Name change and identity

[jenbrook]

I'd love to combine my english and my chinese name but they're both so loooonnggg, three english names and three chinese characters.. So i keep my english name and my chinese name is tattooed down my back and i look at it lovingly sometimes and i just like the feeling thats its there, as a part of me. I never want to forget how the characters look/sound and i never want to forget the chinese side of me, the more endearing side that knew poverty and political rife.

[Paddy]

Hmm...funny. The idea of have a tattoo of my Chinese name is quite appealing, but I wouldn't dream of doing the same with my English name - like sewing a name-tag into my skin.

Few years back, I was on a Chinese train with a French friend of mine.
A Chinese lads starts chatting with us; finds out we're British and French respectively.

He asks my friend his name:
"Damian."
"Oh, is that your English name?"
"No, it's my French name."

[jefe]

^ I am sure you have heard equally ridiculous conversations in every country you have ever been to.

Jun 29, 2009 13:38:35 GMT -5 Paddy said:

Well, I was going to pass on your words verbatim, but looks like I'm going to have to make something up!

Anyway, you are clearly familiar with the Devil as you know he's male. You can leave me out of this and chat with him directly. ;D

The devil can be male or female, both or neither. I have met plenty of females that are the devil personified.

[jefe]

Jun 29, 2009 21:43:03 GMT -5 manillafolder said:

My dad passed away last year and now I am thinking very seriously about changing my last name to hers. I look more flip than white anyhow. It helps strangers make sense of what I am Maybe that is a poor reason, but as an EA it is nice to have an identity.

I am a bit confused by your reasoning.

By adopting your mother's *appelido* you would then have an identity as an EA?

I have seen so many different surnames in the Phils. I think a Filipino could have any surname and be Filipino.

[toyomansi]

^ maybe, but I think if a person has a really different surname, like german, french, english or something, people will at first be curious about where that person's family name originated from.

people there are often a little confused about how to pronounce my norwegian surname, but I'm thankful that my surname is fairly short & easy and doesn't have any of the 3 typical norwegian letters: æ, ø, å...

[Ragnar]

^My last name has the "æ" in it. Outside Scandinavia, people have no idea what to make of it. My brother had the "Þ" in his middle name which was even worse.

[toyomansi]

lol those scandi letters make it even harder to be a globalized EA ^^ but "Þ" is only icelandic? coz I'm not familiar with it...

Ragnar is a viking name, isn't it? I know about a girl with the same mix as me named Jarnfrid (makes me think of her as a viking, even though she clearly doesn't look like one)

[Ragnar]

Yes, the "Þ" is only icelandic and is pronounced as "th".
And yes, Ragnar is a real viking name and means something like "wise warrior". ;D
My asian family members pronounce it has "hakna" lol. Luckily my parents could foresee problems with a typical scandinavian name when going abroad, so they also gave me an english middle name that I could use and was easier for people to remember and pronounce. But I almost never introduce myself with that name.

[Emily]

Jun 28, 2009 4:18:43 GMT -5 Paddy said:

Jun 28, 2009 3:45:22 GMT -5 rob said:

^ call me captain obvious, but if identity means that much to you, the only solution is to marry a filipino or filipino EA

^^^
Actually, it seems like there's a blurred distinction between personal identity and cultural identity. Do you wish the names of your children to contain a cultural marker (and western or asian name to compliment there father's surname), or do you want them to have a piece of yourself. It appears narcissistic, rather than culturally sympathetic, to wish to hand down both of your surnames.

Woah... didn't I mention that had I had two white surnames (or Asian, for that matter), I'd only be passing on one of the two names? It really isn't about wishing to pass on my name per se, but the cultural recognition for oneself and by others that comes with having both a white and Asian surname.

Jun 28, 2009 5:00:17 GMT -5 jefe said:

I think people should be able to choose what name they want to have (and in fact they do have this right when they reach the age of majority).

So regardless of what their mother decides (and I don't believe that this may always be in the best interest of the child), the child will eventually have the right to make this decision for him/herself.

So I agree when parents do that, it is a narcissitic motivation on the part of the parents, and not a reflection of what is best for the child.

Unfortunately, this is not the case with all of what most parents decide for children.

I guess it's a matter of whether you think name and identity are related. As for me, I think they are. I do identify as EA, as French and Filipino. Identity is something that is construed from a young age, before one reaches the legal age to change their name. Obviously, identity is not built solely around a name, but the name one has can play a part, however small. Thus, just as parents play a significant role in how a child will identify in how they raise their child, the name they give their child (until the child perhaps decides to change it) will necessarily shape a sort of de facto identity. IMHO, until the child is conscious of such things, the EA identity and that of both parents is the best one to pass on, until the child decides otherwise.

Now, obviously, I only speak of cases where both parents are model figures. I see no point in passing on the name of one parent if they were absent, abusive, etc. just for the sake of passing on a culture.

[mingzayni88]

I have a kinda long, kinda diverse very confusing name...Zaynah Farah Tarika Ming(Mother's maiden name) Lodge(father's name). It blows ppls minds every time

Since I already have the different sides represented in my name, it saves me from having to go get it changed!

[Kush]

I was talking to a friend about something related to this, basically about how hard it would be to change your name (for whatever reason).

Not the actual legal changing of it, which is comparatively easy (I believe you can do it online nowadays) but how many awkward conversations you would have with friends and relatives telling them you'd changed your name, especially if you had young friends. Unless you had a stupid name or been openly complaining about it, I imagine the reaction from most people would be a bit WTF. I imagine it would be pretty damn hard to tell your parents (obviously depending on your parents).

[jefe]

^ I don't think that the hassle lies there at all.

It lies in changing all of your identity -- for the rest of your life, your name does not match your birth certificate, your graduation certificates, your prior expired passports, etc.

But females who adopt their husbands surname always had that, so I guess it is not THAT different.

[Groink]

I suppose it's not that bad. At least in the US, your SSN is fairly immutable; sometimes to the point of frustration (i.e identity theft, etc). Weird to think that you "identity" as far as the gov't is concern is just a series of numbers that follows you around until you're dead. I think it is much harder getting a new SSN than a name change.

Changing your name must be kind of like getting a blank slate in some respects. Good god, I think if it would reduce the amount of junk mail, I might do it!

[hypeforlife91]

Hehehee I have a double last name (in American and Chinese, since my father is German-American)...I have it hyphenated, that was the way I was born. People always think I'm married, especially before they see me and I actually look much younger than they expected after they see me LAWL. I guess they aren't accustomed to last names like this if you're not married.

[Christina Barrett]

I just have Barrett. My mom is Chinese-Indonesian, so she has an Indonesian last name. The Chinese is different.

I like last names like Webster and Gordon. I have German like Rickard and I even have Irish, Donahue-Noon. Shultz is nice, Long, Work as in Barber-Work.

Anyway what kind of German? I have Dutch.