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Post by pandaroo on Jul 20, 2007 4:44:34 GMT -5
I'm sure many of us fellow Eurasians here have experienced the anger and frustration when our Asian mothers, aunties, female family friends and even grandmothers have commented on 'who looks more pretty/handsome/attractive?' What happens is that they will talk about the appearance of our siblings and cousins who are also Eurasian. They discuss and debate and gossip over which one of us is prettier or more attractive than the other. Comparing us also to what features we have, in their opinions, looking more Asian/Euro, which sucks because it is totally subjective anyway. De-racialing us and commenting on our complexion, hair, eyes, etc. I hate it, and personally have experienced it myself. It always seems to be the female adults (being completely Asian themselves they don't know how to relate to being Eurasian or mixed). Sorry, I seem to be very angry on this thread but at least I'm getting some Eurasian frustration off my chest.
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Post by akeon on Jul 20, 2007 8:37:19 GMT -5
Aww I have been thinking about exactly this the last days too!! I'm feeling exactly the same, frustration. I am ALWAYS worried when I go to visit the asian side of my family (or when I meet Asians people with my sibling) and the comments people will make on me and them. My asian aunt (chinese) is always commenting on how tall and pretty my sisters are, and how I am the one who look more like them, (small and asian looking). Also, before my siblings went to China for the 1st time both my chinese aunt and oncle were afraid they would get kidnapped or something, because of their looks. As for me nobody cared, because I am the most asian looking.. I know I shouldn't feel under-estimate for that, looking asian isn't bad in itself, but when Asians praise eurasian for their mixed european features I am less comprehensive. Not surprising then if a good number of eas have a feeling of superiority...
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Post by ladystacey on Jul 20, 2007 15:16:34 GMT -5
I'm the only EA in my family and pretty much all my moms friends don't have EA kids either but they were always comparing me to their daughters telling them how much smarter and more pretty I was, blah, blah, blah. I always felt so bad because in no way was I better and it was just plain stupid to say those things simply based on the fact that I was EA but with a crowd of loud pushy asian women I keep my mouth shut, it's deadly to not agree with whatever they are saying Although they look down on whites and the culture, etc I don't get them and gave up trying to make some logic to it all.
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Post by cewek on Jul 20, 2007 21:29:53 GMT -5
Oh- I just had an experience with this last Sunday! After some paddys cut price fruit n veg shopping etc we were waiting for the bus on george street, and my son spotted someone he knew from chinese school (also an ea as it happens) so they started talking in pokemonese to each other as 9 year olds do, and I was left with the duty of being a polite mum and doing the small talk with this other mum-man she was a point scorer! She couldn't take her son to China anymore because every person in China wanted to touch him and spoil him, he already has distinctions in school and is loved by the teacher, and anyway its so hard being back in china when you have married a westerner because the lifestyle is higher and its a division and not as equal as here etc etc etc . And she KEPT saying how it was hard to parent a good looking and smart child...and at least his nose was not as asian as hers. God that was depressing.I really am getting anti join in with those people.Its just too hard.
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Post by halfbreed on Jul 20, 2007 22:20:54 GMT -5
Fortunately, I'm the only Eurasian in my family.
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Post by cewek on Jul 20, 2007 22:57:12 GMT -5
you know I was thinking that I probably do exactly what that mum did but in reverse. I will have to really watch myself.
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Post by pandaroo on Jul 21, 2007 0:08:58 GMT -5
Good thing I know I'm not the only one who experiences this strange phenomenon. My mother has this terrible habit. OK, here's what happened the other day, when she met up with her brothers, sisters and in-laws (all of whom are Chinese and have EA offspring). Mum: "Suzanne,... so pretty! Although a bit fat now..... Sibyl is a beautiful model...... she is definately the prettiest!....Too bad Liz is not so pretty.... but her eyes, very Chinese..... Her boobs,... too big what a shame, got it from her white side. (to me) you don't look at all Chinese, dear." Me: "Why do you compare us like this? You know, it doesn't matter 'who's prettier than the other', mum!......." Mum: (totally ignores me and can't understand what my issue is)..... but Sibyl's jawline is very proniment.... almost masculine. Marc takes after his mother, he looks full Asian. Me: (Sighs and rolls eyes....) Mum: "Good now Sibyl has grown to a fine young lady....when she was little she was an ugly pale girl. Like a monkey." How degrading.
