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Post by halfbreed on Dec 7, 2006 10:23:28 GMT -5
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Post by cheeseprata on Dec 7, 2006 20:22:29 GMT -5
Despite several occasions being really spanked/hit with implements, it still didn't stop me lighting a fire in my room once....promptly followed by more wooden spoon moments.
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hilary
Junior Member
Posts: 122
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Post by hilary on Dec 8, 2006 14:01:49 GMT -5
my parents are both 40-something years older than i am.
i was just expected to catch up.
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Post by the other helen on Dec 8, 2006 18:17:44 GMT -5
Even though my Mum was the only one who smacked me, I was always more afraid of my Dad - God knows why, he never would have laid a hand on me! Still, the words 'I'm going to tell your Father when he gets home' stuck fear into my little heart. And even if Dad was the one to tell me off, he wasn't shouty...just quietly angry. Which was somehow scarier. Neither my brother nor I ever got anything worse than a spank on the butt or a slap on the hand, and we had to have been really naughty to deserve that - you knew Mum was really mad when she told you to hold out your hand, that you had done something 'bad', and you knew you weren't going to do it again any time soon! We were threatened with worse (bamboo feather duster / wire hanger / belt / etc), and knew that Mum wasn't making crap up (her father was a right bastard when it came to beatings) but the threats were enough to stop us from being too naughty, I suppose. Good thing too, because conversation with my Mum have revealed how much she hated smacking us. She said she moved from spanking us to slapping our hands because she felt so bad about watching us walk away painfully, and then she stopped smacking our hands because whoever was being made to hold their hand out would start crying before she smacked them / looked at her in such a way that made her feel guilty!
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Post by rlivings on Dec 14, 2006 18:54:25 GMT -5
kneeling in front of a wall.
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Post by helles on Dec 14, 2006 21:11:26 GMT -5
^ i had that too, whilst pulling my ears aswell?
i think its supposed to humiliate you or sth, but i didnt mind doing that, as it was better than getting a righteous slapping/beating with whatever she could get her hands on and whatnot by my mum.
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mel
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by mel on Aug 16, 2008 6:28:57 GMT -5
my mum was the one who did the disciplining. she was raised in a religious, strict family (which is why all my aunts are so naggy and it pisses me off ) where they were raised to be good children. if they do something bad,my grandfather (by the way,my mum's family is manadonese--an indo tribe) would grab his belt and smack them like s***,or oma would give them a spanking,and when they say bad things,my oma would get some sambal (like an indo chilli-spice-sauce thing that we use to eat) and put it in their mouths..my mum does the same thing to us -.-" my childhood was full of slaps on the face (esp the mouth),the constant hard pullings of the ears,spanks on the ass (i had me mum's hand mark on me ass once after she spanked me,which made the situation hilarious instead of scary eheh ),chilli in the mouth,and being locked up in bathrooms or the storage room. but then my sister told me that mum once tied my feet and my hands and taped my mouth and left me in a corner. i really don't remember what happened but that seems so crazy and insensitive of my mother to do so. sometimes i think she's out of her mind with the way she disciplines us..when i become a mother,i don't wanna be like her..i mean,i don't wanna be as hard as she was.. results are,i am very emotionally unstable,which is dangerous 'cause it leads to my self-mutilation and drinking habits,and im closer to my friends than i am to my family,i don't tell my family anything,i don't open up to them about my problems,i can't trust them. hmm my dad on the other hand,he's the european one.well,his mother was german-portuguese-chinese-banjar (banjar being another indo tribe..indonesia has a lot of tribes or whtvr you call em) while his father was dutch-timor (timor being another indo tribe). the way my dad was raised by my opa and my oma was weird. my opa was in the military,yet several of his sons,which included my dad (my dad is in a family of 9--7 sons,2 daughters) were bad boys..they had a gang that terrorized the neighborhood (being the only eurasians in the neighborhood,they were huge compared to the average indo boys) and some of my dad's brothers would skip school and 1 or 2 didn't even go to college..thank god my dad didn't end up that way though he was straightened out when he went to military school and college.. anyway,my dad told me that when they were teenagers,they would fight a lot,which included throwing things here and there (one time they even threw bricks around which hit one of my dad's little sisters and busted her head), and strangely,my opa and my oma didn't mind! instead,they'd get mad at the one who starts crying first..they didn't like crybabies,they wanted strong children.well,i would want strong children,but sorry opa and oma,that way of raising children is just,weird my dad's an impatient person,being a total businessman and all,always out of the house,hardly ever home. so when we were kids, whenever me or my siblings start crying or shouting around or stuff,my dad would get so pissed and threaten us with "shut up or else i'll slap you till you bleed!" and we'd automatically shut up. we got hit by dad just several times when we were small but that's it,nothing more..his hits to us are nothing compared to what mum does..she's like the devil in disguise or sth! even my friends say that she looks scary..
