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Post by guchiguh on Jan 3, 2010 10:39:32 GMT -5
From my experience, in Asian countries (not just confined to Taiwan), usually mixed people will have the "beautiful" 'stigma' attached by the locals, whereas when I am in Europe and other western countries, being mixed is a mere 'property' of your individuality and isn't given much consideration in terms of your looks.
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Post by admin on Jan 3, 2010 10:43:23 GMT -5
Well, there can't be anything wrong with positive stereotypes. Hmm... what if they create unrealistic expectations? For example, what if you were an Asian student and just average at math? Or a black guy who was totally uncoordinated and bad at dancing and basketball? Both of those things would run counter to popular stereotypes. Would that make the person get more ridicule, or feel less competent, or
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hypeforlife91
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Jan 3, 2010 11:02:23 GMT -5
^ That is what I thought too. Lots of people are surprised when I tell them...I HATE math. They say "but you're part Asian! Where is your asian pride?" I'm not bad at it, but I don't like doing it. Makes my brain go into a huge meltdown. Writing is more of my thing. xD
Positive myths are generally good, but they shouldn't be overused and used as a basis for a certain group of people.
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hypeforlife91
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Jan 3, 2010 11:32:54 GMT -5
In regards to the myth..I have a first account experience. My Asian relatives would tell me.."You look so much like your dad ah, so pewtiful. So big eyes and melon seed face shape." or "Looks alot like gweilo." etc etc. Something like that..these comments were a while back and I haven't seen them recently since I moved. It made me pretty pissed off and embarrassed rather than happy and proud of myself. They do that all the time! I especially loathe them 100% when they do it in front of my little sister. Once when my aunt said that..I was only like..iono..10,11, or 12? and I said back to her "my sister is cute,nicer, and prettier than me you know..." My aunt was like "Chyeah, whatever la." !!!! My sister looked so sad. It's hard for me to forget that because my sister is truly the "happy bunny" of the family. To see her so sad for the first time...it made me feel so crushed,guilty, and awful...!! After that, my sister would hide from my relatives and whenever we had a gathering or a party..my sister would refuse to go. She was only like 7-9 years old. She was in tears and sad all the time. To tell the truth, I didn't want to go either. I didn't feel good about it one bit and I wished they would stop. My Asian relatives favor "white traits" over their traditional Asian looks. My sis looks a little more Asian than I do, although she has lighter hair. But without a doubt, I think she is very pretty. My Asian relatives are like, for god's sake..racist to their own race! My dad's side of the family is nicer..they love us both just the way we are. I am so proud that my sister has outgrew their comments and just shrug it off now. She doesn't care anymore. She has become a strong and independent young woman. She's very understanding about everything in life, even more than me. Sometimes I would even seek help from her for my personal issues. Even though I'm older, I think she has the brains and the heart to give me advice. Now, she is even more beautiful than she was when she was little. She is also much more social than me lol. I prefer to be in my own little cocoon made up of a comforter and 20 pounds of blankets. ;D
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naix
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Post by naix on Jan 4, 2010 10:00:11 GMT -5
Well, there can't be anything wrong with positive stereotypes. Hmm... what if they create unrealistic expectations? For example, what if you were an Asian student and just average at math? Or a black guy who was totally uncoordinated and bad at dancing and basketball? Both of those things would run counter to popular stereotypes. Would that make the person get more ridicule, or feel less competent, or Well it is better than being judged before someone even gets to know you. So it will be easier to open doors you could say. Then you can either succeed or crash and burn! In regards to the myth..I have a first account experience. My Asian relatives would tell me.."You look so much like your dad ah, so pewtiful. So big eyes and melon seed face shape." or "Looks alot like gweilo." etc etc. Something like that..these comments were a while back and I haven't seen them recently since I moved. It made me pretty pissed off and embarrassed rather than happy and proud of myself. They do that all the time! I especially loathe them 100% when they do it in front of my little sister. Once when my aunt said that..I was only like..iono..10,11, or 12? and I said back to her "my sister is cute,nicer, and prettier than me you know..." My aunt was like "Chyeah, whatever la." !!!! My sister looked so sad. It's hard for me to forget that because my sister is truly the "happy bunny" of the family. To see her so sad for the first time...it made me feel so crushed,guilty, and awful...!! After that, my sister would hide from my relatives and whenever we had a gathering or a party..my sister would refuse to go. She was only like 7-9 years old. She was in tears and sad all the time. To tell the truth, I didn't want to go either. I didn't feel good about it one bit and I wished they would stop. My Asian relatives favor "white traits" over their traditional Asian looks. My sis looks a little more Asian than I do, although she has lighter hair. But without a doubt, I think she is very pretty. My Asian relatives are like, for god's sake..racist to their own race! My dad's side of the family is nicer..they love us both just the way we are. I am so proud that my sister has outgrew their comments and just shrug it off now. She doesn't care anymore. She has become a strong and independent young woman. She's very understanding about everything in life, even more than me. Sometimes I would even seek help from her for my personal issues. Even though I'm older, I think she has the brains and the heart to give me advice. Now, she is even more beautiful than she was when she was little. She is also much more social than me lol. I prefer to be in my own little cocoon made up of a comforter and 20 pounds of blankets. ;D Seems pretty similar to my own experiences with my Asian relatives. But in an opposite fashion. They will usually talk in Chinese and I'll just be sitting there having no idea what they are talking about, and their occasional glances in my direction doesn't help matters much at all. They love to play the favorite 'card.' My chinese aunts at any rate tend to favor my cousin's pure chinese side of the family.
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Post by toyomansi on Jan 5, 2010 6:29:04 GMT -5
^^that's a great story, hype. It's a little sad that relatives would favor the looks of one sibling over the other because of ethnic features, it's good that your sister was able to let it go and grow stronger. When I was a kid I was often told that I was ugly by my white classmates, because of my ethnic facial features. When in social gatherings with filipino ladies and their EA kids, I thought their kids (my friends) were prettier because of rounder eyes/'nicer' facial features. I would expect filipinas to also prefer western features, but they would always think of me as the prettiest girl. I still kept insisting that I wasn't pretty, since I thought my looks was comparable to someone with Downs, lol... So there were always two opposites: norwegians thought I was ugly and filipinos thought I was beautiful. Of course, I didn't like the fact that people would favor the looks of some kids over others.
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hypeforlife91
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Jan 5, 2010 6:47:38 GMT -5
^ I don't think your looks are comparable with someone with Downs! Never! You have a very pleasant face! When I first saw your pic, I could immediately tell that that you are a person that is full of inner beauty as well as natural beauty. You also have a very beautiful and genuine smile! I think that you are truly, truly one of the nicest people on this forum And I'm being 100% honest. Anyone who thinks you are ugly is stupid and should get their eyes checked. D:
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Post by toyomansi on Jan 5, 2010 14:00:29 GMT -5
Thanks hype, that's so sweet! ^^ Of course today I don't see myself the same way I did as a kid, and people don't think I'm ugly at all. It was just the small town mentality of that time I guess. I really appreciate that you see me as one of the nice ones here I also think you are so sweet, cheerful, caring, thoughtful, down-to-earth and of course super cute ;D You really light up the forum with your presence.
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hypeforlife91
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Jan 5, 2010 17:40:02 GMT -5
^ Aww thanks You made my day! *sniffles* *tears* ;D
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Kush
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Post by Kush on Jan 6, 2010 19:31:00 GMT -5
I'm rather adverse to being mislabeled as white (although there is absolutely no chance of that - as I'm darker than a lot of Asians) but I prefer to be thought as mono-racially Asian. It irritates me when Asian people point out that I'm only half Asian as especially as they wouldn't even know if I hadn't told them. It all depends on context of course but usually it feels like they're calling me a poser. Anyway, if people ask what I am nowadays, I just say Chinese, as opposed to half Chinese. However somewhat on topic, what's getting on my nerves at the moment. There is this white guy, a good friend of mine, who still cannot grasp the fact that I'm Malaysian Chinese. Since I told him I was Malaysian first, every time I say I'm Chinese he's like "no you're not. You're Malaysian, cos you're from Malaysia" Yes, yes I am, you idiot - that is why most of my family have names like Tham, Leung and Yang, that's why we celebrate Chinese New Year and speak Cantonese etc. Besides, surely I would know?
