|
Post by Paddy on Dec 25, 2008 7:43:14 GMT -5
Here's my 2 cents. When it comes to the guy, looks don't matter, just the size of certain appendages have to be rather large in order for me to be attracted to them. How many 'appendages' does your guy need?? You're even more demanding than kyu-ree! Or are you just saying that he has to have bigger-than-average...you know...arms and legs?
|
|
|
Post by jeepin4x4girl on Dec 25, 2008 10:25:50 GMT -5
Here's my 2 cents. When it comes to the guy, looks don't matter, just the size of certain appendages have to be rather large in order for me to be attracted to them. How many 'appendages' does your guy need?? You're even more demanding than kyu-ree! Or are you just saying that he has to have bigger-than-average...you know...arms and legs? Just one "appendage" has to be of larger size, and I'm not talkin his arms or legs either.
|
|
|
Post by jeepin4x4girl on Dec 25, 2008 10:27:21 GMT -5
"Men fall in love with the women they are attracted to, while women become attracted to the men they fall in love with." Or something like that. It's a generalization to be sure. That is SOOOO friggin true...
|
|
|
Post by alisa on Dec 26, 2008 0:04:56 GMT -5
Heh I guess for me I just keep raising my standards, and don't bother looking anymore. Raising your standards also means you'll be closing yourself off from many encounters but to balance things up - raising the standards of YOURSELF helps. As when I was young someone taught me that "It's not finding the right person, it's being the right person", and those words have been in my heart since then, though only when I matured I learnt the full meaning of it. Besides, it's a fact that fantastic women exist, but they ARE fantastic -> which means, they deserve someone fantastic as well. Which means -> before you judge yourself to be better then the women you've dated, first, check the mirror And so I've learnt the true meaning of what my friend taught me. Besides I don't like the idea of anyone being 'out of my league'. I have the blood of conquerors, and I want the very best. Settling for any less screwed me up big time. That's fantastic advice! I've been trying to live by this for years, but it is very difficult because it requires a substantial amount of self confidence to be able to pull it off, which I struggle with, but still very very sound advice.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Dec 26, 2008 6:39:09 GMT -5
@flat Top Heh I wouldn't call that shallow at all. Are attractive people shallow when they reject unattractive people? I would say no. Besides what's the point of having a relationship if sexual desire does not exist at all, it would be love out of pity, something I learnt the hard way to avoid at all costs. Same with sexual 'ability' In the end it must be real love or it's just a waste of time AND finances. alisaHeh I've been trying too, it is difficult but it gets easier once it becomes a habitual frame of thought. My father once taught me at a young age as well, responsibility is one of the most important attributes of a man. Thus, taking responsibility for all my mistakes, as well as success, allows me to learn from both. And from such knowledge, I can take action to prevent further mistakes or continue success. It's not just in relationships that this applies to I guess. In every aspect of life it is applicable
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Dec 26, 2008 15:48:16 GMT -5
Friends are friends Besides your partner should be a close friend as well in my opinion. That was the foundation of my current relationship, but the sexual lust between us kinda well, got out of hand =/
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Dec 26, 2008 16:02:24 GMT -5
Friends are important, but not the same in my opinion. For example, after a break up who is there to turn to for comfort? Only your mates. As for me, well I'm still planning to have sex in my 80s Just have the lights off and some viagra if needed hehe. I agree however that in western culture everything is sex-related, relationships are mostly about sex. But when you find passion and intimacy, that's when sex becomes something else.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Dec 26, 2008 16:13:13 GMT -5
Heh that's impossible, personally I think I've reached the peak in terms of quality with my current. Only complaint I have at times is that she needs a bit more of a 'bad girl' attitude sometimes, but so far she satisfies me in a hundred ways and more. Besides, I'm quite emotionally attached, which means, to me, she's already perfect ne ways
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Dec 26, 2008 16:39:24 GMT -5
Thank you Guess I'm very lucky, just hope it lasts cause I've never been in this deep before.
|
|
|
Post by sim on Dec 29, 2008 4:34:42 GMT -5
1. generally considered unattractive but I find them attractive- why not. It's what I think and feel that counts.
