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Post by cheeseprata on Jun 4, 2007 20:38:06 GMT -5
This is a double part question.
For me, I began fully supporting myself (and by fully I mean no more relying on your parents) at 19 which is the same time I left home.
For some people, they have to leave home early due to living in remote areas for school etc. So they start young. For me I thought 19 was kinda average. I was able to make ends meet with a government allowance for studying and part time work.
Once out I never bothered my parents. So when did you leave the family nest? Do your parents still support you or are you making your own way in the world? Earning your own moula...doing your own thing....
removed the s from smove
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Post by dannyd on Jun 4, 2007 21:17:36 GMT -5
I finished school at 18, then a trip across Asia and intended to go into Europe turned into me being practically penniless in China. I didn't want to leave and thus contacted my parents who supported me to get into university there (the only way I could get a visa to stay) and I began studying Chinese. They also gave me a sum per month that I could live on (rent and food). I taught English/ had my TV show for my booze/travel money.
I came back at 20 and lived at home for a couple of months before heading off to uni. It's all been me since. Mixture of barwork/labouring/TAB even a brief stint in security at the trots has got me through uni. Glad I'm finishing, the rent is becoming unbelievable.
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Post by i move the stars for no one on Jun 4, 2007 21:18:38 GMT -5
i ran away when i was 15 and learned for the first time what independance was.i didn't always have a place to sleep and money and food were never guaranteed things,but it taught me how to get by on nothing much and how to be resourceful (and where the best dumpsters in town were .)i did wind up eventually going back home (i was lucky in that respect,plenty of the kids i hung out with didn't have anything to go back to),and left again when i was 18.
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Post by xandra on Jun 4, 2007 22:58:36 GMT -5
Uhhh...I'll let you know when it happens. I'm shooting for January...ish.
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Post by chinesejewfool on Jun 4, 2007 23:04:52 GMT -5
It's going to be a while... a long while. I'm considering staying with the parents for grad school too 0_0
My Orchestra teacher put it best....mooch of your parents as long as possible and use the mooching as an advantage to get an education or advance yourself at work, etc.
It is too hard to make a good living. You need an advanced degree, and getting excessive student debt is not necessary.
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Post by Nikki on Jun 4, 2007 23:28:05 GMT -5
I suppose I'd have to say 21.
Lived on my own in college from 18-21 but my parents paid to get my studious Latin studying little ass through those four years. I had a few jobs during college but they were more for pocket money - money I could frivolously blow on things that sparkled (be it drinks or jewerly) or had computer chips inside.
21 and I was spirited off to Japan where I pay my own rent, feed myself and hope to God that my bills are being taken automatically out of my account as I can't read a damn thing on any of the contracts that I signed away my soul on.
My parents will always be there for me if I need them. They have always been massively supportive, but it feels good to be on one's own. Of course I say this and will probably be paying till I'm dusty powder in the ground for my grad school degree.
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Post by lo1337a on Jun 5, 2007 1:50:10 GMT -5
^ Latin scholars represent! (^_^) Granted, I don't do it anymore, but hey, wooo!
I am desperate to get away from them, but it has yet to happen. I'm in the middle of forming a good plan of action. I'm hoping to be out within two years, depending on how things go for me financially/academically (got about two years left of school that I may or may not finish--I'm entirely apathetic at this point) and when my friends get out of university so we can move in and be broke together and make art.
I know I should probably stick around to save money, but really, debt is worth sanity.
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Post by lo1337a on Jun 5, 2007 1:54:47 GMT -5
s***, it occurs to me that I should probably clarify:
I haven't lived with my parents since I was 14, I was sent to boarding in school. It sucked. Now that I'm 21, and really every time I have come back since my first summer vacation, it feels like a soul-crushing blow to my independance. I usually solve this by getting a job and traveling often, but it usually means I run out of money and have to go back because it'll still be a month until school starts and I've no where else to go.
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Post by Nikki on Jun 5, 2007 2:01:44 GMT -5
^ You studied LATIN AND you're interested in IRISH. GOOD GOD, ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?!
conas ata tu?
I'm always surprised when I meet people from the States who went to boarding school. I didn't realize it was that popular.
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Post by jenming on Jun 5, 2007 3:07:08 GMT -5
After I finished high school, I stayed with my parents for 6 months before eloping and moving into a shared apartment in the city I'm guessing you don't mean "elope" in the getting married sense, yes? even if you weren't getting married, it kind of sounds like you had to escape....
