You know you're Asian if...

[oldb0y]

I removed my own ingrowing-toenail (after first seeking treatment for the infection of course). But, then again, I AM a med student, so I suppose it's not quite the same. ^^;;

[DrFaust]

He removed a cyst from my brother's arm with a kitchen knife. It took a while because it was more attached to the tissue than we thought.
And then once I had this bad infection in my throat with a pus pocket on one of the tonsils. He lanced it with a sharp piece of metal and my gag reflex kicked in which caused the hot metal to burn the inside of my mouth. It was a mess but it got rid of the infection.

[oldb0y]

....
Doctor's warning kids, DON'T try what he did ^^;;;

Seriously, that's the sort of thing I really recommend seeing a doctor for - the risk of infection is just too great^^;;;

[helles]

lol, yes. My mum removed this infected boil from my stomach when I was about 9, she did the whole, disinfect the needle by heating it up over the stove etc. and the began digging away at my boil and squeezing out the puss. I screamed the place down, not the best when you're living in a block of flats, it sounded like I was being murdered or attacked or sth, funny how nooone called the police to check though.

I still have the scar on my stomach.

[moo]

gold. a good read

[manni]

My mum removed a massive piece of glass from my foot, after numbing it with topical anesthetic so proceeded to cut into my foot with some sterile (what looked like) nail scissors.

My mother WAS a secretary with some training as a dressmaker...not really the same as a Med student...at least she numbed the area first.

[david]

drfaust said:

He removed a cyst from my brother's arm with a kitchen knife. It took a while because it was more attached to the tissue than we thought.
And then once I had this bad infection in my throat with a pus pocket on one of the tonsils. He lanced it with a sharp piece of metal and my gag reflex kicked in which caused the hot metal to burn the inside of my mouth. It was a mess but it got rid of the infection.

LOL....DIY surgery!

Sounds like you had quinsy...or tonsillar abscess. The correct treatment is to lance it. I aspirate the copious pus with a large needle and syringe after spraying the area with a local anaesthtetic. But yes...best to have a doctor do it.

[...austhai/...]

DIY surgery I love it
I need a brow lift some tucking here and there.....
j/k

i loved those stories

[muzo]

y2j said:

"You know you're Asian if . . . ."

1. Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
2. Your dad is some sort of engineer
3. Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
4. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing
5. You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
6. You shop 99 Ranch
7. Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors were from
8. You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
9. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
10. You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
11. Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
12. You drive mostly Japanese cars.
13. You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
14. You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hotdogs.
15. At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius say . . . "
16. You know what bok choy is
17. You've ever gotten little red envelopes around February
18. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
19. You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every time someone calls you. (e.g., Jean- ee - yah! or Mary - yah!).
20. You have NO eyelashes.
21. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular: "ching chong"
23. The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
24. Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
25. At least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses
26. Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native country), we studied even more."
27. Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
28. An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
29. Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
30. Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!
31. Everyone thinksyou're good at math.
32. Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yahs and Wah's"
33. You like $1.75 movies
34. You like $1.50 movies even more
35. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.
36. Your parents insist you marry within your race.
37. You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.
38. You either really, really want to go to UCI or really, really want to stay away from it.
39. Your parents have never kissed you
40. Your parents have never kissed each other
41. You learned about the birds and the bees from someone other thanyour parents
42. "You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
43. People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask you to translate.
44. You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle"
45. You have 12+ aunts and uncles
46. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
47. Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
48. The vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses (Thick glasses).
49. You will most likely be taller than your parents.
50. Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.
51. You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't
52. When going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
53. Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top
54. Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both.
55. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e., Michael Chang)
56. The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
57. You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
58. You own a rice cooker or two.
59. You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
60. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
61. Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
62. Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."

Anyone else recieve this e-mail before? I kept it for months.

its pretty stupid to moan about how white people r generalizing asians when that list does exactly that.
and it should rather be "you know you're chinese if..."

