Has anyone else here ever suffered from depression based on being Eurasian? I just can't stop reading a lot of online negativity about Eurasians. On the one hand, I welcome more honest discussion about Eurasian problems, but OTOH it has me extremely depressed. White-Asian relations are not nearly as good as the whole "model minority" myth would make it out to be. And as a mixed race Hapa, I feel torn between both worlds. I'm just angry at who I am.
As a mother of two beautiful Eurasian children (Heritage Hybrid)- myself being second generation overseas born Chinese (Cultural Hybrid) I have spent many months in search of the answers to our common quest which I believe lies at the core of your distress. The search for wholeness commonly associated with a mixed cultural or heritage identity. I can only say that contrary to seeing problems I think there is a lot to be proud of but also the necessity to take ownership and responsibility for this mixed blessing. You are the best of both Eastern and Western expression. Choosing between one or the other is an outdated mindset and one that you should not even consider worthy of your contemplation.
After exploring this issue to some extent I must conclude that I believe it takes more than personal reflection to resolve the quest for wholeness. It requires an understanding of the true essence of Eurasian identity which is one founded on the blending of Western and Eastern philosophies and ethnically rooted which means that its roots cannot be regionally defined but instead its essence needs to be affirmed through connection with fellow kin across regional boundaries sharing common ideals.
I share my insights under the culture thread 'Is there an Ideal to Eurasian Identity'
There are no mistakes in the universe. Blending is a necessary step to our evolvement.
I think that eanhapa's issues are exacerbated by all the negative Asian male bashing in US society by both Asian females and White males, and the uncomfortable feeling of being born into such a relationship, yet be the target of such bashing at the same time. I think both Asian women and white men completely skirt over this issue and end up contradicting themselves by trying to comfort their son by telling them they are blessed by their bicultural heritage and that they feel proud of him or whatever.
They probably do not even realize that they come off as being hypocritical.
Eanhapa, you have to stop spending all your time absorbing and internalizing all that negative rhetoric. Turn it around into something proactive and positive, that will help you and help others. Have you heard of Kip Fulbeck and Eric Byler? They are men with Asian mothers and white fathers and have turned their experience into something they can share with the greater community.