Some Indian Tourists and Being in Chinatown

[thea]

Hi, Im back! Its been a while since I've posted a thread, but I've been busy with our growing family. We have an 8 year boy, 4 year old girl, 2 year old boy and a 1 year old boy.
Well, a few weeks ago I had an odd experience with some Indian tourists. It was a Sunday, and my husband and I had walked down to the San Francisco civic center with the kids on their bikes. The two older ones had recently gotten off training wheels. (Training wheels are useless, just get a balancing bike with no pedals for your toddlers, so they can develop their sense of balance and control. Our toddler has just started using the wooden Skuut bike.) I had the baby in the Ergo Carrier. We let the kids play in the 2 playgrounds in front of the Asian art museum and the library. It was a free day at the museum, so there were lots of visitors. I spent time in the library so the baby could crawl around on the carpet. At closing time I met my family at the playground and we started our journey home. My husband was ahead with the 2 older kids and I was with the younger one and the baby. As he pushed himself along, suddenly this Indian guy, comes near lowers himself close to my son, actually puts his hand on my child's bike to slop his forward momentum. He then asks his son who looks to be about 8 years old to stand near my son, so he could get a picture, he also trys to get his so to hold onto my kids bike, at an angle to create a contrived scene in which the older kid is catching the bike so as to look like he is preventing the bike from falling with an inexperienced toddler.
Throughout this whole episode, never once did the tourist acknowledge me, nor even ask for my permission if he could take a picture of my kid. He finished and so I continued walking, The tourist dad, with his kid, his wife, another male and female relative walked in the same direction. One of the women asked me how many kids I had and so I pointed them out. The two older kids rode back to me, and again the tourist guy had them pose with his kid, without asking if it was OK with me. After, I continued walking with the kids to my husband who was looking at an electric car. The tourists also walked in the same direction, and my husband struck up a conversation, mentioning cricket etc, I just asked where they were from in India. They were from Bangalore. They had one more picture with my family, and the 2 women, one guy, and the kid. I'm not sure if they really wanted me in the picture, but my husband had his arm around me. I just get the feeling that the guy taking the photo/video positioned his
camera so as to take the kids and my husband and not me.
Anyhow, I told my husband that it was weird, how the guy went about taking photos of our kids without asking first, and propping my toddler in a contrived scene. I was just reminded of how some tourists who travel to the rice terraces in the Philippines just take photos who the native tribes people, the Ifugao without even asking. Maybe some people do that to the natives of Taiwan. I think people even in the early part of the 20th century, who visited Indian reservations probably had the Indians pose, with artifacts in some contrived scene.
My husband just said, well our kids are "native" Americans/San Franciscans." Still I'm ambivalent, about it. I probably wouldn't have minded the photos being so contrived if the guy had asked for my permission, prior to taking the pictures.
What do you guys think?

San Francisco Chinatown. OK, I've been there lots of time since I was kid, but it feels a bit different as an adult with my Eurasian kids.
MY mom loves to go to Chinatown for the cheap prices on food produce and fish. I don't particularly like going because the congested streets and lack of parking. Yet, I drive my mom there, or my husband does. It is part of the interdependent relationship with have with her, she watches our kids, or cooks for us as needed, we bring her shopping and to her activities as she needs it. OK, I feel comfortable when I'm in the avenues (lots of Chinese produce and meat/fish markets filled with mostly city locals.) Chinatown, on the other hand gets lots of gawking tourists. At least this is how I perceive it. They all want to see something exotic- not so suburban middle America.
Anyhow, once when I had parked the car and went down to Stockton and Broadway to wait for my mom, carrying my youngest on my back and walking with my 2 year old. This 20 something white girl and her companion kept looking at me and the kids, I of course studiously pretended no to notice. I overheard her mention the lightness of my baby, and she and her companion were trying to figure out if I was the nanny or the mom. I also had an Asian-American girl and her Mediterranean or Hispanic boyfriend pass by and again, I heard snatches of conversation nanny? mom? The girl stated definitively-nanny. I stared at her as she passed by and thought, "You'll find out soon enough sister!" If she continues with her out dating ways and has an exogamous marriage, and kids from it.
WTF?! What's up with the nanny thing? Do I look so disparate from my kids? I've met people who've commented on how aesthetically pleasing my kids look, which of course I am pleased, but by the same token alot of people-most Asians and people tend to say they take after their dad.
Hmmmm, sure certain bones structures, expressions and mannerisms, but not all. All my kids have brown eyes, their dad's eyes are blue. They all have the lovely long lashes of their dad, the eldest boy and the baby have their dad's thin but firm lips. The girl and the toddler have my full 'ethnic" lips. My daughter and youngest have very light brown hair, almost blond hair. However, my daughter's facial features are mine as a child's, but with a different complexion. Well, I guess that's some people's perspective. Anyhow, I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest.

[haplotype]

I experienced more racism in California than I have in other parts of the USA. Sounds like things haven't changed since I was there.

[milkman's baby]

This is exactly why I mentioned before that I would like to have a Eurasian or Hispanic father my children. I don't want my kids to have to go through this. People see a set of parents who look totally different and the nasty stereotypes immediately start kicking in. For the longest time I avoided going out in public with both my Asian mother and white father at the same time because I was afraid of all the thoughts that were going on in people's minds. She must be a mail order bride. He must have been a loser who wanted a submissive wife. She must have been desperate to have white children. No one has ever said these things to my face but they are ideas that I know exist out there. I often hear similar comments about black men who marry white women. She must've been ugly and fat and couldn't get a white man and he's just happy to have a white girl.

At least when your child's father looks similar to you people don't assume stupid sh*t.

[jefe]

But, if you have kids with another multi-racial (Eurasian or Hispanic) person, even one that looks like he could be related to you, the chance for even more unusual combinations could arise. For example, one child could look considerably more Asian than either parent, another child would have no problem passing as Caucasian, and a 3rd might seem to inherit a bunch of things from prior generations and look like neither parent. I don't think that solves the problem either. If there were only some way to guarantee that they would look like their parents.

If the other parent were full Asian, or full Caucasian, then some of them may be able to *pass* as monoracial or as a Eurasian who looks a little more Asian or Caucasian as the case may be.

[milkman's baby]

Jun 18, 2011 10:29:31 GMT -5 jefe said:

But, if you have kids with another multi-racial (Eurasian or Hispanic) person, even one that looks like he could be related to you, the chance for even more unusual combinations could arise. For example, one child could look considerably more Asian than either parent, another child would have no problem passing as Caucasian, and a 3rd might seem to inherit a bunch of things from prior generations and look like neither parent. I don't think that solves the problem either. If there were only some way to guarantee that they would look like their parents.

If the other parent were full Asian, or full Caucasian, then some of them may be able to *pass* as monoracial or as a Eurasian who looks a little more Asian or Caucasian as the case may be.

There are exceptions of course but in all likelihood, even with two Eurasian parents, the kids would look Hispanic. That is, considering both the Eurasian parents look kinda Hispanic themselves. Most mixed people, of any races, tend to pass as Hispanic since Latin Americans tend to be mixed themselves.

There are exceptions, yeah. I wouldn't make a big deal outta having a child that doesn't look like me but most of all I try to avoid dating men who look extremely different from me because that is when the stereotypes kick in. Jon Gosselin's children look more Asian than he does and yet they are more white than him. So yeah, genetics doesn't always work how you'd think it does.