: - an 18 year-old is impressed if you drive a car. - a 28 year-old is impressed by the car you drive.
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celltocell
Full Member
get your blood moving
Posts: 218
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Post by celltocell on Dec 7, 2009 14:22:20 GMT -5
My guy [Dante] is a marketer. He's already graduated college and everything, has his own place.. blah blah. So you are absolutely right - we are at different stages in our lives... I'm not even near graduating yet and I still basically bunk at home with my parents so I can save money. Personality-wise... older dudes [not all] just seem way more relaxed and not as dramatic. Dante still plays videogames though... he's got a dorky kid in him and I find it incredibly endearing. It all balances out, you'd just have to see us together and know us both individually to really understand that our age gap, somehow, is not an issue? Logically when you think about it, this is not supposed to work out. Somehow it is working out...? I wouldn't say I am mature in ALL aspects but as a whole, I have been told that I do come off older...I take that as a surprise / compliment. Not gonna lie! Definitely not perfect - I can still act childish at times. For the most part, I don't let things bother me enough to react anymore. Not to worry about still considering yourself "rather immature"... everyone's been through different "stuff" and "experiences"... sometimes sh/t happens and it just MAKES you "grow up" whether you want to or not. My best friend growing up was 3 years older than me. And HER friends were always 1 or 2 years older than her..and I would hang with them... so that's just me. I always befriended older kids / people. Found out about a lot of stuff I shouldn't have at a much younger age. While my classmates we're all talking about Barney and unicorns.. I was thinking about how peens went into vagina holes and being totally grossed out. Also, I'm not quite sure what date you posted this msg but HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY OR HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR HAPPY UPCOMING BIRTHDAY!Wow, you must be really mature then. 21 and 30. That's a big difference. Not because nine years is a lot but because those two ages are very different. The average 21 year old has almost nothing in common with the average 30 year old. That's inexperienced college student vs. marriage-age professional is what we're talking for most people. So yeah, props to you on being that mature at this age. I'm turning 21 next week and I still consider myself rather immature.
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celltocell
Full Member
get your blood moving
Posts: 218
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Post by celltocell on Dec 7, 2009 14:27:42 GMT -5
That may change over-time. Just wait til you get older. But please don't be a Hugh Heffner. It may be legal but it's still disgusting. Spend less time in relationships and pursuing them, spend more time developing yourself and chasing your dreams. Still can't imagine myself dating a younger girl either way.
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celltocell
Full Member
get your blood moving
Posts: 218
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Post by celltocell on Dec 7, 2009 14:43:23 GMT -5
Yeah I'm not too concerned with getting plastered. It's not exactly something I set out to do whenever I go out 99% of the time... I pretty much just drink socially now. I'm not much of a club person either or at all to be frank... already got that outta my system when I was in high school just because it was better than being a mallrat or hangin' outside of CVS. Give me a show/band or a bar with a kicka/ss jukebox over a flashy club anyday. I'm set. You're right about having similar interests... we both do not want to have children or care all that much for marriage. Music is a huge deal to me but my man is probably only 20% compatible with me and it bums me out, not gonna lie. He makes it up with his other hobbies and interests though. Him being into photography = major turn on. And the fact that he takes AMAZING photographs. Gee whiz. ::fans self:: Made me think of my parents - Dad was a long in the tooth grad student and mom a first-year undergrad when they met at Cambridge. 4 years later and I came along. I think it was more a case of my mom being really mature beyond her years - she had no interest in hard drinking, drugs, and partying and was probably attracted to his maturity (versus the average 18 year old Cambridge lad) as well as his intelligence. And I don't think he would have gone for her if she wasn't so studious and professorly already at that age. I also think it's hard to come up with a single measure of maturity. I think having compatible interests is the main thing - the problem with most older women is that they are interested in different things (like having kids and a family, homeownership, dinner parties, careers) and the problem with most younger women is that they are interested in different things (dressing up and going out to clubs, binge-drinking, watching stupid tv shows). Obviously no one needs a bf/gf (or should feel like they need one). In fact, no one really needs friends or family either, but as Phil said, having love in your life can only be a good thing.
