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Post by Groink on Jun 1, 2009 12:45:42 GMT -5
ahem, don't mind me i've had 5..maybe more.. near death experiences. seriously if i didn't, i probably would be the same as you. carpe diem Auto-erotic asphyxiation doesn't count. ;D
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celltocell
Full Member
get your blood moving
Posts: 218
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Post by celltocell on Jun 1, 2009 13:19:55 GMT -5
So is it better to love and lost than never been loved before? fei... loving someone and BEING loved are two completely different things. i'd rather be loved then love someone.
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celltocell
Full Member
get your blood moving
Posts: 218
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Post by celltocell on Jun 1, 2009 13:38:30 GMT -5
well it's cute now that you two are together and i can see myself finding it hilarious that i stole someone from someone else if i were in your wife's position because it worked out but...... i dunno. i wouldnt mess with someone else's man. ever. he needs to be single for me to mingle. that's just me though. as for friends, i admit to acknowledging the "attractiveness" of majority of my male friends but that's as far is it'll go. acknowledgement. you can NOTICE if someone is attractive yet not be attracted to em romantically. that's how i am with my man friends. yes, they are beautiful / hot. im happy for my friends that aren't swamp creatures. would i sleep with them? ofcourse not, we're friends. ^ I agree, it's a modifier than direct quality Forbidden fruit, ironic that both me and my wife were lured by each other's inavailability when we were just friends. Hilarious how she stole me from my ex as well haha, oh hell good times... (hell she denies it so well! It's so cute!)
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Post by Paddy on Jun 1, 2009 13:39:55 GMT -5
i'd rather be loved then love someone. I know a lot of women who have said this. And it works well for fei if all he wants is to love! I can't say which I'd prefer; to love or be loved. I'd want have my cake and eat it; to love and be loved. Always was a greedy bugger. Do other women here feel the same way as Cell? I think it can easily be construed as some kind of insecurity...but it's not, is it. Is it?
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fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
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Post by fei on Jun 1, 2009 14:15:26 GMT -5
So is it better to love and lost than never been loved before? fei... loving someone and BEING loved are two completely different things. i'd rather be loved then love someone. I would like to agree with on this, but each of us carries inside us an ideal, either of what we would like to become,or of what we want another person to be for us. This ideal goes back to our earliest years,to what we once felt was missing in our lives,what others did not give to us, what we could not give to ourselves. Our ideal is something we feel is missing inside us.If another person seems to have that ideal quality, or to have the ability to bring it out in us, we fall in love. That is the response to Ideal Love. Attuned to what is missing inside you, to the fantasy that will stir you, they reflect your ideal and projecting on to them your deepest desires and yearnings Being in and out of love alot of time, i came into deep thougth of to love and to be loved. i just a guy who finding for my princess to be queen of heart but so far been kiss alot of toad along the way.
