How much play are u getting from EAN?!

[rob]

So, what’s your EAN Action Index¹ score?[/b]

Here’s how you calculate it:

1. Calculate your total “Play Points” based on your interaction with EAN'ers

- Lurid/Flirtatious PMs from other EAN members: +50 points (each)

- Bodily contact in any form (handshakes excepted): +100 points

- Handjob/make-out session: +200 points

- Getting an EAN’er (or someone via an EAN’er) in the sack: +2000 points

2. Add (subtract) bonus points

- Have gotten laid on less than 500 posts (+ 1000 bonus points)
- Got any form of play out of a group meet (and not a clandestine private meet-up) (+ 500 bonus points)
- Do NOT have your own self-aggrandizing website (+ 500 bonus points)
- Have used pictures of babies or puppy dogs to get said play (deduct half of all points)
- Involved in any type of EAN drama (the real variety) and not gotten any play out of it (subtract 1000 points)
- Bodily contact (with yourself) or PMs sent to yourself (subtract all points)

3. Divide your point total by the total number of posts you've made on EAN to date

IT’S THAT EASY!!!!!




¹ The EAN Action Index^TM is a proprietary analytical tool for determining the efficiency with which one obtains play over a forum board. Results are accurate within 1% percentage point 19 times out of 20.

[xandra]

s***, part 3 really hurts my score. no multiple play here, either.

[yongfook]

Woah. Mine is high.

:/

It's a rough estimate though.

I think the jump from +200 for a handjob to a +2000 for a shag is way too high. 9 times out of 10 a woman who makes out with you or gives you a hand job will eventually shag you, if you pursue it / beg / drug her drinks enough.

[teek]

Man, the puppy dog killed me =\

That's more damage than a Rogue backstab in World of Warcraft

[daisypukes]

I don't get any EAN play either.

[rob]

zoffster1 said:

What are you snivelling about?

You had that thingy with UnidentifiedBitch going on. I know she doesn't put out, but surely you got some serious webcam play? If you did, add 1000 points to your score.

[rob]

daisypukes said:

I don't get any EAN play either.

Dont worry. We know you only post here when you're not getting any play in real life...... so in a cumulative context (ie. online play + real play) you're doing pretty well. That notwithstanding, I think if you posted more pics of you in that butterflyangel outfit w/ the nice smile (and less vitriol) you too, would have a line-up of e-suitors at your door.

[daisypukes]

I think you are confusing me with someone else...I don't own a butterfly/angel outfit or a nice smile.

[avax]

Like a virrrrrrrrrgin!

[rob]

daisypukes said:

I think you are confusing me with someone else...I don't own a butterfly/angel outfit or a nice smile.

look through your pics again. you were sitting on a bed before a hallowe'en party with white wings affixed to your back. and yes, you were smiling. eyes slightly winced and a sincere grin, not toothy in the least.

hold on a sec, lemme check my Cristobal file folder system I've set up here on my desktop......

[rob]

avax said:

Like a virrrrrrrrrgin!

Forgot to mention this under bonus points:

Finding "ancient friend" on the downlow - 3,000 points

[daisypukes]

Nope, you definitely have me confused for someone else.

[rob]

daisypukes said:

Nope, you definitely have me confused for someone else.

No I don't VioletTsunami, Razuberry, Mothraf*cker (etc). Check your pics again. They were during your, in your own words, photowhoring phase about 2 and a half years ago.

[avax]

Tut and I go way back (before he married that b*tch and got clubbed to death).

It wasn't me.

[daisypukes]

Dude, my old computer crashed awhile back...I don't have any of my old pics, I only have ones from a few months ago til now. I seriously wore a f***ing angel costume? Jesus Christ...I can't imagine wearing an angel costume. I hope it wasn't tacky.