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Post by Ganbare! on Sept 8, 2009 5:03:14 GMT -5
Last June, I went to Glastonbury festival (largest greenfield music festival in the world ) with my girlfriend and a couple of her friends, we really had some fun seeing so many amazing big name and indie acts, getting into mud fights, chatting at night around drinks in our tent. Well, you get the picture, it's one of the few times of the year that you feel free, young and hmm high just by happiness if not on substance. If you think it was some sort of general amoral orgy fest, it wasn't probably because there were many families around our spot. But while packing our bags, my girlfriend took an affectionate tone and said 'oh look at these cuties (talking about kids), I want to have (mixed) beautiful babies with you. We drove all the way to the English countryside just to party and there she is seriously discussing about marriage and children, I felt suddenly very very old. I haven't done anything in my life yet. I just don't want the fun to vanish as soon as I'll settle with someone, get myself a real job... Already too many young adults in their 20's and early 30's are getting too serious about their careers, partners and overall they're just conservative. Where did the so-called generation Y go? It might be unrealistic but I'm trying to solve the 'how old is too old paradox' to know how long I have left and where should I head first before the god-forsaken mortgage planning ! Looking like a jailbait even though I'm legal might help me in my quest  |
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Post by betahat on Sept 8, 2009 16:15:59 GMT -5
The fun doesn't end when you settle down with someone. Unless your dingaling has ADD or something. You just have different kinds of fun - lying around in bed or watching tv and movies, visiting relatives, etc. instead of hitting up clubs all the time. I think having kids is a much more radical lifestyle change, and you shouldn't let anyone talk you into it until you are ready. Go forth and sow your wild oats young man (assuming you don't think your girlfriend is the one).
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Post by Ganbare! on Sept 9, 2009 7:48:56 GMT -5
The fun doesn't end when you settle down with someone. Unless your dingaling has ADD or something. You just have different kinds of fun - lying around in bed or watching tv and movies, visiting relatives, etc. instead of hitting up clubs all the time. I think having kids is a much more radical lifestyle change, and you shouldn't let anyone talk you into it until you are ready. Go forth and sow your wild oats young man (assuming you don't think your girlfriend is the one). I never found much fun in ordinary activities, in reality I'd rather work. I don't buy the whole 'suburban boring happy family' lifestyle. No thrills in that. I might never even have children if it comes at the expense of my career or lifestyle. I'm not a career freak either, I don't want to become like a lot of former classmates only driven by law firm/business culture where boasting the number of billable hours is the norm. Several of my friends are working in some of London/NYC/Paris largest investment banks as junior consultants. I tell you the last time I saw them was literally months ago. The reason being, they work over 70 hours/week, sure they make very good money but they have ZERO life whatsoever. That's why I quit these fields, people are far too cynical about their 9 to 9 shifts, I'm not ready to dump my hobbies or health for money I'll never even have time to spend. More and more people are realizing that as well, we're not our parents and I believe there is more than founding your own family or professional status in this world, it's a growing trend at least. My brother is past 30, he work as an engineer, not married yet, only girlfriends and hits Ibiza with some friends every year, gotta love the passion... @ Scotty: Sorry for saying but I'm just voicing the opinion of the majority : 'whatever kiddo, you're just like one of many who feels like they can bring down people on the web by adding nothing more to the debate than petty irony' |
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Post by Subuatai on Sept 9, 2009 14:16:14 GMT -5
You know Ganbare, it's kind of funny considering I used to think similarly to you merely a few months ago. I was so stressed out and upset that "my life is all over now", but now with my daughter here I feel my life has only merely begun. When you're young YES - you MUST and should enjoy the freedom while you have it.
I'm not going to say that you should go ring the baby bells or something when you're not ready - as that will certainly drive you insane - like ME ;D . Nonetheless Betahat is right that there is still fun/joy/happiness when you settle into family life. In many ways even more so...
