Do you care when people see you as monoracial?

[TeeHee]

Jan 7, 2010 21:51:40 GMT -5 @guchiguh said:

TeeHee, that must have been an annoying discussion.
I've never encountered a conversation like that before, but I can imagine it'd get on my nerves too.

Yea it was pretty annoying. I personally didn't care/wasn't bothered that he thought I looked full Asian; but what irritated me about him was how he was essentially picking a fight with me over something that I considered to be a personal choice that wouldn't have affected him either way. I mean, whether I were to identify as full Asian or EA, I fail to see how that would've made things better or worse on him. Debating with him in general became annoying, not just on race-related matters.

Jan 7, 2010 21:57:40 GMT -5 hypeforlife91 said:

^ Teehee, through the eyes of me (I've seen some photos of you here..) I think you look very evenly mixed. When I read that you were 3/4 Asian and 1/4 White (right?), I was a little surprised. I think you look more like 50/50..even leaning towards the white side a bit. That is what I see, others may see differently, like that obnoxious guy you mentioned...*rolls eyes*

Nonetheless, you're one of the most beautiful EA faces I've ever seen. ;D

thanks hype, from the pics I've seen of you, you're pretty too anyhow, yea that's right. Given that I'm more than half Asian, there have been times where I'd just tell folks that I was Vietnamese, which is my Asian. But most of them would add "you're not just Vietnamese though, right? you look mixed with some kind of white/european too?" in which I'd acknowledge that my mother is EA. My bro, on the contrary, looks more like dad's side and could pass as off as full Asian; he acknowledges our partial european heritage too, but generally identifies as just Asian, which is fine by me.

Jan 7, 2010 23:22:51 GMT -5 maow said:

Sorry to hijack this thread but I just want to add that a long overdue EAN group hug is in order here
huuuuuuug

Right back atcha maow Your hugs are better in person though.

[guchiguh]

Jan 8, 2010 0:32:14 GMT -5 TeeHee said:

Yea it was pretty annoying. I personally didn't care/wasn't bothered that he thought I looked full Asian; but what irritated me about him was how he was essentially picking a fight with me over something that I considered to be a personal choice that wouldn't have affected him either way. I mean, whether I were to identify as full Asian or EA, I fail to see how that would've made things better or worse on him. Debating with him in general became annoying, not just on race-related matters.

Exactly, I would feel exactly the same.
I would have just gotten ticked off at the fact that he had asked you to "accept" something that clearly you are not and like you said it would have not made a difference at all in the daily runnings of your lifes. Mind boggling really

[FreckleFoot]

I've had all sorts of guesses as to what my ethnicity might be. Some examples are: Scottish, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Middle Eastern, Chinese, Japanese, Filipina...

Most people assumed me to be 100% East Asian. I didn't mind as I quite liked being different, but as a child I don't think I realised just how different I was because being biracial was not common. Naturally, it felt completely normal for me to be seen in public with my white mother and East Asian father until I realised most people had parents of the same race.

I don't mind answering people's questions about my ethnicity, but it can get a bit annoying when people want to ask my ethnicity and yet don't know how to phrase it. e.g.
Curious Person: So where do you live?
Me: I live here.
Curious Person: Oh, I mean, where are you from?
Me: Britain.
Curious Person: Erm... but what nationality are you?
Me: British.
Curious: But you don't look British... etc.

I've come across the Eurasian = beautiful myth too. It is becoming more prevalent in the west. Sometimes I'll mention online (often in a predominantly American forum) that I am Eurasian and a few people will start gushing about how goddess-like I must be... It might be a positive stereotype on the surface, but I think it is a negative one born out of ignorance. The mix is spoken about is if it is an exotic species of animal instead of a human race with attractive, average and unattractive individuals just like any other ethnicity. It places unnecessary pressure on those who are average or unattractive because they are expected to live up to the narrow-minded expectations of people who have probably only ever seen one attractive Eurasian and have extrapolated from that one person.

What does bother me is when people try to tell me what I look like as if it is a fact and they know that the entire planet agrees with them. Kind of like the person TeeHee mentioned... I find they are either ignorant of the distinguishing features between East Asian and white people (apart from very stereotypical things such as perfectly straight black hair, yellow skin and tiny slanted eyes for East Asians), or they are only looking for familiar features to their own and blocking out everything else. They usually assign all ambiguous qualities to white people: pale skin, brown eyes, double eyelids... even if East Asians can have those qualities too.

