I promise I'll pay you back...

[xandra]

I wouldn't completely give up on seeing your money again, since it sounds like you need it. I would try to approach this "friend" one more time and explain your financial situation and point out that you helped them out in their time of need, and you need them to return the favour. Setting up an installment plan would be a good idea. Otherwise maybe ask if they can give you something they own (mp3 player, digital camera) which is of equal value that you could at least sell to recoup the money.

I guess this is why they say that money and friendship don't mix.

[Ave`]

emm..didnt anyone teach you to not lend money to a guy?

I would usually laugh it off..like youre joking right. or say I dont have enough money too sorry. I had in the past borrowed my money to one particular guy friend and I know he is not the kind who returns money. I gave it anyway, coz its only abt 3 dollar, im rich and im a party spirit so i dont realltybother to ask him later. If he wants to give back he will and he never has heh.

[Ave`]

btw I have lend my money to a girl friend in trouble.

forgive my double standarts.

[Freecia]

I think one thing to know is that when you decide to lend your money to someone else, no matter if he was your bestfriend, brother, or stranger, you should have the thought in the back of your mind that this money may be gone forever. The same truth applies to all lenders, you always run the risk of not being able to recoup the money. With that acknowledged, lending money to him is a risk you take. And not all investments pay out.

With that said, I'd imagine him at least make the effort to show his willingness to repay you, not to give you guiltrips or even anger at times. If he only talks about repaying you yet you see no action, those are all signs that he has no intention of paying you back this money.

As friends, you should be able to talk about money, reglardless of how sensative it is. I'd like to think that I have great friends, who are willing to share my difficulties as much as I'd like to share theirs. If he can't repay this money to you for now, he at least needs to give you an explanation and act like his explanation makes sense. A person who says he's going broke and can't pay you a dime yet goes out for dinners everynight and parties every weekend is not broke at all. This money SHOULD be back into your pocket instead.

So you spend the amount of money you lent to your friend to discover what kind of a "friend" he is. Lesson learnt. Move on with your life, without him.

[Pocky Monster]

As with all money matters, have him sign a promissory note.

Or take him to court and duke it out there.

Judge Judy preferred. She'd kick both of your asses in the process.

[fatcat]

Thank you for all the advice. I haven't been able to get in touchwith this person in a while. The idea of a payment plan might be less threatening to him.

I have found out from others that they have also had similar problems with him .

The reason why I lent him the money was because he told me he was buying a car.I am not particularly close to this person( my friend's boyfriend(a bad influence imo))but feel I have to make a great effort to "play nice" on her behalf. (My friend even pressured me a little to lend him the money.) I am the only person with a vehicle among my friends at this point. He promised that when he got the car that he would become the new "chauffeur" in the group and would thus save me time and money in the long run.

He does not have a car yet...and I am pretty sure now that he never intended to buy a car.

I am such a sucker.

[xandra]

Given the situation, I think you should approach your friend and tell her that you're desperate for the money. She is just as responsible since she pressured you into lending him the money. They're both assholes, as far as I can tell.

[B]

Going off of personal experience, I'm gonna have to agree with cruelangel. Most of the time, you won't get your money back unless it's just a small amount. Just take it as a lesson I guess.

Actually, if it's a lot of money then keep nagging him. You could also take him to small claims court. That is, if you don't care about remaining friends with him.

[ConceptDesign]

How much money are we talking?

[fatcat]

^^
I was duped. I am very sure that he knew he could get a car loan...so did she. I am almost certain now that the two of them have a substance abuse problem.
I have known this girl all my life and she has changed quite drastically in the last couple of years. I will never lend them money again.

It was a sorry and most likely destructive way for me to "buy back" a friend. I am sure that I did more harm then good to her...plus I lost about 900 dollars in the process.

[tbw]

;( sad but glad that you consider it a loss now to move on. One of life's little expensive experiences.
Can I borrow $2 for a cookie? I will give you an IOU

[juancarlos]

Worse comes to worst, you could always hire a collection agency to get the money. They'll hound him like a dog, and you won't have to do it yourself.

If he doesn't pay up, at least his credit will get screwed and say "bye bye" to getting a commercial car loan. Years later, that could still haunt him when he applies for a job, tries to get an apartment or any type of commercial loan. Just my two cents.

[daisypukes]

[ConceptDesign]

You're all class, DP.

[daisypukes]

Oh, s***, I forgot to explain. I think you should leave a used menstrual pad on this person's doorstep. Okay, I just made that up right now, I just really wanted to post that pic.