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Post by TeeHee on Jan 7, 2010 18:26:30 GMT -5
At this point in my life, I generally don't care either way if folks think I look full white or Asian. While I may not necessarily agree with their opinion of my looking full white, Asian, or any other race, I believe they're entitled to having their opinion, granted as long as they're not doing anything along the lines of disturbing the peace (i.e. vandalizing property with swastikas or other racial epithets, hate crimes etc.) or forcing their opinions on me. This reminds me of an exchange I had with an ex of mine, who saw me as full Asian and took issue with the fact that I identify as mixed EA. What's ironic is he saw my mom(with whom I bear a strong resemblance) as full European, so you'd think he would've accepted me identifying as partially European. Him: I really have a problem with you saying you're part white. You look 100% Asian, why don't you just identify as that?! Me: That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. I am part white, there are other people who see it, and that's my personal decision to identify as I do. Him: Well ____ thinks you look 100% Asian too! Me: I don't agree with that opinion, but as I said before, they have a right to their opinion too. Do realize that there are other people who think differently from you and your friends. Some see me as mixed, some as more European. I personally see myself and choose to identify as both Asian and European. That's what my life experiences have brought me to, and that's what I'm most comfortable with. Him: I don't see it between you and Jessica Alba. She looks 100% white and you look 100% Asian. (One time we were at a local pub, in which this guy came up to me, having mistaken me for Jessica Alba…That guy said "Oh hey, nevermind. From a distance, I thought you were Jessica Alba and was gonna ask you for an autograph. But upon closer inspection, I saw you weren't.") Me: Well that was HIS opinion! Not mine, why are you picking a fight with me about it?(I'd never even said I looked like her, though I'd take that as a compliment nonetheless) Him: You've got some problems being ashamed of yourself, looking and being 100% Asian. Me: I'm not ashamed of myself at all. I'm proud of who I am. And I don't appreciate you getting on my case about something that's my personal decision that shouldn't even have an effect on you! In a later chat around election time(2008), he'd said about Obama "Obama is half black and white, was raised mostly by his white mom and grandparents, but often identifies as just black. Why does he do that? Is he ashamed of his white family/blood?" Using that previous above-mentioned argument against him, I said "Maybe because if he were to identify as both black and white, he'd have people getting on his case saying he's ashamed of his black heritage , in much the same way that you insist that I denounce any European in me and identify as full Asian". That shut him up for a bit. As you can probably gather, he wasn't exactly one of the most logical of people out there, often contradicting himself. In my mind, he and other people like him are free to have their opinion about subjective things like physical appearance, but I don't have much patience discussing/arguing with people who can't do it at least somewhat logically.
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Post by guchiguh on Jan 7, 2010 21:51:40 GMT -5
TeeHee, that must have been an annoying discussion. I've never encountered a conversation like that before, but I can imagine it'd get on my nerves too.
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hypeforlife91
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Jan 7, 2010 21:57:40 GMT -5
^ Teehee, through the eyes of me (I've seen some photos of you here..) I think you look very evenly mixed. When I read that you were 3/4 Asian and 1/4 White (right?), I was a little surprised. I think you look more like 50/50..even leaning towards the white side a bit. That is what I see, others may see differently, like that obnoxious guy you mentioned...*rolls eyes*
Nonetheless, you're one of the most beautiful EA faces I've ever seen. ;D
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maow
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Post by maow on Jan 7, 2010 23:22:51 GMT -5
Sorry to hijack this thread but I just want to add that a long overdue EAN group hug is in order here huuuuuuug
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hypeforlife91
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Jan 7, 2010 23:26:59 GMT -5
^HUG** Congratulations, now you got my cooties.
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