[bulaklak]

The only people rude enough to straight out ask me my ethnicity are drunk and male (or work for the 2010 census bureau, I'll let them slide though.) These days I just put my background on my facebook profile so that the people I meet don't get the chance to ask me awkward questions. Over the years I've been told I look Egyptian, Persian, Latina, White, (EAN told me I looked half black ) but I don't usually get anything close to Filipina. oh it hurts a little every time I hear "but you don't look Filipino at all".

There is a large Hispanic population where I live and I have a Spanish surname so on paper, I "look" Latina. I don't mind being spoken to in Spanish but it bothers me if people make assumptions about where I live and where I work based on my appearance. Once I was mistaken for a salesperson. "Do you have this in a size 8?"... uh I don't work here. I try to avoid wearing solid color shirts when I go to the mall now.

[nadamas]

Yes. In the UK people see me as Chinese, when clearly my behaviour, education, upbringing are mostly British. On the other hand, I get upset when people in HK see me as a gweilo/gweipor

[jefe]

Jan 7, 2010 18:26:30 GMT -5 TeeHee said:

That shut him up for a bit. As you can probably gather, he wasn't exactly one of the most logical of people out there, often contradicting himself. In my mind, he and other people like him are free to have their opinion about subjective things like physical appearance, but I don't have much patience discussing/arguing with people who can't do it at least somewhat logically.

Problem is -- people like him are not a small tiny minority at all. You run into them every day. Even my relatives are like that.

But for me, attitudes like that are grounds for dropping a bf/gf -- > is that my problem?

[japonesa]

"Curious Person: Erm... but what nationality are you?
Me: British.
Curious: But you don't look British... etc." -> lol this is really annoying && why do asians in asia think all americans/british = white [>.<]

i hate when -people get my race wrong / i tell people my mix and they insist im lying / i say my mix and they're like WOOOOOOW REALLY! o__0

[hypeforlife91]

I just hate persistent people, but I guess you can't change their minds.

I know right? Asians in asia think "Chinese-American" is eurasian. I wouldn't think a person is eurasian by seeing/hearing that unless maybe if they say "I have a Chinese Father and an American mother" or something. Even though that too, may still sound a little vague, at least you have more of an explanation of what exactly is meant by "Chinese-American." Some people use "Chinese-American" to describe people who are Chinese by blood, but an American citizen; but people use it to describe Eurasians too!

[conorsoccr23]

why shood anyone care i mean you and ur friends/family know who u r

[danyc]

Hello, I am relatively new here. I am also probably one of the few over 40's here. But in any case I am glad for this forum and a chance to discuss various racial issues and to connect with other people.

First of all I am an adoptee and was raised by a white family.
I am half European-American with a tiny bit of African American and Half unknown Asian (Chinese or Mongolian).
There was a time in my life when I wanted to ID as just one race, I thought that would be less complicated.
My parents also had people ask/assume that I had Down's when I was a child--I mean this was the 60s in in the Midwest US, White family and with a slightly Asian looking kid.

Now it seems that some white people and some blacks too what to pigeonhole me as "White" and this really bothers me. One reason it does is because I had NO contact with my Asian heritage growing up and also I feel it is a way to discredit or discriminate against the reality of my experiences. I also think it is a comment on how I 'act White'--well that is how I was raised.

I also have had people assume I am Hispanic and speak Spanish to me. I have been asked where I come from, I have at times been assumed to be part Native American or Jewish or Arab or Romany. Lately I am presumed Russian. It is amazing to me how few people will even ask, they just presume.

One other note, I took a writing class once and the instructor was Biracial African American and Japanese, she expected me to write about the "mixed race" experience. I really wasn't into it then and was still into the "individual just me" experience. Fluid identity can be confusing but rarely dull.

[jefe]

I can remember back to some of the 60s, and I do understand some of the thinking held in society at that time.

And Besides various types of Asian or European, I also get the Hispanic, part Native American, middle-Eastern or Central Asian stuff too.