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celltocell
Full Member
get your blood moving
Posts: 218
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Post by celltocell on Jun 1, 2009 14:20:56 GMT -5
Hrm, Insecurity? Dunno if this has to do with insecurity. Maybe? Probably. Let's just say I had my share of being the one having the upper hand in relationships. I got a taste of what it felt like to be rejected though and I wasn't too thrilled. It hurt me a lot. A. LOT. I was bummed for a while. Way too long, infact. Being loved feels better than loving someone who does not give a rat's a** about you. Makes sense, does it not? Maybe it is my insecurity. Everyone is a little insecure though, right? I've got really great friends who I know care about me a lot... it's definitely shown. I know my mother, despite being difficult at times, loves me hands down. But the way your friends or family feel about you is different. It's not better, it isn't worse... just different. Love is just awesome, y'know? Anyhow, where was I going with this? ...I am a passionate person and the intensity your significant other feels for you... you don't get that same love from your best friends. You don't get the same kind from your momma or poppa either. And yes, it feels like total CRAP when someone who matters to you and who you genuienly care about doesn't even give a damn if you're alive or not. But whatever. You live. You learn. Everyone goes through rejection. And that everyone includes me, you... it includes the postman... the dude who sells me water at 711 with the chipped front tooth... everyone. Maybe not Brad Pitt though. That beautiful jerk could probably even seduce any straight man. Actually, Johnny Depp would have a better chance with heterosexual dudes. He's got that allure where "all girls want to be with him and all the fellas want to BE him" thing going on. Perhaps even be IN him. A lot of my straight man friends tell me they'd bat for Depp. Anyway I don't want to give off the impression of being a lonely desperate fool. I'm happy to say that I feel more liberated. I think with my head more than my heart now... (used to be the other way around). It just got to the point where I realized how stupid I was being for sticking around and putting myself out there 100%. By doing so, I allowed myself to be dumped on repeatidly. It made me look desperate and I wasn't, I had no reason or need to be. I just did not know how to handle being rejected before. And well, yeah, I really did unconditionally care for this person. Despite being kicked to the curb and everything, anger and bitterness aside... I really do hope the best for him. Anyway celltocell is a ok now! I just tend to learn my lessons.... the EXTREMELY difficult way due to being so unrealistic at times. i'd rather be loved then love someone. I know a lot of women who have said this. And it works well for fei if all he wants is to love! I can't say which I'd prefer; to love or be loved. I'd want have my cake and eat it; to love and be loved. Always was a greedy bugger. Do other women here feel the same way as Cell? I think it can easily be construed as some kind of insecurity...but it's not, is it. Is it?
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Post by Paddy on Jun 1, 2009 15:29:38 GMT -5
Everyone goes through rejection. And that everyone includes me, you... it includes the postman... the dude who sells me water at 711 with the chipped front tooth... everyone. Maybe not Brad Pitt though. That beautiful jerk could probably even seduce any straight man. Actually, Johnny Depp would have a better chance with heterosexual dudes. He's got that allure where "all girls want to be with him and all the fellas want to BE him" thing going on. Perhaps even be IN him. A lot of my straight man friends tell me they'd bat for Depp. I hope my mum rejected the postman. Have always wondered about my dad and me ;D And Johnny Depp - I'm more likely to get turned by a real man. Stray - you're a cynical 32 year old. I'm a less cynical 32 year old. I understand Cell's comments and how rejection can influence the desire to just be loved and be done with it. I've never felt this way. I have always been with girls who loved me and it was me who never returned this love in equal measures. I've always wanted a heart-stopping love affair - like I've always wanted a life-threatening bodily orgasm (not joking!). I'm just too in control of myself. I can't let my heart of the leash. My astrologer said that I have a strong empathy with other people, but that I lack self-emotion. I still don't know what that really means - but I interpret it to mean that I'm not good at looking after the welfare of my heart. I want to love!! This is bad news for my girl. I need to do something about this (heart operation rather than get a new girl...she's great).
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Post by Subuatai on Jun 1, 2009 18:29:20 GMT -5
well it's cute now that you two are together and i can see myself finding it hilarious that i stole someone from someone else if i were in your wife's position because it worked out but...... i dunno. Heh we were strictly just friends for 6 months, we didn't have any intention of pursuing each other while I was with my ex. However, we still became best friends in the process, we had a lot in common and she was real fun. My ex got rather jealous, and to be honest my ex did play her part in getting us together ironically, chucking jealous fits, making me promise not to see her and threatening my wife (friend at that time) not to talk to me or call me anymore. That sparked the flame, heh quite the irony.
