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Post by TeeHee on Oct 13, 2010 23:04:45 GMT -5
I think it would be hard to prove in a court of law as you would have to prove knowledge - i.e. there is proof the person had a positive test and received the results. In many places they actually go further and you have to prove INTENT - not just that you knew you were positive, but that you were deliberately trying to infect the other person. Of course that's even harder to prove, but that seems to be the case with many of the legal cases. In the case of the woman I mentioned about before, both of those were proved, as her then-husband's infidelity was confirmed when she went through his emails and saw numerous incriminating exchanges between him and other men, some of which the men talked about going to "bug-chasing" events together; moreover, some of these men were married themselves so obviously this woman wouldn't be the only case. The fact that you're going out "bug-chasing" in of itself means that you're going into it with the intention of contracting(or spreading) the disease. www.associatedcontent.com/article/13507/bug_chasing_why_some_men_want_to_become.html?cat=5en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BugchasingAnd of course, if he's still married to her and actively having sex with her, it would be extremely naive to think that the disease wouldn't get passed onto her. Transmission of HIV could either be tried in a civil or criminal court of law, depending on the state. It's not a crime in every state, so in those states where it's not a crime, it would be tried as a civil case, and as criminal in those states where it's considered a crime. In criminal cases, the state/government would pay restitution for damages, whereas whoever loses the case with civil court would have to pay. Sucks for her that she lived in a state where it wasn't a crime, because the judge "awarded" her $12.5 million, but she hasn't seen a penny of it since her ex-husband is broke(filed for bankruptcy). Had she actually gotten even a fraction of that amount, she'd at least be able to pay for her HIV-related healthcare expenses. |
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ChineseGhost
Junior Member
French Fried Frog Legs & Chopsticks
Posts: 195 
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Post by ChineseGhost on Oct 15, 2010 5:00:38 GMT -5
Holy merde !  |
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Post by admin on Oct 15, 2010 15:26:03 GMT -5
I do believe that Michael Vick was accused of:
Going to various clinics and registering as "Ron Mexico" to get diagnosed/treated for herpes
Spreading said disease to football groupie.
Getting sued by groupie.
Settling with groupie.
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Post by penguinopolipitese on Oct 25, 2010 3:35:07 GMT -5
well at least she's not a football groupie... no wait.
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Post by heisei on Nov 3, 2010 13:55:03 GMT -5
Though I am unwise when it comes to relationships, I wager the following: a relationship built on trust, love and communication will be the most structurally sound of all. Love may come and go, but the flame can be rekindled. Communication may come and go, but the lines can be fixed. Trust, however, is a binding contract. It begins the moment two people come together in an exclusive relationship, and it increases in value with each passing swing. When trust is violated (i.e. through an act of cheating), the contract is broken. Sure, the cracks can be mended and papered over, some structural engineer can be brought in and paid vast sums of money to give the foundation of "trust, love and communication" an all clear, but the history of the violation will always remain. And at some point it will seep through the walls. I don't believe in the adage "once a cheater always a cheater"... people are only human and they make mistakes. But I do believe that, so far as a relationship is concerned, once the trust is gone, it's gone. I totally agree. |
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Post by sim on Apr 3, 2011 0:28:48 GMT -5
Let's say you marry the love of your life...and then..sex just stops. Or you get it once a month. Yes, yes the one you are with should be your friend as well as your lover. It's not PC i guess to say that sex important. It's always about the "Friendship". In my experience...sex is very very important. In that case...stay friends. People who are asexual need companionship...yes. But don't seek it with another man or woman that wants and desires sexual intimacy. If I have to beg you to be with me, to touch me, to kiss me... and I don't get it... I will seek it somewhere else. "cheating" ain't ok in me book. But I concur, between the sheets activity is very important and throughout marriage. If the partner's not up to it, up to us to tickle'em, arouse 'em...  Before even considering "ok, he/she doesn't satify me, gotta look at the menu & place an order", keep comm. channels open. VERY very important in a couple.  Haha, I like the way you put it- 'placing an order'. |
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Post by sim on Apr 3, 2011 0:52:15 GMT -5