This does not bother me as much. What bothers me more is when people (white or black or Asian or Hispanic or whatever) completely discredit my actual background.

But I do have a question (and NOT to discredit any of your experiences for sure!). If you have had no direct contact (ie, social / cultural) with your Asian heritage, is the reason that pigeonholing you as *white* bothers you is because of the discriminatory and prejudiced behavior you received from persons while you were growing up, implying that there was something terribly different about you compared to the rest of the neighborhood, not to mention your family? Or does it bother you because it has implications about your social and cultural heritage and identification?

Forgive me, but it might not be unusual for someone to categorize someone as *white* whose behavior. language, beliefs, thought processes, etc. tend to conform to "white" ethnic backgrounds, regardless of their actual "racial" background. I may even tend to categorize some persons of mostly black African descent as "white" for that reason. It is not a racial categorization one per se, but a social / cultural one. I have a few cousins whose parents are both Chinese, but who act, think and identify so much with white people that I tend to think of them as identifying as white, even though it is me that is partially of European descent.

You know, as an adult, nothing is stopping you to have all the social and cultural contact with Asians that you could possibly handle. Is there anything that stopped you from pursuing that?

Maybe you might find some commonality with other persons holding non-European ancestry yet adopted into white families. Have you met many of them?

What does bother me sometimes is when some persons who believe that I might be able to pass as *white* or other "non-Asian" and therefore assume that I could not possibly have grown up with the sort of racism from whites that I grew up with.

[danyc]

Yes, it is true it bothers me when people trivilize the amount of discrimintaion I have dealt with in my life by presuming that as "almost white" I have it easy.
Yes I do desire to connect with others of Asian, or partial Asian heritage (thats why I am here for one ) and I do worry that Asians will just view me as white. That of course denies my whole reality and experiences.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply.

[Ganbare!]

Funny thing is whenever I shut my mouth about ethnicity people of all phenotypes excepted the Nordic one assume I'm the same as them. I've got Japanese thinking I was Japanese, Jewish people thinking I was too, Greeks.. I never understood why they would maybe because I fit in many cultures, my behavior maybe the looks..

[jefe]

May 30, 2010 13:14:42 GMT -5 danyc said:

and I do worry that Asians will just view me as white. That of course denies my whole reality and experiences.

Yes, but by avoiding contact, and by focussing all your contact on the group that you are familiar with (ie, white people), you are reinforcing the denial of that very reality and experience - in some ways even passively denying it yourself.

It might seem overstepping to give any advice to someone in their 40s, but you really have got to find it in yourself to stop worrying about this. (I would try to give advice to someone half that age, but someone that age would simply not listen anyhow.).

1. Accept the fact that some Asians may simply view you as white. That is what Asians do to many Eurasians (even those who are very *Asian* in other ways), and it is just an initial impression (that might remain *fixed*, but who cares). View it like someone viewing you as beautiful or fat -- an individual viewpoint.

2. Realize that some Asians will view even *full* Asians raised in an Asian family as *white* or at least western, reflecting their interpretation of their behavior, values, and awareness.

3. Proactively go after any and all things you want to learn about or experience. Do not let some petty worrying stop you from doing things you want to do. Try something new - something I recommend to people of all ages.

4. Acknowledge that you have responsibility to expand others' awareness as well. That particular Asian that you are worrying about may simply not know any better. After knowing you, think how much you will open up THEIR eyes.

Is this possible in your current geographic area?

I knew that I had to leave the community of my childhood at a very young age -- I decided at age 16 to go to Boston for university just to get exposed to things that my parents had been denying me.

[toyomansi]

I got this a couple of times now here in Singapore...

Chinese guy in MRT station doing some promotion of products (only applicable to certain groups):
"Excuse me miss, are you a Singaporean or coming from PR?"
Me: "No, I'm just a tourist."
Guy: "Oh ok. So where are you from?"
Me (not really wanting to explain everything, but still...): "Norway."
Guy (looks puzzled): "You're from Norway?"
Me: "...I'm half Norwegian, half Filipino."
Guy: "Oh..." (pause) "...But you look like Chinese!"

Sometimes my story of being a mixed foreigner seems like a bad excuse for not wanting to buy their products, lol...