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Post by cheeseprata on Jun 5, 2007 3:26:14 GMT -5
I was told by a few people that Uni is the best time etc etc. I never understood why until I moved out and I have to say, the life experience curve just grew exponentially. On the surface it's like not much different to your friends living at home, but then it starts to creep up here and there.
I really learnt heaps having to go out and support yourself and knowing that no cash = no food really hits hard when you realise that it's for real.
I guess it was such a turning point for me I wondered if anyone else had similar experiences.
I think it was like finding out you CAN do something and that begins to extend to other things you may have placed in the "too hard" box. The feeling of empowerment can be quite character building.
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Post by thekrez on Jun 5, 2007 4:47:33 GMT -5
Jesus christ am I the only person with a normal family life? I really dont subscribe to this "I got kicked out at 16 and told to fight against the WOLVES SPARTA STYLE" method of upbringing.
I didnt elope, I didnt run away, I didnt get involved in trouble. I went to high school, got decent grades, then went to university, got decent grades and then got a job. I then went and worked in Singapore and Malaysia at 24-25 which was probably the first time I was truly away from my home city and "emotionally" independent.
I have a mother and a father who are supportive and who allowed me to sponge off them until I got a job after university. So financially I was independent at 21. I moved out then as well but since I was in the same city I wasnt really too independent emotionally.
Now is that so f***ing bad and horrible? That I have loving parents who supported me and as a result Im very grateful for? As CJF said I am far more successful than had I had to work while studying and become burdened with thousands in degree debts.
Im sick of f***ers with a holier than thou attitude telling me "oooo look at me at how independent I am Im so much better than you because of it because _I_ got to live on my own since I was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD" .
Jesus F Christ and f*** you.
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Post by dannyd on Jun 5, 2007 5:33:03 GMT -5
^^ I didn't notice anyone heap s*** on people who didn't move out early. But perhaps the people who have feel at least a reasonable amount of accomplishment at having done so. I reckon if I decided to move home tomorrow my parents would be very happy to have me there. Personally I just felt better doing it on my own. To each his/her own. If I lived at home I'd be quite happy to let my parents put food on the table. I simply enjoyed the freedoms and lifestyle that living outside my parents roof afforded me. Living away, I just couldn't ask for money though. Don't ask me why. ^ Agree in a sense. My class mates who live at home yet still have to cram assignments with me everytime when I may have worked 20-30 hours in the week.... I'm thinking 'If only I had all that time!'. Truth being though, that I'd probably still leave it to the last minute
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Post by thekrez on Jun 5, 2007 6:53:47 GMT -5
^^ I didn't notice anyone heap sh*t on people who didn't move out early. But perhaps the people who have feel at least a reasonable amount of accomplishment at having done so. I reckon if I decided to move home tomorrow my parents would be very happy to have me there. Personally I just felt better doing it on my own. To each his/her own. If I lived at home I'd be quite happy to let my parents put food on the table. I simply enjoyed the freedoms and lifestyle that living outside my parents roof afforded me. Living away, I just couldn't ask for money though. Don't ask me why. No no, not on here im talking in terms of more general encounters, Ive found that people who have been kicked out at 16 and told to rack off and support themselves have a certain smugness, a superiority thing over people who have been dependent on their parents. And like to make a point of saying how indepedent they are and how they did it all on their own. And all Im saying is there is nothing wrong with letting your parents support you for a bit. I detect almost that certain people think youre somehow deficient in character and as a person if you havent lived like a pauper student, barely making rent, working a s*** job, barely making decent grades because you dont have enough time to study and zero social life because youre too busy studying and working. Like thats some kind of a independent nirvana to strive for.
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Post by thekrez on Jun 5, 2007 7:17:53 GMT -5
@thekrez, I wish I had a family that could have helped me out with unconditional love but I didn't and don't. Not all of us are blessed with "great" parents. The only reason I have love for my mum is by default. If she weren't my parent I'd have nothing to do with her. You are so fortunate. Plus I'm tired of working and taking care of myself. I want to be helped out but that's life. I do envy my friends who's parents paid for their apartments, gave cars and co-signed homes. It's not necessarily spoiling someone but giving a head start. But we weren't all made equal. I do the best I can. My life is a lot more fulfilling w/o being near my immediate family. I'd be "the living dead.....a Stepford child...hmmm maybe suicidal" if living under their roof. Yeah Im sorry to hear about that. That does suck. And some peoples family situations will always prevent them from getting that head start. I just have issue with people who think they are somehow better or superior than someone who was dependent on their parents. Because you arent. There is nothing noble about struggling in life to survive. The more support you can get from friends, family, acquaintances the better, and it doesnt make you a weaker person for accepting help.
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