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Post by straylight on Aug 16, 2008 7:36:55 GMT -5
Geez. I'm sorry that y'all had to deal with this crap. My mom was really rough on me once, but other than emotional abuse or the occassional spanking, she never did it again. I know she's sorry for it now, and I have no idea why she freaked out.. I just remember coming home from the pool one day, and she flipped because my room was dirty (she's kinda ocd with that). She beat me with a belt or a metal hanger..I can't remember.. and since I was only wearing swimming trunks, it left all kinds of marks on my back. I was seriously hurt. On top of that, the next day I got in trouble at school, and was going to get paddled for something else, and I just broke down and cried to the principal, telling him not to touch me, since I had lashes all over my back already (yes, my school had corporal punishment back in the day). And when I say it hurt, I mean it was bad enough that I STILL have some of those scars to this day, in my 30's. My dad spanked me a couple of times, but it was mostly my mom. As I got older, I just got grounded for stuff. Then in my later teens, I got tired of any and all aggression on their part. While I respect my parents, I was resolved to assert my dignity eventually, and someone who they couldn't touch or take whatever "problems of the day" they had out on me.
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Ragnar
Full Member
?slenskur/华人
Posts: 464
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Post by Ragnar on Aug 16, 2008 8:31:30 GMT -5
My mom used to smack me on the fingers with a rotan stick. She didn't do it very often but enough to leave scars on two of my fingers. And like other moms here, my mom could also really freak out about very little things like not hanging up your clothes, one lower grade on your report card or a 'dirty' room. Oh those crazy asian moms lol. White people are always so shocked when I tell them this
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mel
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by mel on Aug 16, 2008 8:48:59 GMT -5
yea i think asian mums are scary compared to EA/caucasian mums..well,some are..i was just surprised how i was always punished so often and given restrictions (i cant go clubbing and partying and s*** by me mum) while my other EA friends weren't..unfair and lame childhood,yea,but now i'm still more put together compared to my friends who smoke,drink,go clubbing,and sleep around..i mean i shisha and drink but at least i still end up better than them,that's what i'd thank me mum for..
btw,Ragnar,you live at reykjavik? know sigur ros?
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Ragnar
Full Member
?slenskur/华人
Posts: 464
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Post by Ragnar on Aug 16, 2008 9:01:52 GMT -5
I'm not in Reykjavik at the moment but it is my home. I'm currently studying in the netherlands. And yeah, I know sigur ros but I'm more of a skítamórall fan
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mel
Junior Member
Posts: 65
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Post by mel on Aug 16, 2008 9:12:59 GMT -5
studying in the netherlands?? i'm planning to study there which uni do you go to?? i'm planning to go to leiden uni but sadly i can't speak the language ohh well i like sigur ros,they're awesome,just wondering eheh soz..skitamorall? similar?
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Post by buff on Aug 16, 2008 9:25:45 GMT -5
My parents were not strict with me and my siblings. They occasionally got mad when we had kiddie fights or respond back at them, we got one spank with a flip-flop that didn't hurt at all. But it's nothing, we never hold a grunge at them and only remember happy times spent growing-up at home.
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Ragnar
Full Member
?slenskur/华人
Posts: 464
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Post by Ragnar on Aug 16, 2008 16:05:14 GMT -5
studying in the netherlands?? i'm planning to study there which uni do you go to?? i'm planning to go to leiden uni but sadly i can't speak the language ohh well i like sigur ros,they're awesome,just wondering eheh soz..skitamorall? similar? Leiden? I’m in Tilburg University in Tilburg. Many indo’s and other Asians go to Leiden for some reason. What’s so special about it? Anyway, Don’t know what you want to study but many courses are offered in English. You don’t necessarily have to speak the language. You can get by perfectly with English in the Netherlands. I, however, had to learn the language because most of my classes were in dutch and I also wanted a job here next to my studies. Don’t wanna derail the thread too much so pm me if you want to know more on-topic (sort of ): When your asian mom is on one of her rants, does she always compare you to your good full asian cousins who are never ever bad and are so much better than you?
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Post by truelies on Aug 16, 2008 17:23:52 GMT -5
all attempts to 'discipline' me don't really work because i don't have enough respect for my parents to give in to being disciplined. i take an 'i can, so i will, so i don't care what you say' sort of attitude. 'if you do ___, you will have lost my trust' doesn't really mean anything to me because i don't require their trust to do anything, and a guilty conscience is the last thing on my mind.
^ @ ethel, my mother is pretty similar in that regards. 'why aren't you more like ___,' i've come to realise i can use dud genetics as a scapegoat for almost anything.
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