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nakanaka
New Member
O(≧▽≦)O ワーイ♪
Posts: 47
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Post by nakanaka on Jun 1, 2009 21:36:51 GMT -5
nakanaka: some background info would help. How old are? What kind/grade of school do you attend? well i'm 16... and I go to one of those kinda preppy public high schools in Toronto; I'm just finishing grade 10... @palaver I agree that falling MAY have been the wrong word to use, but I think that it's wrong to say that all teenagers are guided into relationships solely by lust, and that isn't an issue when people get older. Maybe lust is part of teenage relationships, but I don't think that it is the only factor... at least I'm certain that lust wasn't the deciding factor in any of my crushes... Thanks everyone for the advice~~ ;D
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Post by Nikki on Jun 1, 2009 22:20:49 GMT -5
So is it better to love and lost than never been loved before? fei... loving someone and BEING loved are two completely different things. i'd rather be loved then love someone. Ahhh, that's interesting. I kind of wish that I could be one of those people who could settle (I don't mean for that to sound patronizing) for just being loved. It sounds weird, but I kind of feel like I'd prefer to have to work for it in a way, and to have someone that challenges me. If it's too easy, I feel as thought I don't deserve it or something. This is all very juvenile thinking and hopefully I'll grow out of it one day. But having all the emotion showered on me, and having mediocre feelings the other way? Nah, I can't do that. Have to be invested both ways. Not fair to the other person otherwise.
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Post by stray on Jun 1, 2009 23:51:48 GMT -5
Not juvenile. You're basically saying the same as me. I think. Not exactly, but two way street and all that. I never consciously thought about it before this thread though. It's just what I want. I'm fairly sure I'm not idealistic. I know at least three couples who seem to have it. They even sort of look like each other.. Anyone met people like that? Not that I'd go after someone who looks like me. I tried that once, and she had like permanent PMS or something. Then again, maybe I do too. Ah, lost opportunity maybe? Doubtful. -_-
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Post by ahliang on Jun 2, 2009 0:22:28 GMT -5
Nope, i never fall for someone who is unavailable. *cough* *choke* *cough* ;D ...naaah, k/d. i would think everyone's that has ever "crushed" (not loved, since we re still in the "falling" phase) on someone has been through this. and i pretty much agree with all that s been said here up until now: from the allure of the forbidden fruit, to the reason why one could be unavailable, to most people tending to prefer being loved than loving someone and to having to love someone rather than just being loved for that love to really show through and impact you......all of what has been stated, i agree with. nakanaka, you seem in good hands here!
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Post by palaver on Jun 2, 2009 3:38:26 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for the advice~~ ;D So, are you going to suppress your desire or knock off her man? There is an easier way. Just push the button on the back of your head. Every Eurasian comes equipped with one. I can't tell you what it does. It depends on your mix, but it can solve your problem. You should be able to find it. You're about that age.
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Post by jenbrook on Jun 2, 2009 4:03:32 GMT -5
Nope, i never fall for someone who is unavailable. *cough* *choke* *cough* ;D ...naaah, k/d. i would think everyone's that has ever "crushed" (not loved, since we re still in the "falling" phase) on someone has been through this. and i pretty much agree with all that s been said here up until now: from the allure of the forbidden fruit, to the reason why one could be unavailable, to most people tending to prefer being loved than loving someone and to having to love someone rather than just being loved for that love to really show through and impact you......all of what has been stated, i agree with. nakanaka, you seem in good hands here! HAHAHA nail on the head dearest, you know i'm guilty of crushing on people who are not available, but usually my head snaps back to reality and i realise.. oh wait, i'm putting my head into a noose.. willingly@!! I'm the opposite, i dole my love out onto people whether they know it or not. I do like being loved too, but i think i have pent up love or something like that. Now that i'm off relationships, i'm loving stray cats instead.. sitting with them for hours, feeding/stroking them, talking to them.. i sound like i have a case of the crazies dont i.
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fei
Full Member
Posts: 274
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Post by fei on Jun 3, 2009 11:12:38 GMT -5
Life is short, and should not be wasted pursuing and seducing the wrong people. The choice of target is critical; it is the set up of the seduction and it will determine everything else that follows. The perfect person does not have certain facial features, or the same taste in music, or similar goals in life. That is how a person chooses his or her targets. The perfect person is the person who stirs you in a way that cannot be explained in words, whose effect on you has nothing to do with superficialities. He or she often has a quality that you yourself lack, and may even secretly envy
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