[Micha]

^But that also applies to Koreans, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese etc. (well, in the stereotypical sense) anyone with remotely Asian features are automatically Chinese - like in a restaurant I overheard,

''Isn't Japanese to Chinese just like what a Scottish accent is to a British accent?''

''Yeah, yeah, I guess so..''

[magpie]

OMG! That is so like my family!!! Especially about the decor of the house not matching. My house is so mismatched that it looks like it's having an arguement all by itself! Drives me crazy! We also use those plastic store grocery bags as trash bags.....my mother-in-law also had me hang up my notebook with my expenditures in it in plain view.......(I think that's so she and her friend can look at it.) ......We also have a compartment for all our chopsticks in the silverware drawer, which is cool.......Then there's my son's martial arts weapons all over the house, which I can't understand why they are so against Kung Fu.......The pictures are hung almost up near the ceiling instead of eye level.....We house crickets inside containers in the house during the summer, instead of lightning bugs......Our garden has unidentified vegetables that all taste like spinach......There's dried mushrooms in the pantry at all times.....All our pots have black/burnt bottoms.....

[countingcrows247]

magpie said:

OMG! That is so like my family!!! Especially about the decor of the house not matching. My house is so mismatched that it looks like it's having an arguement all by itself! Drives me crazy! We also use those plastic store grocery bags as trash bags.....my mother-in-law also had me hang up my notebook with my expenditures in it in plain view.......(I think that's so she and her friend can look at it.) ......We also have a compartment for all our chopsticks in the silverware drawer, which is cool.......Then there's my son's martial arts weapons all over the house, which I can't understand why they are so against Kung Fu.......The pictures are hung almost up near the ceiling instead of eye level.....We house crickets inside containers in the house during the summer, instead of lightning bugs......Our garden has unidentified vegetables that all taste like spinach......There's dried mushrooms in the pantry at all times.....All our pots have black/burnt bottoms.....

do you lived in a clown house magpie? haha, but yeah its time to kick out the in laws unless they clean the house and take care of everything.. haha jk

[magpie]

So true smurf. It's too hard to kick her out though when she starts the "crying thing" then continues to the "insult thing" I'm thinking about sending into that "Monster House" show, since it would probably look better letting them decorate it.

[chunkmuffin]

magpie said:

We also use those plastic store grocery bags as trash bags.....

hehe! yepp.. We use those grocery store plastic bags as trash bags too. Didn't know it was typical asian

[Thir Jiang Li]

HAHA!! oh my god, that's so true it's scary! Many of these things even applies to my dad, and he's Norwegian!

I got another one once:

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE AN ASIAN?