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Post by LaFace on Dec 8, 2009 3:51:32 GMT -5
That may change over-time. Just wait til you get older. But please don't be a Hugh Heffner. It may be legal but it's still disgusting. Still can't imagine myself dating a younger girl either way. I highly doubt this and can't see it changing any time soon. I was completely turned off by significant age gaps in high school (eg year 12 with a year 9), and am even more so now because of what a lot of girls my age (let alone younger) are like. lol - hef Heh... this describes me. I remember a quote, can't remember by who: - an 18 year-old is impressed if you drive a car. - a 28 year-old is impressed by the car you drive. Can't stand girls that deep down radiate the phrase, "money make the man". "Man make the money", on the other hand, is different. Sadly, the overwhelming majority seem to fit the former mindframe.
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Post by jenbrook on Dec 9, 2009 15:15:51 GMT -5
Woah, the overwhelming majority of females are gold diggers? Well my my that is depressing.. and surprising! I only know a handful of girls who are totally and completely obsessed with men only for their money.. And these are girls you would find at an exclusive nightclub or a fancy ass bar. Methinks you take hip hop a little TOO literally . Its a common generalization and one that comes from a culture where women are oppressed, oversexualized and poverty is widespread. ITs just something that is bound to happen.. Hell most guys are MUCH more obsessed with the acquisition of wealth, society has just set women up so that we have the option of losing our dignity and taking the easy route. Now, faced with tough times, which would you take.. the hard bumpy road or the easy smooth one? Its not something i'd personally do but i can understand it. But back to the main point, i think that in a middle class western society.. saying that the overwhelming majority are gold diggers is a tad assumptive and a little, shall i say.. sexist?
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Post by admin on Dec 9, 2009 15:42:25 GMT -5
I'm probably going to say something controversial but to enlighten you most guys think that younger girls are easier to f**k and dump, simple as that, that or they really lack confidence. I'm not talking about myself since I've only dated girls around the same age or just a bit younger/older. I think if you talk to most attractive guys, 20-30 years old, they will tell you that the easiest marks are the 35+ year old cougars, not the younger girls. Also, I agree with ^ HSBC: the overwhelming majority of women I know are *not* gold diggers. The company you keep, perhaps.
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palavore
Full Member
I put my pants on just like the rest of you -- one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold posts.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Posts: 298
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Post by palavore on Dec 9, 2009 16:22:10 GMT -5
I think if you talk to most attractive guys, 20-30 years old, they will tell you that the easiest marks are the 35+ year old cougars, not the younger girls. Also, I agree with ^ HSBC: the overwhelming majority of women I know are *not* gold diggers. The company you keep, perhaps. I'll have to agree on both points. Only because digging for gold is more of a rank than an occupation. People usually dig for lesser metals before working their way up to gold. A courtesan starts out with lesser nobles before arriving in the imperial court. They might fall in love on the way, but they are usually painful lessons. People are diggers--just not all at the level of gold. They can dig for drugs, alcohol, and vacations. That is a different quality of metal, but they sustain an illusion the same way money does. Recently, this girl I knew "got in" with this sweet talking middle aged man. She really wasn't the victim here, but we knew him as a broke and washed up old man. He "knew" people from his many failures and so could spin the illusion of status. He's probably using her money right now. Sometimes, "player's get played". Then I saw this movie, and laughed at its timing:
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Post by Emily on Dec 11, 2009 21:24:26 GMT -5
Message to all you horny teenagers and early 20s peepz: Spend less time in relationships and pursuing them, spend more time developing yourself and chasing your dreams. Then grow old and be miserable like me because you're surrounded by people who did precisely the opposite heh.(So I'm with LaFace on this one) You know, I'm starting to think that unfortunately while not irreconcilable, developing oneself/chasing one's dream and chasing one's dreams can be hard to balance. I see many girls in my field of study who are ambitious and know what they want, but simply don't have the time for a boyfriend. As for myself, I find myself increasingly devoting more time to what I wish to achieve, and it's been known to encroach on quality time with my boyfriend. I must say, like Ahliang, that the companionship I do cherish, especially in times of stress. So, no, I don't think I "need" a boyfriend, but I ultimately see my boyfriend as support in helping me achieve what I want.
