|
Post by dannyd on Aug 16, 2008 19:42:18 GMT -5
My parents found it hard to discipline me. I realised very early on in my childhood that no real childhood discipline was really that bad. Grounding saw me climb out my bedroom window, I never got pocket money anyway so they couldn't take that away and smacking wasn't a huge issue either. My dad did pull out the belt when I'd done serious wrongs like swear at my mum or something (I would never have thought to swear at dad...). The belt did act as a deterrent because it hurt like hell. It would bruise! I remember me and my brothers comparing belt bruises lol. That sounds really bad when you tell it. The way we see it dad would only do it in extreme cases, we knew he hated doing it and none of us carry any resulting psychological scars. Personally I wouldn't resort to violence as response to a childs misdemeanor, no matter how bad, but that isn't a criticism of my dad knowing 1) he had been brought up in an era where even his teachers beat the s*** out of him for even academic errors and 2) he was a damn good father. Just had to point that out as talking about the belting on its own makes him sound very abusive.
My mum use to get out the cane when she got mad, but when she is angry she is irrational unlike dad who would go in knowing he planned to administer 5 belts and he would stop there, in contrast she'd go nuts with the cane. Eventually I grabbed it off her and snapped it. Then she went even more crazy with the wooden sppon and I snapped that too. Lol, I was a bastard child to deal with.
|
|
|
Post by thekrez on Aug 16, 2008 20:23:21 GMT -5
My parents found it hard to discipline me. I realised very early on in my childhood that no real childhood discipline was really that bad. Grounding saw me climb out my bedroom window, I never got pocket money anyway so they couldn't take that away and smacking wasn't a huge issue either. My dad did pull out the belt when I'd done serious wrongs like swear at my mum or something (I would never have thought to swear at dad...). The belt did act as a deterrent because it hurt like hell. It would bruise! I remember me and my brothers comparing belt bruises lol. That sounds really bad when you tell it. The way we see it dad would only do it in extreme cases, we knew he hated doing it and none of us carry any resulting psychological scars. Personally I wouldn't resort to violence as response to a childs misdemeanor, no matter how bad, but that isn't a criticism of my dad knowing 1) he had been brought up in an era where even his teachers beat the sh*t out of him for even academic errors and 2) he was a damn good father. Just had to point that out as talking about the belting on its own makes him sound very abusive. My mum use to get out the cane when she got mad, but when she is angry she is irrational unlike dad who would go in knowing he planned to administer 5 belts and he would stop there, in contrast she'd go nuts with the cane. Eventually I grabbed it off her and snapped it. Then she went even more crazy with the wooden sppon and I snapped that too. Lol, I was a bastard child to deal with. Man very similar to me. Crazy Asian mothers are well known on this board and have been discussed many a time. Same as you lived a bit in fear of the old man and the belt BUT he was never irrational with it. Made me behave if nothing else and stand by that. And as in my case he was an awesome dad and stuck by us which is more than you can say for a lot of Eurasian families. Would not trade my upbringing for the world from what I have seen CAN happen. Miss my folks a lot and wish I was home to see them.
|
|
|
Post by truelies on Aug 16, 2008 20:46:12 GMT -5
^Yeah I know my lack of brains and looks is inherited from mommie dearest. ;D This is exactly how it's done. A lot of people here got the belt, etc. Why didn't you just leave? Every time I get into a fight with the rents I leave and then it's their issue because they don't know where I am and so they're the ones worrying. I think the real problem is, I see my parents as equals and I am not afraid of them. The only way we can really come to a negotiation is when I need money and I don't have any. Hence why, right now, I am in desperate need of a job.
|
|
terce
Junior Member
Posts: 68
|
Post by terce on Aug 16, 2008 23:02:13 GMT -5
my mum did the discipline in my family...having said that we all loved our dad more...
|
|
mel
Junior Member
Posts: 65
|
Post by mel on Aug 17, 2008 6:04:58 GMT -5
yea well my sis was a goody-goody person so she never got in trouble with mum..me and my brother on the other hand,we got in trouble a lot when we were still kids so we loved our daddy more ahaha the typical kid stuff.. well my mum doesn't compare me to my asian cousins..she loves comparing me to my sister esp since we're in the same class and she gets good grades while i'm just the average carefree kind of student..not the best thing in the world to be compared to your siblings
|
|
|
Post by honeyviper on Aug 23, 2008 2:26:15 GMT -5
Hmmmm. I never really did anything too outrageous. One of my elder siblings was really unruly, so I tried to not act out because I knew my parents were having a tough time already. When I would freak out though, on the odd occasion, my mum would slap me so I would get it together.
|
|
|
Post by viruslabrat on Aug 23, 2008 11:44:51 GMT -5
Leather belt, hitting, head banged against walls, things broken, slapping, spanking, held by the throat, meat cleaver. There's probably more but I forget.
|
|
|
Post by dannyd on Aug 23, 2008 18:30:52 GMT -5
Krez: I think our situations sound identical really. Although when I snapped my mums cane as she was hitting me she was in such disbelief she lost it and started kicking me on the ground. Lucky for me, my mum is not very strong, even as a 7 year old As for the two posts above this, I'm not ignoring them, but I'm a little speechless...
|
|
|
Post by viruslabrat on Aug 23, 2008 22:30:27 GMT -5
^^No, my mother wasn't that bad. The meat cleaver incident was about as bad as she got and I actually find that funny now. Meh, I'm over it. I use my parents as an example of what NOT to do when it comes to disciplining children.
|
|
|
Post by halfbreed on Aug 23, 2008 22:54:46 GMT -5
I probably should've asked... was the primary disciplinary the Asian parent or the European one?
|
|
furbob
Full Member
Can I has?
Posts: 247
|
Post by furbob on Oct 26, 2008 4:19:36 GMT -5
My mum used to smack me and take stuff off me or go "if you dont finish your dinner, you're staying there till you finish it!" I used to sit there crying for an hr until she had to finally wash the dishes
|
|
quiapo
Junior Member
Posts: 188
|
Post by quiapo on Oct 26, 2008 20:14:07 GMT -5
It is appalling to read what some of us have had to endure from our parents, but it is heartening to see the courage and resilience demonstrated by many victims. I wonder how such abuse has shaped us as adults. I grew up in an era and a place where corporal punishment was expected everywhere, and school would be as bad as many of the worst homes. Most of my friends have grown up to be responsible adults and social paragons, and as far as I am aware, not as violent as their parents were.
|
|
|
Post by treedwellingcow on Nov 28, 2008 14:45:42 GMT -5
Some of the stories in this thread are very sad. My parents were both teachers and the main way the disciplined us was the "I'm very disappointed in you" guilt. It worked, we rarely misbehaved.
|
|