How do you deal with racism?

[Magic]

Hello everyone, I'm new on this board.

From what I read a lot of us face serious racism so I thought to myself "how should I deal with it ?" Do you try to educate the misguided person or just stay in silent fury? I heard there are certain ways not to be affected by discrimation anymore, know any?

Thanks for your input.

[Ganbare!]

I've sometimes dreamt of moving to places with little racism like Hawaii but I would have to sacrifice too much just to attain that.

[FreckleFoot]

This is a difficult question to answer. I have experienced a lot of racism throughout my life. Particularly when I was in school. I experienced everything from verbal harassment to physical attacks. Some were obviously racially motivated, others may not have been but there was no other reason to attack me other than because of the way I looked.

I tried everything to stop it: talking to my friends, parents and teachers; talking back to the attackers; physically retaliating; ignoring them completely. Nothing made them stop. Eventually it got to the point that when someone came up and hit me so hard I fell over, I just got up and carried on walking because there was nothing I could say or do to get this person brought to justice or to prevent it from reoccurring. What was the point of reacting if it never achieved anything? When you're faced with such situations there is no choice but to deal with it in whatever way that may be. My way ended up being internalising everything as I had exhausted all other avenues.

I do not think that educating people will help if they are shouting insults or physically attacking you. Ignorant people cannot learn unless they open their minds to the fact that they have something to learn. You cannot teach people who are unwilling to accept that they are wrong. If their beliefs are strong enough, no amount of evidence will convince them otherwise. In their heads, the world should bend to their views and opinions, not the other way around.

I have read theories from psychologists claiming that the victim is to blame because they make themselves a victim and that the key is to laugh with your attackers, treat everything like a joke and don't get bothered. While I think this can work to a certain extent, I doubt it would have made a difference when I was being showered with stones. Then again, it never worked in the beginning when it was simple teasing and I did laugh with them... if it had, it would never have escalated to that point.

[catgirl]

Sometimes I just disagree with them...Other times I cant be bothered.

I mean, whats the point if they have a strong oppinion? Just let them be with their own misery

Some things cant be learnt by conversation, but must be experienced by one self and they need to make an own oppinion from it. One has to really get the bigger picture to understand it completely!

[Magic]

I feel for you, such a shame for a woman to be the victim of racially motivated physical assaults. Avoiding inherently racist places like rural villages or suburban towns can definitely alleviate the issue but that's not exactly an universal solution.

[FreckleFoot]

I was living in a city at the time. Unfortunately, racism can be anywhere.

[danyc]

I deal with it every day of my life. I do not exagerate.

I have, like FreckleFoot, tried: ignoring it, talking to people, rationalizing it, laughing along etc and so on. I am 48 years old, I have lived through some very bad things and I find the only way I can deal with it without turning bitter and mean (tried that too and it isn't for me) is to stay focused on the people in my life I love and my spiritualality.

[Ganbare!]

There's no denying racism is widespread but sometimes I wonder if we don't victimize ourselves or justify aggressions everybody come to face with systematic discrimination. Coming from a low social status background from a dysfunctional family and certainly because of my rebellious temperament, I somewhat developped over the years an inferiority complex towards the majority population.

Don't get me wrong I got my fair share of unmistakable racism or White/identitarian supremacy speeches (particularly during law school) nonetheless I'm pretty sure some rejection I've experienced and associated with biggotry had nothing to do with discrimination where objective/subjective criteria like my personality or profile were responsible of.

[japonesa]

"psychologists claiming that the victim is to blame"
"I wonder if we don't victimize ourselves"

..but seriously do you both believe that? "psychologists claiming that the victim is to blame" - froid claims women are jealous of men because of penis envy and in the past many of them made their fame by claiming women weren't as intelligent as men. I think they'll say whatever they believe people want to hear because some people are dumb enough to believe it so these statements about making a joke out of it need to be disregarded.. how can you laugh at ignorance, racism, prejudice, lothing etc these types of things obviously aren't a joke and by making them a joke wouldn't you be sending the signal that it's ok to make these types of comments?


