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Post by 0 on Jun 5, 2007 8:16:30 GMT -5
While I am jealous to an extent of the "free ride" a lot of people got and as an adult can see the direct impact in my life in things like earnings, I still ultimately think I'm better off for my life on a personal level. People I know who had everything handed to them seem less appreciative and generally lazier. I do believe hard work and some austerity breeds what is commonly known as character but I also dont think that it can only be developed by living on one's own. Plenty of people live at home as adults and may have a lot of responsibilities, perhaps to their parents or siblings, and in fact it might be less responsible for them to go off on their own. Maybe even selfish.
But ultimately since I believe in karma I think it all balances out assuming one has the proper attitude and doesn't draw negative things into their life through their thoughts and actions.
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Post by cjsdad on Jun 5, 2007 9:09:17 GMT -5
At 18 I was financially independant. Not by choice. This does not mean my parents "abandoned" me...they just had to focus on my brother. They still helped as much as they could, but student loans became my "friend". For awhile. I paid off six digits worth of loans roughly 3 years after finishing residency....a tall order, but it can be done taking public transportation, eating a lot of Ramen noodles, and avoiding the bars! It was a dark time for the rebellion. It was.....a learning experience. Did it somehow make me "better". Nope. It just was what it was. I'd rather have had no debt and tons of financial support. Instead, I got emotional support, and that is important too. With that said....I have NO intention of making my kids deal with garbage like that. My kids will likely shake the money tree in some kind of cosmic karma deal. I picture my daughter majoring in 19th century russian literature and "finding herself" until her late 20's. And I'm ok with that. Would I like her to be a hard worker, independant, blah blah blah.....sure. But she already knows how to work daddy at age 18 months. I'd be kidding myself if I thought she won't be 10x better at it at age 18 years.
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Post by 0 on Jun 5, 2007 9:14:34 GMT -5
Reflecting on my recent past, I do regret turning down 2 sugar daddies. We can get into the "whoring" debate but aren't we all in some form or another through our jobs? If I had taken up with one of them for a year or two, my financial situation would 10 times better. It's one of my regrets. They were nerdy and old too so I wouldn't have had to "put-out" much. In your early-mid 20s, you think sexual virtue is so important when really it's not. I mean look at Miss Virgin Jessica Simpson. I missed out on my ripe years. You could find a 60 year old fetishist and buy a kimono or sarong - you know, something ethnic - and call him Tai-Pan or Shogun
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Post by Freecia on Jun 5, 2007 10:39:28 GMT -5
I finished school when I was 23, and I moved out around 6 months after. My parents were nice enough to let me stay home for uni but I had to work part time to pay them partial rent. It wasn't that they really needed the money, but they thought it'd be a good idea if I could be academically responsible as well as financially responsible as well. That was the training they put me through. And to be honest it would've been too much of a burden for both my parents and I had I moved out anyways, since they were also supporting my sister to go to pharmacy school at the time. I'm very appreciative that they were willing to work out a plan with me so that everyone didn't have to go into debt or work ourselves to death.
After I graduated, I stayed for for another couple of months until my mom got a transfer offer to move from her Chicago branch office to L.A. headquarter. Since my dad, my brother, and my sister all coincidentally ended up in L.A. at the time anyway, my mom took the chance to moved there as well. I stayed behind to help her sell the house in Chicago, and I moved to an apartment in a town next to where I used to live. And there I was, I was finally, officially, independent.
I think still till this day, my mom feels really guilty for "leaving me behind" even though I live only 2 hours away from her now. I think my parents still have that traditional Chinese mentality that children don't move out until they're married. Even then, it'd still be OK to live with parents even after they're married in the exchange of support the parents, or something like that. My parents would often talk about since my husband's away (due to his work) too much, I might as well move back home and live with them. I was like, "uh...no thanks...."
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Post by catgirl on Jun 5, 2007 15:51:01 GMT -5
I moved out when I was 18 and started university. Then I lived with my friends for about 2 years. And now Ive been living with my boyfriend for one year, and we re getting married this summer. I also lived one year abroad around age 16-17 with a host family in France for a year. And this automne Im going to Poland to study for 6 years, so I guess Ill live at the school appartments for a year until my boyfriend eventually comes over to study. Well thats my life
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Post by cheeseprata on Jun 5, 2007 15:58:21 GMT -5
Jesus christ am I the only person with a normal family life? I really dont subscribe to this "I got kicked out at 16 and told to fight against the WOLVES SPARTA STYLE" method of upbringing. I didnt elope, I didnt run away, I didnt get involved in trouble. I went to high school, got decent grades, then went to university, got decent grades and then got a job. I then went and worked in Singapore and Malaysia at 24-25 which was probably the first time I was truly away from my home city and "emotionally" independent. I have a mother and a father who are supportive and who allowed me to sponge off them until I got a job after university. So financially I was independent at 21. I moved out then as well but since I was in the same city I wasnt really too independent emotionally. Now is that so f**king bad and horrible? That I have loving parents who supported me and as a result Im very grateful for? As CJF said I am far more successful than had I had to work while studying and become burdened with thousands in degree debts. Im sick of f**kers with a holier than thou attitude telling me "oooo look at me at how independent I am Im so much better than you because of it because _I_ got to live on my own since I was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD" . Jesus F Christ and f**k you. I'm laughing as I read this because I can SO picture you writing this before you had your morning coffee.. right down to your facial expressions!
