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Post by Ave` on Sept 26, 2007 0:06:31 GMT -5
:] your side note made me smile youre absalutely right. Feeling that your high and mighty is absolutely very HUMAN but unfortunately not a good thing to be feeling. Socrates said intelligent ppl are like wheat. The smarter they are the more humble it makes them. Thus wheat usually bent when its ripe. Which is the opposite of feeling high and mighty.
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Post by xandra on Sept 26, 2007 1:12:22 GMT -5
regardless of gender i think parents can have a huge impact on people's choice of partners. i'm just glad i was able to break my pattern.
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Post by halfbreed on Sept 26, 2007 7:48:43 GMT -5
Well, my half-sister's boyfriend is nothing like my dad. But, then again, he was hardly around her while she was growing up.
I wonder if lesbians choose girls like their mothers? Or gay men choose guys like their dads?
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Post by ladystacey on Sept 26, 2007 8:50:27 GMT -5
I never thought much about what my parents would like or not like, I kinda always knew what I liked and went from there. If I went with my parents choice I would be miserable, they clearly do not know me well enough to understand the little things I admire in some people that many over look. For sure I could never be in a arranged marriage, my parents would make a bad pick for me and lead the potential husband on thinking I was in how my parents view me when in reality that's just the tip of it, he would probably run away
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Post by ladystacey on Sept 26, 2007 9:04:18 GMT -5
Whoops, that is what I get for speed reading others post, miss the details Nope, they have not looked like my dad or my mom Nor have they resembled in character wise. I think the only thing in common really is my husband is a engineer and my dad is as well but in totally different fields, that's about it. I can't date another artist type like me, it's toxic and insane, one of me in a relationship is good enough, heehee.
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Post by jenming on Sept 26, 2007 21:07:43 GMT -5
regardless of gender i think parents can have a huge impact on people's choice of partners. i'm just glad i was able to break my pattern. If you don't mind me asking, i'm curious as to what the pattern was and how you broke it?
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Post by xandra on Sept 26, 2007 21:26:35 GMT -5
well, I'd say my exes have all been rather emotionally unavailable/distant, and my father and I do not have the closest relationship and have had our share of rough patches. My attitude towards potential partners changed in the past 2 years, thankfully. I used to to think that if someone liked me a LOT right off the bat they were just desperate for anyone, and I used to like the challenge of really winning someone over. It finally dawned on me that I deserve someone who truly cares about me and I probably also got to the point where I was more mature and ready for a serious relationship. And then I met Bahzad.
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Post by honeyviper on Sept 26, 2007 23:04:22 GMT -5
Hmmm. No, none of them physically resembled my Dad. Two of them had personalities somewhat like my Dad's current character (more passive, quiet, and thoughtful). I suppose a few had my Dad's character as a young man (more stubborn and jerky) too. I prefer guys who are a little more wild and out there though.
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Post by thekrez on Sept 27, 2007 4:03:33 GMT -5
well, I'd say my exes have all been rather emotionally unavailable/distant, and my father and I do not have the closest relationship and have had our share of rough patches. My attitude towards potential partners changed in the past 2 years, thankfully. I used to to think that if someone liked me a LOT right off the bat they were just desperate for anyone, and I used to like the challenge of really winning someone over. It finally dawned on me that I deserve someone who truly cares about me and I probably also got to the point where I was more mature and ready for a serious relationship. And then I met Bahzad. God why cant you females come to this realisation a little sooner instead of post 25 by which time youre Christmas cake and so full of emotional baggage and bats*** crazy that you make any relationship toxic. Not a comment against you Xandra just in general.
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Post by thesa on Sept 27, 2007 7:13:54 GMT -5
I guess it really depends on how well you get along with your father. If you get along with him really well and if he kind of represents the 'perfect man' for you, then surely you'll look for your father's attributes in your potential partner as well.
personally, my boyfriend's character is very different to my father's. They are similar in some aspects (being very cheerful and making other people feel good) but then again totally different in others. I do, however, find more and more character traces in my bf that are similar to my dad's.
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Post by xandra on Sept 27, 2007 10:23:20 GMT -5
well, I'd say my exes have all been rather emotionally unavailable/distant, and my father and I do not have the closest relationship and have had our share of rough patches. My attitude towards potential partners changed in the past 2 years, thankfully. I used to to think that if someone liked me a LOT right off the bat they were just desperate for anyone, and I used to like the challenge of really winning someone over. It finally dawned on me that I deserve someone who truly cares about me and I probably also got to the point where I was more mature and ready for a serious relationship. And then I met Bahzad. God why cant you females come to this realisation a little sooner instead of post 25 by which time youre Christmas cake and so full of emotional baggage and batsh*t crazy that you make any relationship toxic. Not a comment against you Xandra just in general. Yeah, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble but I did learn some important lessons along the way. Although I'm starting to think that people equate lack of naiveté with emotional baggage. I don't try to punish my bf for the misdeeds of previous bfs, if anything I appreciate him all the more for being loads better.
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Post by Freecia on Sept 28, 2007 21:31:06 GMT -5
My dad wasn't really around when I grew up so I've never been too close to him. Then as I got older I started to understand what he'd been doing to my mother and to this family as a whole.
As morbid as it sounds, I am glad my father turned out to be so bad on being a husband and a father, that he made me subconciously avoid partners who possess similiar qualities that he has.
I suppose if I had a good father who was loving, understanding, and supportive, why wouldn't I want a life long partner just like my father? It's a no brainer.
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