2. Just plain unattractive? Um, no. It's all part of the package.
If you're not attracted to them, what makes them differ from a close friend or sibling?
|
|
|
Post by admin on Jan 22, 2009 22:43:05 GMT -5
I think the longer you plan on keeping someone, the more personality matters. Maybe getting older has people looking for more stable, longer-term relationships? I meant that in general - not saying it applies to you, Hyena. Although it might. But not necessarily.
|
|
|
Post by ahliang on Jan 26, 2009 0:40:35 GMT -5
i doubt anyone would ever date someone they thought was unattractive...if physically unattractive, then personality had to make up for their physical "unattractiveness" and therefore still made them attractive to their significant others.
i find aesthetic canons not to be as meaningful as regarded by the greeks...not saying it s entirely shallow but the reason why the "art for art's sake" movement did not last is because beauty without content is no more beautiful than a chair on which you cannot sit would be useful. thus why in our time and age--although i find that very few pieces actually "talk" to me--conceptual art exists. the meaning and content wins over traditional canons of aesthetics. love, in my humble opinion, should be the same. do you love your parents because of their looks? no...if you wish to build a lasting relationship with someone, i would think their "content" to win over their appearance.
would i date someone unattractive? no... but then would i dismiss Yves Klein s art because it doesn t come in a nice package with a big bow on top? certainly not... beauty is in the eye of the beholder. the ugliest painting to you could be the most beautiful to me depending on how i read it. you can t separate the content from the form.
|
|
Ikuzo
New Member
Posts: 19
|
Post by Ikuzo on Mar 1, 2009 5:15:55 GMT -5
(WARNING: Rant detected, continual reading may cause eye blurriness.)
I'll agree with Ahliang on the fact that Beauty is not a standard it's a state of preference.
So far in the poll it seems guy's prefer good looking women over not unattractive ones, I can admit I am in the larger majority.
TRUE FACT: Every human being woman or man WOULD preferably have a good looking partner.
The reason why close to half of the polls for women are "looks aren't important" I can only assume that the people that voted had the mindset of "But personality is a must too, looks is after that".
Which is true, very true. I prefer personality also over looks, BUT I prefer MORE if they had PERSONALITY and LOOKS. Call it what you like but I'm sure 99.99% of you out there feel the same way, I have never really heard someone say "NO! I want an ugly lover."
A pretty face with dead fish for a personality maybe good for physical things but conversations with people like that die so quickly, chances of me dating them would be non-existant. An ugly face with a killer personality sadly the truth is just because of that one factor of looks a person like that may not be able to enjoy the experience of being in a relationship, but if they are lucky they might find someone who can look past their outter beauty. Which there are plenty of people out there who do so.
But is it just me or is it women are more likely to date unattractive men with great personalities, then men to date unattractive women with great personalities. Why?
Probably because what a woman really wants is a lover to provide all the emotional and spiritual aspects of a relationship like a caring, provider, understanding, sweet and so on w.e mixture you prefer. And if you could find a good looker with those characteristics well you won't let such a catch slip away too easily.
I know countless of girls who have just dated for looks and majority BIG majority have ended in rivers of tears and a bit of blood. Eventually they learn (i hope) and think to themselves "God this feels so empty" and most likely will bag the next "nice" guy that walks by them and be surprised how longer this relationship will last compared to all their other 'hunky good looking bastards of a ex's'
I've never really heard this from guys cause well usually we are the 'bastards' or the 'inconsiderate prick' but personally I believe we get over emotional grief much quicker then women (or at least for me). Or males just don't tend to talk about this kind of issue to other males (or just me O.o).
For most males its the looks that get our attention first, then the personality. For less attractive women either wouldn't be given a chance, or not enough effort put into getting to know them and maybe discovering their great personality. Most of the effort would probably be invested in finding that good looker with that desirable personality. But hey some guys aren't like that they just make friends with anyone and try to get to know everyone, and even develop feelings for that not so pretty girl.
But when it comes down to 'love 101' what makes it all possible is that certain bond. May it be an emotional bond, physical bond or both. For me its both, but personally my view of love/dating is "If it feels right do it, if it doesn't dont." I've never dated an unattractive person but I'm not saying I never will I don't know that for sure, and plus that ATTRACTIVE person may be UNATTRACTIVE to other guys/girls.
But screw em its what you think that counts not them =3.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Mar 3, 2009 3:08:04 GMT -5
Well for some people good looks can be intimidating as well
|
|
|
Post by amalgam on Mar 3, 2009 4:38:21 GMT -5
I hear girls that are insecure tend to not go for (even though they want) good looking guys because they feel they can't match up. In the words of my best friend, "I don't wanna go for guys hotter than me because I'll just get dumped"... Quite silly really.
|
|