How Klepto Are You?

[haplotype]

Have you ever:

- tasted more than one sausage at the sample counter, but didn't buy any?
- sampled a grape at the supermarket?
- picked up a penny at the fountain?
- walked out of a coffee shop with a newspaper that you weren't sure was free?
- accidentally kept something in your shopping cart, but didn't bother to return it?
- borrowed the fire ax from downtown to chop down a tree in your yard?
- kept shopping carts in your garage?
- got a refund for your doctor's co-pay via medical supplies?
- wrote a check to the church for $10, and helped yourself to $9 in change from the collection plate?
- leafed through someone else's medical records at the hospital?
- decorated your college dorm room with a traffic sign?
- stowed extra rolls of toilet paper into your backpack?
- palmed the salt & pepper shakers at the restaurant?
- re-purposed the movie theater exit sign into a night light for your room?
- made off with the weights from the gym?
- packed the hotel towels?
- reached down for a box of candy, out of sight from the cashier?
- lifted a jacket off of a sleeping person in the library, because it looked so heavy on their back?
- rummaged through a stranger's purse?
- helped yourself to the donation can for cancer kids, so you can buy some nyquil?
- sampled girl scout cookies, while pocketing the money can?
- liberated a bird from the pet shop?
- packed a stranger's puppy into your gym bag?
- decided your in-law's jewelry looks better on your fingers?
- filled your tank with somebody else's credit card, while they went inside?
- scolded a kid at the park that they shouldn't own a cell phone, so you taught them a lesson?
- told a skateboarder you'll show them a really cool trick, and rode away?
- decided to help the local construction site by steering their crane on sunday?
- helped the local fire department by driving their truck somewhere else?
- helped your new neighbor by making their moving truck disappear?
- made off with the manhole lid, and watched cars get destroyed?

[admin]

- stolen a post from another forum?

[haplotype]

Haha, but it's still my post. I use the same name on both forums.

[betahat]

I may have stolen a lemon and ashtray a long time ago. I also used to download music on Napster and Limewire, but I don't do that anymore. No, these days I always obey 6 out of the 10 commandments.

[Papa Alpha]

^ I checked the commandments, I am so going to hell.

It depends on what you consider stealing, such as, I got wind that this car dealership near my house was upgrading all their computers so I climbed the fence and took one of the old computers they threw out. Victimless crime.

[haplotype]

If you're brave:

- snatch a flasher off of a police car
- steal the anti-theft gate at the store
- steal a historic landmark at your college (I know a law student who did this and kept it in his dorm room for a year)
- pickpocket the store's security guard
- steal the flag from a veteran's memorial
- cart off a vending machine on a hand truck
- remove the letters from government buildings
- exchange your clothes with the store mannequin
- decapitate the parking meter with a baseball bat and keep the change in your trunk
- bash a gumball machine with a baseball bat and offer the gumball to a kid standing nearby
- fly off with a hospital helicopter

[milkman's baby]

I used to get away with not having to buy toilet paper in the apartment when it was my turn to. I would steal it from the utility closets in the bathrooms at school because the janitors never locked them. But after about two months of doing it, the janitor started locking it.

I definitely do the food sampling without buying. Other than that, I can't steal. But not because of a guilty conscience, only because I'm always paranoid I'll get caught somehow.

[Deleted]

when I used to work at a grocery store I'd take milk crates home occasionally. I'm pretty sure my employers would have been okay with me doing that, but I always made it a point to make sure no one was around to see me put them in my truck.

[betahat]

There's even a term for it in the supermarket industry - "shrinkage." Eliminating "shrink" is always high on their priority list since it really does cost them quite a lot, though I'm not sure how much shrink is divided between (a)food going bad and being thrown out, (b)food stolen by employees and (c)food stolen by customers (including through sampling).

[Deleted]

^^
hehe

I know I contributed to a lot of "shrinkage" by accidentally dropping produce... being the butterfingers that I am, I was ultimately fired for dropping a huge watermelon which exploded everywhere.