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Post by betahat on Sept 9, 2009 19:47:12 GMT -5
You know, some people have the nesting instinct and others don't. Both my sibs and I have it, and I don't think it is mere coincidence. Based on what you wrote before Ganbare, it looks like you don't exactly have a great model of what a loving, secure, stable family "nest" is like so I'm not surprised you have a hard time envisioning that for yourself. Not everyone necessarily comes around to it either - there are plenty of people who spend their whole lives free and itinerant. In your ex-pat life in Asia (if you end up doing that) you may meet a lot of those people - in their late 30s, still picking up random girls in bars and hostels, teaching English or doing odd jobs, traveling constantly, etc. I often find them to be very interesting and sad at the same time, though I should try to be less judgmental - everyone needs to find their own way.
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Post by Ganbare! on Sept 10, 2009 0:00:03 GMT -5
I don't think my personal family history has anything to do with this. For me it's about transcending biological determinism (having a descent) and dedicating my life to attain my own goals whether they be intellectual, physical or social.
It might change with time but right now I see commitment as a burden.
I am not aiming to become a lonely itinerant nor a family man either. I know there is an alternative to both lifestyles: enjoying some sort of emotional/financial stability but still be free at the same time.
You must think I'm crazy for basically planning out my whole life.
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Post by jefe on Sept 10, 2009 1:09:16 GMT -5
I don't see why you can't continue on with your mortgage planning and still continue to have fun. I intend to seek fun until I am well into my 90s. :-) In your ex-pat life in Asia (if you end up doing that) you may meet a lot of those people - in their late 30s, still picking up random girls in bars and hostels, teaching English or doing odd jobs, traveling constantly, etc. I often find them to be very interesting and sad at the same time, though I should try to be less judgmental - everyone needs to find their own way. I must be another one of your *SAD* cases. |
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Post by Pocky Monster on Sept 10, 2009 1:16:47 GMT -5
It ends when you let it.
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Post by palaver on Sept 10, 2009 9:06:44 GMT -5
So we must be talking about sex. I don't know any other kind of "fun" that exists outside marriage. ;D I kid, I kid. It can last...with the doctor's help. "Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out." --Montaigne Ganbare, if you are feeling pressured into making commitments or submitting a final draft for the rest of you're life, no worries. No one holds a young person to their word. The indiscretions of youth. I'd take a rain check on that mid-life crisis you're having. That ride is for grownups. |
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Post by rob on Sept 10, 2009 9:35:37 GMT -5
When does the fun start?
(Boo hoo, there I go posting on the internet again)
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Post by volume on Sept 10, 2009 11:07:39 GMT -5
moved to The Octogon
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Post by betahat on Sept 10, 2009 11:20:03 GMT -5
^I must be another one of your *SAD* cases.
I think that must be me projecting again Jefe. Just because I would find such a life unfulfilling. It's just one of those things where people looking in from both sides see the other and think "wow, that guy is so boring and dead aside, all preoccupied with his career and family, I bet he never has fun, their sex is tired, etc." or "that guy's life must be pretty empty without a deep and meaningful relationship, without a real home." But it's not either/or - as South Carolina Governor Jim Sanford proved, you can be a family-minded, career-driven lawyer/politician and still have time to "hike the appalachian trail" with your Argentine mistress. Anyway, props to you for your spirit- I hope that you can still go diving into your 90s! Have you decided to never get married or have children, or do you think you might settle down in your 40s/50s? Anyway, without meeting you I have no idea whether you are the creepy old guy always hitting on the young girls at the local youth hostel (I suspect not).
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Post by Ganbare! on Sept 13, 2009 16:12:33 GMT -5
jefe probably is an EA Bruce Wayne but happy, he fights crimes in HK at night and during the day picks up high class damsels at expats banquets and cocktails. My hero?
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Post by Groink on Sept 14, 2009 16:58:48 GMT -5
jefe probably is an EA Bruce Wayne but happy, he fights crimes in HK at night and during the day picks up high class damsels at expats banquets and cocktails. My hero? That reminds me the picture that Jefe posted a while back -- the one with him wearing sunglasses in his office. He totally looked like a superhero in that photo. |
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Shock
Full Member
Posts: 261
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Post by Shock on Sept 15, 2009 5:37:46 GMT -5
Real Fun never ends.
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