1. You probably have an urn for your relatives that have passed away.

2. You don’t have matching bedding.

3. If you’re Korean your last name is either Kim, Park, Choi, Shin or Lee.

4. You don’t have matching dishes.

5. At least one person in your family owns or knows how to use a sewing machine.

6. You don’t have matching hangers in your closet.

7. If your Vietnamese than your last name is either Nguyen or Tran.

8. You have or have had a fish tank in your living room.

9. You’re a price club member.

10. You never really bought a calendar in your life; you always got free ones with movie stars.

11. You’ve been to Cabramatta at least once in your life.

12. You’re amused when American think Chinese fast food is good.

13. If you’re Korean you may have tow refrigerators.

14. You dilute your dishwater soap with water when your running out so it’ll last a little longer.

15. You don’t really own Tupperware, you store food in bowls or pots covered in plastic wrap.

16. I f your Vietnamese you have a bottle of “nouc mam” (fish sauce) in your refrigerator.

17. You feel awkward when someone asks you to leave their shoes on in their house.

18. If you have a dog, you feed it left over rice with some food instead of real dog food.

19. Someone in your family has a fixed up Honda/ Acura.

20. You have something to cover your kitchen table to keep it clean.

21. If you’re Chinese, you kiss up to relatives when it comes to new year.

22. You collect and recycle for extra money.

23. If you’re Korean, you have at least on bottle og Kim Chee in your refrigerator.

24. If your Vietnamese, every other word is “dau ma”

25. You’ll spend for bran name clothes but keep condiments form fats food places.

26. You have instant noodles in your house.

27. You can’t go more then 5 days without rice.

28. You’ve had at least one haircut from your mum or dad.

29. You don’t really own a mop; you just use an old t-shirt instead.

30. You haste it when your parents boil Chinese herbs because it stinks.

31. If you’re Vietnamese, you probably know at least one Lynda trang dai song.

32. You have lup chung (Chinese sausage) in your fridge.

33. You have owned the same vacuum cleaner for more then 5 years,

34. You only drink soup from Chinese spoons not American spoons.

35. You work out so hard but still look like the average Asian.

36. You eat spaghetti at home with chopsticks.

37. If your Chinese, you’ve probably seen “goo, wak, jai”

38. You like Jackie Chan

39. You have at least one relative within an hour drive.

40. You’ll forward this to your Asian friends.

41. Your mother has a short, curly perm.

42. You dad is some sort of engineer.

43. Your parents have tried to get you into places half- price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.

44. You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they’re still lecturing.

45. You have a 40lb bag of rice in your pantry.

46. You shop at Cabramatta.

47. Everyone thinks your “Chinese” no matter what part of Asia your ancestors came from.

48. You’ve has a bowl haircut at one point of your life.

49. Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friend’s kids.

50. You parents say, “Don’t forget your heritage”.

51. You drive mostly japans cars.

52. You’ve learned to keep bargaining even if prices are rock bottom.

53. You’ve eaten parts of animals they don’t even put in hot dogs.

54. At least once, you’ve told a joke with “Confucius say……..”

55. You know what bok choy is.

56. You’ve ever gotten red envelopes around February.

57. Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.

58. You hear ( your name + eeee(optional) + yah!) everyone time someone calls you. (e.g Mary –ee- yah!)

59. You have NO eyelashes.

60. Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever so popular ching chong chong

61. Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.

62. The bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea cucumbers, octopi) was last nights dinner.

63. Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.

64. At least one or your family member wears black wire/ plastic frame glasses.

65. Your parents hover over your tried, caffeine-drugged body t 12 midnight to say, “In Korea (or other native country), we studies even more”.

66. Your parents expect you to be best friends with anyone off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.

67. Your relatives house smell like incense, moth balls or both.

68. You parents say, “Calculus, I took calculus in 8th grade

69. Everyone thinks that you’re good at MATH.

70. Your parent’s vocabulary is filled with “Ai-yahs and Wahs”.

71. Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing form Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that don’t make sense, in great colours like yellow, pink, orange and ever so popular lime green.

72. Your parent’s insist that you marry within your race.

73. You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation oriental food.

74. You either really want to go to Uni, or really, really stay away from it.

75. Your parents have never kissed you.

76. Your parents have never kissed each other.

77. You learned about the birds and bees from someone other than your parents.

78. “You want a stereo!”, “When I was your age I didn’t even have shoes”

79. People see a bunch of scribbles on your chopstick and ask fro a translation.

80. You have to call just about all parents friends “Aunty or Uncle”.

81. You have 12+ aunts and uncles.

82. At expensive, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.

83. The vast majority of people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.

84. You’re taller than both of your parents.

85. Your parents have either made you ply the piano, violin or both.

86. You get nothing when you do good at school, but crapped on if you don’t.

87. When going to other people’s house you always have to bring a gift.

88. Your dad pulls his socks up to his knees, the ones with the blue and oink stripes at the top.

89. Your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs or both.

90. Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete.

91. The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.

92. You have rocks, sticks, leave and all sorts of unknown substances in your house for the use as medicines.

93. You own 2 rice cookers (one that works and the other your father swears at for the past ten years, its repairable and should not be thrown away)

94. You buy Soya sauce by the gallon.

95. Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.

96. Your parent’s tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country and how much they appreciated going.

97. Your parents buy you clothe sand shoes many sizes too big so you can “grow into” and wear fro years to come.

98. Your parents ask your teachers for more homework.

99. You scavenge round for discount coupons.