There's cheating as in violating the trust of exclusivity - that the common one we think of. There's another kind of cheating, though, which is what pushnpull experienced - that is, being cheated out of physical intimacy by a spouse who refuses to put out. Getting married means supporting your spouse in all kinds of ways. Certainly, attending to one of their two primary drives should qualify. Should anyone be cheated out of a lifetime of intimacy because they marry someone who decides to turn platonic? I don't think so. Your point that a person should divorce before cheating is valid, however, it should be noted that he 'cheated' her, if not ON her, first. How much of a marriage was there left to preserve, really? I don't mean this to be an exploration of her marriage, so, sorry, breaking it down to the generic...you need to take care of your spouse - emotionally, physically, financially, and in whatever new ways the heavens invent while you are married. I kind of agree with this. However, I also agree that you need to also take care of yourself and obviously lack of physical intimacy in a relaionship can be a sign of other things- perhaps not even related to the relationship in itself. It's also hard not to cross the line into being like brother and sister rather than bf/gf or husband/wife. However- there is nothing more important than always wanting the best for whoever you are with, and that should hopefully be reciprocated. Personally, I would hope (fingers crossed) that I would have the sense to look honestly at myself/the future consequences/the other person involved if there was ever a chance of cheating- and that's because I would never ever want that done to me. I do think some relationships can survive/become better after cheating (which can be a big blow on the head to show some people how much they DO love each other) but that takes probably a much better person that me- i.e. someone who can truly forgive and let go, and the person who cheated has to be able to be forgiven, and not feel guilt. I just don't think I would be a strong or good enough person to be able to do either- forgive if I had been cheated on, or let go of the guilt, if I were the cheater. As for cheating in a marriage and the effect it has on kids...oh boy. My ex's dad was a serial cheater, I believe (there are big suspicions of this). He had been with my ex's mum since they were in their teens. Anyway, his dad ended up cheating on his mum- with her best friend. My ex knew about it as one day he picked up the phone and the best friend thought it was his dad. He didn't say anything- what do you do in that situation, esp. if you are someone who supresses your feelings. So the dad ended up leaving the mum to run off and live with the best friend for 6 months. That eventually ends and he comes crawling back to the mum- who takes him back. The best friend's marriage is in shambles though and my ex was still good friends with the son of the best friend- which made it awkward. When asked why she stayed- or took him back, the mum basically said that she loved him for all he was, and at the end of the day she knew that he couldn't be faithful but that he would always come back to her. I don't know whether that was love- and accepting love- or if that was settling. I have a feeling it was the former, as she was easily a woman stong enough to be on her own. All I know is that my ex's twin ended up screaming at the dad and wouldn't speak to him for a long time when he left, for hurting her mum so much. My ex had issues with it but surpressed it and I think made him scared of real intimacy. He also ended up being the 'ear' for his dad- his dad would tell him about how much he loved his mother, but that he didn't like the fact that she was a happy homebody and he was not and how he didn't want the rest of his years slipping away in front of the TV etc. I think perhaps he was always thinking the grass was greener on the other side, and was so selfish he didn't truly understand or respect his wife for everything she had given him- and I think that it truly was accepting love. I think he was almost looking for a 'playmate'- the problem is that he may not have found someone who truly loved him in a playmate, hence why he would always end up back with my ex's mum. I think perhaps cheating was just in his blood, in a way, and perhaps he was a guy who should have just been on his own. I also think he didn't fully accept his wife for who she was- i.e. someone who was content to be at home, reading, or just being someone who didn't need to be the life and soul of every party (he more than made up for that anyway). In his case, he was lucky enough to be with someone who accepted his 'dalliances' but turned a blind eye to them in a way, because she knew he didn't love them the way he probably did her. I guess I saw how much effect it took on my ex, even though he never told his dad or his mum about it. He just pushed it away and ignored however he felt about it. Anyway- my point basically is- I would rather get out of the relationship- children and all- if it was truly truly at the end of the road. I don't think subjecting a kid to an unhappy marriage or a marriage which has resulted in cheating spouses is better than being separated/divorced. But I don't know- that's just what I think, I'm not a child of parents who were like that. |
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Post by helloagain on Apr 3, 2011 15:53:01 GMT -5
I don't believe in cheating. My parents never did, and they taught me it's wrong.
I should add that I don't judge others for doing it, they live their own lives. But to be honest, when their life intersects with mine, I am more cautious. I think that's wise. If you sever one relationship before continuing another, or are completely honest with all parties involved, imo.
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