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Post by thekrez on Jun 5, 2007 16:28:19 GMT -5
Jesus christ am I the only person with a normal family life? I really dont subscribe to this "I got kicked out at 16 and told to fight against the WOLVES SPARTA STYLE" method of upbringing. I didnt elope, I didnt run away, I didnt get involved in trouble. I went to high school, got decent grades, then went to university, got decent grades and then got a job. I then went and worked in Singapore and Malaysia at 24-25 which was probably the first time I was truly away from my home city and "emotionally" independent. I have a mother and a father who are supportive and who allowed me to sponge off them until I got a job after university. So financially I was independent at 21. I moved out then as well but since I was in the same city I wasnt really too independent emotionally. Now is that so f**king bad and horrible? That I have loving parents who supported me and as a result Im very grateful for? As CJF said I am far more successful than had I had to work while studying and become burdened with thousands in degree debts. Im sick of f**kers with a holier than thou attitude telling me "oooo look at me at how independent I am Im so much better than you because of it because _I_ got to live on my own since I was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD" . Jesus F Christ and f**k you. I'm laughing as I read this because I can SO picture you writing this before you had your morning coffee.. right down to your facial expressions! heh i think im turning into a crabby Londoner.
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Post by 0 on Jun 5, 2007 16:36:19 GMT -5
^ How's the shagging going there, Austin?
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Post by thekrez on Jun 5, 2007 17:14:55 GMT -5
^ How's the shagging going there, Austin? fabulous, baby.
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Post by chinesejewfool on Jun 7, 2007 12:01:00 GMT -5
Jesus christ am I the only person with a normal family life? I really dont subscribe to this "I got kicked out at 16 and told to fight against the WOLVES SPARTA STYLE" method of upbringing. I didnt elope, I didnt run away, I didnt get involved in trouble. I went to high school, got decent grades, then went to university, got decent grades and then got a job. I then went and worked in Singapore and Malaysia at 24-25 which was probably the first time I was truly away from my home city and "emotionally" independent. I have a mother and a father who are supportive and who allowed me to sponge off them until I got a job after university. So financially I was independent at 21. I moved out then as well but since I was in the same city I wasnt really too independent emotionally. Now is that so f**king bad and horrible? That I have loving parents who supported me and as a result Im very grateful for? As CJF said I am far more successful than had I had to work while studying and become burdened with thousands in degree debts. Im sick of f**kers with a holier than thou attitude telling me "oooo look at me at how independent I am Im so much better than you because of it because _I_ got to live on my own since I was SIXTEEN YEARS OLD" . Jesus F Christ and f**k you. You're not alone either. The growing trend in the US and especially Japan is to mooch off your parents. The stakes are too high nowadays to play around at university. The market for employers for employees with BA's is becoming oversaturated. Pharmacy school, dental school, med school, law school, get harder and harder to get into every single year with better and better applicants. Why cripple yourself for short term university glory, when it will hurt one in the long run? I know of too many people who are in massive financial burden that is affecting their scholastic performance. Their parents, like mine, are not wealthy enough to send them to college and pay for everything, but instead of swallowing their pride and staying with the parents, they insist on independence. Independence means massive stress and lower grades. Why put up with that? One may say, work experience is important, but when you stay at home, you have more options. You don't have to be pressured to take better paying jobs, but you can take non-paying internships that eventually help you more in the future in terms of experience. Pre-law students can be an assistant at a law firm getting paid nothing which is 100x's more valuable than working 30 hours at a fast food joint a week to pay bills.
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Post by chinesejewfool on Jun 7, 2007 12:01:53 GMT -5
Oh so what's the shagging situation when you still live with parents? My bet is he's getting laid more now as a success rather than his friends who focused too much on getting laid during school years.
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Post by xandra on Jun 8, 2007 0:03:11 GMT -5
To elaborate on my earlier post I've lived at home throughout university, minus the last two summers when I worked and lived in Toronto. In the beginning I stayed at home for financial reasons but also to help out at home with the family situation. For a few years I resented my sister for getting out before the s*** really hit the fan, but everything worked out in the end. While I may miss out on some of the freedoms that living on your own affords you, it's pretty damn cushy to live at home and not have to worry about paying for groceries or cooking all the time. It's actually pretty nice now that it's just my mom and I. We get along well, and she isn't too strict which is a big plus. Plus I don't have any student loans to pay back. But even still, spending those two summers away made a big difference and it was nice to find out that I can actually take care of myself. I think I've had a pretty good balance, even if I do still sometimes envy my friends who live on their own.
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Post by 0 on Jun 8, 2007 9:00:08 GMT -5
^ Jeez, all you had to do is say "Jeff you can't stay with me when you come to Germany." instead of this big song and dance.
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ausitalapino
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Australian by birth - Italian and Filipino by Blood
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Post by ausitalapino on Jun 8, 2007 10:25:12 GMT -5
This should explain all home.vtown.com.au/~gabrossi2/09.www.gabrielrossi.com.mp3lol, in all seriousness, both my sides of the family are very conservative when it comes to money. Firstly all our parents want to see us succeed. So in many ethnic based families in Aus, don't want to see their kids throwing money down the drain by renting, but saving their money for a house, etc, etc. I know many people a lot older than me who stay with their families til they get married, or because of job opportunites.
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Post by lo1337a on Jun 11, 2007 18:53:28 GMT -5
^ Oh man, if I had to stay with my parents until I was married I would just shave my head and buy a hundred cats right now. It would be like a 8x10 feline monastery in my room.
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