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Post by milkman's baby on Dec 11, 2009 23:32:58 GMT -5
Woah, the overwhelming majority of females are gold diggers? Well my my that is depressing.. and surprising! I only know a handful of girls who are totally and completely obsessed with men only for their money.. And these are girls you would find at an exclusive nightclub or a fancy ass bar. Methinks you take hip hop a little TOO literally . Its a common generalization and one that comes from a culture where women are oppressed, oversexualized and poverty is widespread. ITs just something that is bound to happen.. Hell most guys are MUCH more obsessed with the acquisition of wealth, society has just set women up so that we have the option of losing our dignity and taking the easy route. Now, faced with tough times, which would you take.. the hard bumpy road or the easy smooth one? Its not something i'd personally do but i can understand it. But back to the main point, i think that in a middle class western society.. saying that the overwhelming majority are gold diggers is a tad assumptive and a little, shall i say.. sexist? Most middle and upper class women are not gold diggers in the sense of wanting to marry a man who can give them diamonds and gold necklaces, but they still care about the man's money. Thing is, most women don't want a man that she has to take care of - one that has trouble paying the bills or helping to feed their child. And it's still not socially acceptable for a woman to marry below her socioeconomic class this day in age, so sometimes a rich girl just needs a rich boy to make her parents happy. Not so much to do with what the guy can buy her, but it's still money-conscious. I don't know if you'd call that gold-digging or not. I am most definitely not a golddigger nor do I really care much about a man's money, but I don't have anything against women who do. Way I see it is, if a man can reject a woman based off her physical looks it's only fair game for a woman to reject a man cuz he ain't got the dough. Or vice versa. Shallow for the shallow. Doesn't apply to me, so I don't care.
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Post by rob on Dec 12, 2009 10:33:50 GMT -5
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Post by Phil on Dec 12, 2009 14:21:38 GMT -5
^ I love it!
Great way to make your 1000th post if this was it.
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Post by Ganbare! on Dec 14, 2009 15:25:14 GMT -5
I used to think I would never be emotionally dependant on someone else but now that I find myself browsing my girlfriend's facebook photos to get some news from her since I left for overseas. I realize how insipid my life would be without her...
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Post by milkman's baby on Dec 14, 2009 20:10:29 GMT -5
this is starting to get sappy
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Post by rob on Dec 15, 2009 10:22:28 GMT -5
^ I love it! Great way to make your 1000th post if this was it. glad u like it Phil! and yes it was my 1000th but not by design. I think it encapsulates my view on this topic..... in that we should try to be complete people before we commit to a serious relationship.... because it's only when we're complete (or able to 'roll' on our own) that we know our perfect match and love from a position of strength. We love stronger, more passionately and more constantly when we are complete people. A half-formed person (e.g., most 22yr olds and under, esp those not financially independent) that claims to be in love, or needs to be in-love, is often deluded .... their capacity to truly love is weak and often their love (while overwhelming and avowedly 'true' to the person experiencing it) is actually naive, borne of insecurity/convenience/mutual overexposure, frail and/or fleeting. I can't tell you how many people hook-up with their "soulmates" when they're 16-22..... and only realize when they're 28 that they made the wrong choice and that they're twice the person they were back then with completely different needs/wants. I'm of the view we should just be with one person so if you ascribe to the relationship school of trial-and-error (date people your whole life until you find the right one, everything I've said is moot). I'm the last person to be lecturing ppl on this topic, so i'll stop. Bloody Debussy in the background making me post crap. My only point was to say I think Shel Silverstein summed it up beautifully I used to think I would never be emotionally dependant on someone else but now that I find myself browsing my girlfriend's facebook photos to get some news from her since I left for overseas. I realize how insipid my life would be without her... haha..... very sweet. Hope you guys can manage the distance ...and PM me her name/address so i can tell her about the war crimes you're committing and try to mack on her while you're gone
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