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Post by DivaDancerLara on Nov 18, 2008 10:01:36 GMT -5
Do you still deal with the drama and sad emotions of past relationships?
Still angry?
....Still pinning?
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Nov 18, 2008 10:19:46 GMT -5
No, not really. I think that every time I've fallen in love that it shaped me, taught me this or that, changed my personality (for good and bad both), etc...but no, I'm not really affected anymore. I probably would still be angry if I thought about any of them, but they don't come into my thoughts often. I'm still pissed at the last guy I went out with, but we didn't go out for very long and I'm already starting to recover. What brought this on, are you pissed/pining for someone?  |
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Nov 18, 2008 14:10:22 GMT -5
^too many hahhahaha
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Post by EA Observer on Nov 18, 2008 14:24:17 GMT -5
One needs to critically assess first what caused one's heart to be broken, before seeking (undeserved) sympathy or empathy from others.
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Nov 18, 2008 16:11:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you'll feel better though. Sometimes I get into those really melancholy moods too where I start remembering stuff I shouldn't remember and dredging up stale feelings for stale exes...I usually do that when I'm bored...inflicting emotional turmoil on yourself beats a boardgame on a rainy day. ;D |
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Nov 18, 2008 16:15:15 GMT -5
One needs to critically assess first what caused one's heart to be broken, before seeking (undeserved) sympathy or empathy from others. Hello this is just disscussion no intension but just disccussion Hey lets not turn psychologist on me (although tx for the sympathy Tampon..). I am fine. I just wanted to see if people had this experience. |
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Post by alphamikefoxtrot on Nov 18, 2008 19:06:15 GMT -5
Well, my last relationship was the hardest cuz it was the longest and the most involved (and recent), so it generates the most melancholy when I think about it. And it's not that I want to be with that person still or again, but the memories of what we had are bittersweet. It's a tiny bit like death (to me) -- the person she was to me is gone.  |
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Post by swinger on Nov 18, 2008 21:34:20 GMT -5
Time heals all wounds. No haunting here.
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quiapo
Junior Member
Posts: 188
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Post by quiapo on Nov 18, 2008 22:59:01 GMT -5
Would it help to realize that they also would feel a loss, that sometimes, the memories of the relaitonship would come back and bite them?
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Nov 20, 2008 16:14:42 GMT -5
Would it help to realize that they also would feel a loss, that sometimes, the memories of the relaitonship would come back and bite them? its hard to believe that when they act cruel and say bad things about you or you see them in pictures having fun with some girl/guy sitting on their lap ;D how could you ever believe that when they are alone they think about you. |
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Post by Paddy on Nov 20, 2008 19:29:10 GMT -5
I have to admit that I often think about my exes, though perhaps I'm not 'haunted' by them. My relationships have all lasted a number of years - only one was less than a year. I don't pine for them, but my memories of the past are so associated with who I was with at the time. My experiences with my exes have definitely affected the way I approach relationships. The ones in the past always feel like failures to some degree, and I always hold myself responsible for the way these relationships soured. On the other hand, I never regret breaking up with them. I know I wouldn't be happy if I'd stayed with any of them. I'd like to think I'm a better boyfriend now than I ever was in the past. In general terms, I think I am more considerate.
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Nov 21, 2008 0:37:06 GMT -5
Do you ever feel someone could care less about you and you have or are moving on with your life but (s)he expects you to pine for them?  Definitely feel ya there, though I find it worse when they are pining and you're not. It's always the ones that I don't want to remember me that remember me. Either I'm pining or they're pining, it's never a mutual pine. Well, I don't think so anyway. I guess sometimes you don't know if someone's pining, it's not liked they'd call you up after the break up to say "Hey, know what I'm doing right now? I'm sitting here crying into my glass of wine pining over YOU!" The funny thing is, I don't know why, but I think I have some kind of stalker-attracting quality. It's never the guys that I want, but then who would want a stalker? It's like...sometimes I go out with a guy a couple times, or just meet a guy and exchange numbers...and then the guy is still hounding me months (or in one instant years) later, even though we hardly even knew each other. I don't know what the hell that's about.  |
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quiapo
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Post by quiapo on Nov 21, 2008 0:49:23 GMT -5
Tampon Patrol - sometimes people persist when they dont know you, and the fantasy takes over; all relationships are fantasies in the beginning, and often that is when they burn brightest. The guys that dont know you and hang around are under the spell of the fantasy, which you know, has little to do with who you really are.
About pining, so much can be said about relative attachment bonds, and the tension between need and love, and our different capacities for each, as we lose ourselves in each deep relationship.
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Nov 21, 2008 3:04:12 GMT -5
Hmmm...that just made me think of something...maybe that's the best way to rid oneself of stalkers! Probably they wouldn't obsess over me if they really got to know me in all my normal day to day bulls***. I mean, I can't ever seem to hold a man down in relationship form...so maybe the way to get rid of stalkers is to DATE them.  |
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quiapo
Junior Member
Posts: 188
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Post by quiapo on Nov 21, 2008 3:10:27 GMT -5
You seem to be suffering from some collateral damage of low self esteem, with all the perceived rejection. You have been unlucky; sometimes we tend to find excitment with such inappropirate people, and rarely we are doomed to only be attracted to people who are inappropriate partners.
I am not so sure that you should date stalkers, as some of them can be quite pathological; some of them cannot cope with the disillusionment and persist in creating you according to their fantasies . .or else!
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