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Szymon Von Zalyn
Full Member
50% Polish of Prussian descent, 25% Italian, 25% kalmyk, but 100% English.
Posts: 367
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Post by Szymon Von Zalyn on Jul 21, 2007 6:30:57 GMT -5
I'm sure many of us fellow Eurasians here have experienced the anger and frustration when our Asian mothers, aunties, female family friends and even grandmothers have commented on 'who looks more pretty/handsome/attractive?' What happens is that they will talk about the appearance of our siblings and cousins who are also Eurasian. They discuss and debate and gossip over which one of us is prettier or more attractive than the other. Comparing us also to what features we have, in their opinions, looking more Asian/Euro, which sucks because it is totally subjective anyway. De-racialing us and commenting on our complexion, hair, eyes, etc. I hate it, and personally have experienced it myself. It always seems to be the female adults (being completely Asian themselves they don't know how to relate to being Eurasian or mixed). Sorry, I seem to be very angry on this thread but at least I'm getting some Eurasian frustration off my chest. I know how you feel as I have had over 30 years of it I think that parents should not make public which of their children is prettier, nicer eyes, more caucasian, less caucasian etc as it suggests that they might think that someone is more superior or less on the account of it Surely being human is enough, irrespective of how our parents would view us?
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Post by halfbreed on Jul 21, 2007 7:38:11 GMT -5
Good thing I know I'm not the only one who experiences this strange phenomenon. My mother has this terrible habit. OK, here's what happened the other day, when she met up with her brothers, sisters and in-laws (all of whom are Chinese and have EA offspring). Mum: "Suzanne,... so pretty! Although a bit fat now..... Sibyl is a beautiful model...... she is definately the prettiest!....Too bad Liz is not so pretty.... but her eyes, very Chinese..... Her boobs,... too big what a shame, got it from her white side. (to me) you don't look at all Chinese, dear." Me: "Why do you compare us like this? You know, it doesn't matter 'who's prettier than the other', mum!......." Mum: (totally ignores me and can't understand what my issue is)..... but Sibyl's jawline is very proniment.... almost masculine. Marc takes after his mother, he looks full Asian. Me: (Sighs and rolls eyes....) Mum: "Good now Sibyl has grown to a fine young lady....when she was little she was an ugly pale girl. Like a monkey." How degrading. Poor Liz.
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Post by avax on Jul 21, 2007 12:21:19 GMT -5
Sorry to hear this. We have the comparing also but I try not to pay attention to it. Disgruntling experience - when I went back to SEA, my great grandaunt scared the beejesus out of me by gripping my head in her old work-worn hands, scoured my face and finally said, "yes, she's one of us." She wouldn't stop touching my hair and rubbing my arm. It was a giant eurasian cult session.
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Post by BlackJack on Jul 21, 2007 20:52:57 GMT -5
Yes, my aunts do this with my brother and I all the time. I can’t stand it either. I guess I have more westernized features than he does. I have a big nose, more facial hair (I have to shave everyday or else I’ll go to work looking like a bum, but my brother can go weeks with out shaving). They always say how I look more western because I was the one born in the US so I have less Asian blood. Really silly indeed.
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Post by pandaroo on Jul 22, 2007 0:33:24 GMT -5
OMG that is pretty dumb! Being raised in one place has NOTHING to do with your genetic appearance! It wouldn't matter whether you were born in Asia or the 'West' - you'd still look the same.
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Post by penguinopolipitese on Jul 23, 2007 6:14:29 GMT -5
it has been decided. yongfook is the fairest of them all.
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Post by wibex on Jul 23, 2007 21:27:27 GMT -5
My aunties do it all the time. It doesn't really bother me because honestly, I'm so used to it.
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Post by meep on Jul 25, 2007 5:34:26 GMT -5
My cousin has a eurasian baby who is about 2... my chinese side of the family compare us a lot and apparently they choose me over her because I was more adorable a baby... *rolls eyes* Just because we both happen to be eurasian they decide to compare. SO IMMATURE!
Yeah, I am kinda glad I dont have siblings.
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