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Post by pandaroo on Apr 9, 2010 7:57:44 GMT -5
In addition to perceiving myself as an ambiguous racial blend, I'm also very much a tomboy or at least a person with a dual-gender outlook. And I'm not referring to any form of trans-sexualism or bisexuality!
I'm a straight female but I do a lot of stereotypically male activities, behaviors, language and way of thinking and being. I ride a bike (not the pink kind with printed flowers and flared ribbons protruding from the handlebars, but a sturdy mountain bike).
I wear jeans and t-shirts and basketball shirts. I collect and paint warhammer, watch and enjoy science fiction horror, design tattoos, play the drums, listen to darker and heavier industrial-and rock music, and I ASK GUYS OUT. A lot of girly girls I meet don't like this about me, and want to convert me out of my tomboyish behaviour, thinking that it won't get me anywhere and will destroy my chances with men. This is why I have few female friends, in fact.
Some may relate to the experience of being a tomboy too. What can you say about your gender-specific behaviour?
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Post by Ganbare! on Apr 9, 2010 8:45:22 GMT -5
This trend is related to the overall male feminization. Boy-ish behavior does not particularly put me off, I play drums too and while I'd be great to have such conversations with my girlfriend, it does not hinder our relationship too much because we share other more 'universal' hobbies.
That said, I sometimes wish she was not so feminine but like most men I'm not attracted to tomboys because of looks. We've all been through this infamous moment at the movies: she wants to watch a corny love picture while the only reason you even left the sofa was to watch Kitano splatter blood onto the big screen!
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Post by pandaroo on Apr 9, 2010 9:19:33 GMT -5
The odd thing is that I've also got a lot about me that is equally feminine. I guess you could call me a chameleon. I can shift into girl mode after being in boy mode for months.
What I don't understand is whether I'm less desirable to the opposite sex when I am in my male-state, or not...?
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Post by Ganbare! on Apr 9, 2010 9:37:10 GMT -5
Some do enjoy it others don't, there is no definitive answer. Nevertheless, having a tomboy appearance is not going to work in your favour if you're on the market. Although it's obvious, females' most powerful asset is physical attractiveness while social status, wit and personality are still secondary to be viewed as desirable even if you happen to have them all. (I'm not talking about the actual success of relationships, it's more complex, just attractivity). If you want proof simply give a look to female professionals forced celibacy statistics.
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Post by pandaroo on Apr 9, 2010 9:48:56 GMT -5
I guess males who think the only main asset of a woman is her attractiveness, deserve my cold shoulder. Shallow pricks. Have no time for them.
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Post by admin on Apr 9, 2010 9:52:57 GMT -5
What can you say about your gender-specific behaviour? It's classic Male - sports, beer, funk, cars, unkempt. The only non-Male thing I think I do is watch Gossip Girl. One could argue that as being a male activity but that would derail the thread. The world is turning more and more corporate/generic. Food, music, movies, clothes, etc. -- people go for the safe, corporate pimped choices. One change is the speed at which something edgy/counterculture gets co-opted and sanitized for mass public consumption. 95% of guys will go after girls that they think (consciously or subconsciously) that their friends would also desire. This means looks as well as behavior. Any time you deviate from the cultural/media norm, you will be less appealing to the sheep. The flip side is that you will be more interesting to independent thinkers and hopefully you'll like one of them.
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Post by Ganbare! on Apr 9, 2010 10:04:09 GMT -5
Gossip Girl! I hope you don't tell people that in real life. ;D Putts is right about social conditioning but beyond that biology plays a colossal role in dictating what's desirable and what's not, that's just the way human beings are, personality and other criteria are important as well just not as fundamental. That said, judging from yours pics, I don't think you should have any trouble attracting loads of shallow pricks.
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palavore
Full Member
I put my pants on just like the rest of you -- one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold posts.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Posts: 298
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Post by palavore on Apr 9, 2010 15:29:49 GMT -5
Yes. More specifically, a lesbian-identified male.
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Post by betahat on Apr 9, 2010 17:08:13 GMT -5
I had a big crush on a very tomboyish EA girl about 7 years ago. She was really into science-fiction, fantasy, video games, etc. She was openly bisexual as well, though she ended up with some macho army guy (and apparently sewed him a grenade holder before he shipped off to Afghanistan). My highschool gf was also tomboyish in the same way (and must be one of the handful of women working in the comic industry). They both dressed pretty masculine, were comfortable around the guys, had few female friends, etc.
So that was definitely my type. Of course, my wife is the ultimate girly-girl - the one you ask "where can I get a good manicure?" or "where's a good place to buy a wedding dress?" I think a lot of guys really like the idea of a female version that shares all the same interests - and having some common interests is obviously important in any relationship - but chemistry and long-term compatibility depend on more than that too.
I really can't see it as a disadvantage to share a lot of male interests as far as meeting and attracting men, as long as you don't look like one. I don't think most guys will care if you never wear skirts or dresses, but really short hair (and maybe long sleeve plaid shirts all the time) might turn some guys off.
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maow
Full Member
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Post by maow on Apr 9, 2010 18:38:28 GMT -5
...and apparently sewed him a grenade holder before he shipped off to Afghanistan... Outstanding, I need to see a pic of this!
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Post by Ganbare! on Apr 9, 2010 22:45:35 GMT -5
By the way, I don't think it's fair to deem men as shallow creatures because most women are not any better. They claim that it's 'what's inside that counts' but they still long for handsome men thus going for macho jerks more often than not, it's human nature. You know the saying: Nice guys finish last.
It's hypocritical to claim the opposite because we're conditioned to be attracted to healthy and beautiful people, it's a genetic imperative for the perennity of our specie.
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tbw
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Post by tbw on Apr 10, 2010 9:18:52 GMT -5
My name is Tom and I am male......oh wait that is not what this thread is about On the 'Gossip Girl' topic - I don't watch it (hate the drama like that and everybody sleeping around) but I do have guy friends who watch it and its funny to see them get into in-depth conversations with other guys about it! There are less and less 'traditionally' male only orientated things nowadays. We are now far away from the idea that all girls/women should wear dresses and be picking daisies if not in the kitchen or laundry. I find that with alot of my grandparents generation, these ideals remain. Some of these ideals were passed to their baby-boomer children and some has passed to our generation and beyond, but its slowly growing thin. Pure equality between males and females is never going to be there, there are always somethings one can do that the other cannot (generally speaking, there are exceptions.) On the other hand, before you get to know someone the first impression counts alot. So if I a guy is looking for a relationship with a girl he will be spending the first 30sec (or more) looking at her physical characteristics - body shape, clothes, etc. And like putts said - if its within the social norm then the girl should be in a better position (in the guys eyes.) I'm not saying that this is right, but it just seems like the way it is. I have watched some of my friends clearly choose skirts over pants. I didn't see it being mentioned either, but just be yourself no matter what you like. If people don't like you for you, then they probably aren't beneficial for you as a person anyway.
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