"I wonder if we don't victimize ourselves" perhaps sometimes but wouldn't the reason we may sometimes be 'over paranoid' stem from multiple experiences of past racism? therefore if anyones to blame surely it wouldn't be us and then again you could say the same thing for anyone.. if a woman applied for a job and a man was chosen she may think it's sexism where as he might have a phd whilst she only has a ba.

[FreckleFoot]

Japonesa, I think I made it clear in my first post that I don't believe it:

I have read theories from psychologists claiming that the victim is to blame because they make themselves a victim... While I think this can work to a certain extent, I doubt it would have made a difference when I was being showered with stones. Then again, it never worked in the beginning when it was simple teasing and I did laugh with them... if it had, it would never have escalated to that point.

As I said, acting as if it's a fun joke wouldn't have made a difference when I was being attacked and laughing earlier on when the actions were less harmful did not prevent it from developing into physical violence.

[japonesa]

yea i know you did i kind of just wanted to put it out there as a response to Ganbare because the do we victimize ourselfs seemed like a similar type of comment

[palavore]

Speaking of how individuals deal with racism, how do groups deal with racism?

It's like abuse. Sometimes victims become the victimizer--like how all these late European immigrants in the U.S., like the Irish, Italians, and Eastern Europeans are suddenly part of the "in crowd" and are critical of other immigrants destroying the "cultural fabric" of the U.S. They forgot all the bad things that America's first illegal immigrants (Pilgrims) had said about their religion and their drinking.

This dialogue from the The Good Shephard encapsulates beautifully:

Palmi: Let me ask you something… we Italians, we got our families, and we got the church; the Irish they have the homeland; Jews, their tradition; even the niggas, they got their music. What about you people, Mr. Wilson, what do you have?

Wilson: The United States of America…and the rest of you are just visiting.

[japonesa]

haha i love th quote and i agree but what everyones forgotten is usa like australlia doesnt even belong to the 'whites' its native american land so really everyone has as much right to be there

[admin]

Mar 1, 2010 19:25:08 GMT -5 palavore said:

Speaking of how individuals deal with racism, how do groups deal with racism?

They decry their mistreatment as a minority until they are able to get enough power or assimilate so that they can find a minority to mistreat.

Can this cycle be changed with consciousness-raising, or as humans are we wired to behave so?

[Ganbare!]

Mar 1, 2010 12:06:00 GMT -5 japonesa said:

"psychologists claiming that the victim is to blame"
"I wonder if we don't victimize ourselves"

..but seriously do you both believe that? "psychologists claiming that the victim is to blame" - froid claims women are jealous of men because of penis envy and in the past many of them made their fame by claiming women weren't as intelligent as men. I think they'll say whatever they believe people want to hear because some people are dumb enough to believe it so these statements about making a joke out of it need to be disregarded.. how can you laugh at ignorance, racism, prejudice, lothing etc these types of things obviously aren't a joke and by making them a joke wouldn't you be sending the signal that it's ok to make these types of comments?


"I wonder if we don't victimize ourselves" perhaps sometimes but wouldn't the reason we may sometimes be 'over paranoid' stem from multiple experiences of past racism? therefore if anyones to blame surely it wouldn't be us and then again you could say the same thing for anyone.. if a woman applied for a job and a man was chosen she may think it's sexism where as he might have a phd whilst she only has a ba.

I wanted to avoid being the drama-queen but you provoked it. I was refused to a university based on nationality/racial criteria, I was shunned by my extended family due to being mixed. Back in my old hood, I was the target of a gang of delinquents because my mother founded a family with a man of another faith etc.

Now, I'd love to hear how you were more discriminated than me throughout your life. Race was behind all these particular events, yet I know a good deal of all the nasty things that have happened to me over the years weren't on racial grounds.

Thus, my statement of not overvictimizing ourselves. It's like being a 5 feet tall Asian and cry racism if you don't get in the NBA. Interpersonal relationships are based on much more than just race, perceived/actual age, social background, skills, physical build or personality... you get the point.