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Post by DivaDancerLara on Sept 26, 2007 10:38:19 GMT -5
Do you have this experience? You dated someone and they seemed like a prince/cess and then the real truth comes out and they are like some big time cheater but you still like them.
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Post by LaFace on Sept 26, 2007 12:14:57 GMT -5
I know it's a generalisation that of course won't hold true because it has only been inspired by examples of a number of others I have seen, so by all means, correct me if I'm wrong, or debate the issue with me.
With regards to the thread topic, it seems to me as though girls who think someone is wrong for them but still feel attracted to the person's character, find it hard to get around this mind frame, sometimes resulting in the girl trying to find excuses for herself and/or for other people as to why he is in fact suited to her. Even though it is none of my business, it can be frustrating to witness this, because it is as though the girl is turning a blind eye to her emotional/mental requirements.
Where as on the other hand, if a guy thinks someone is wrong for them but is still attracted to the person, it is usually because of a shallow and merely physical foundation, ie he just wants to get in her pants. This obviously also isn't a healthy perspective to have. It's as though the guy realises that his emotional/mental requirements can't be fulfilled, but is willing to forgo them in order to alleviate physical desires. I'm not saying this is the case with me, but having gone to an all boys school and having many male friends, I do know how many males think.
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Post by cjsdad on Sept 26, 2007 12:40:35 GMT -5
Thrill seeking behavior takes many forms.
This variant can be VERY self destructive.
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Sept 26, 2007 13:27:28 GMT -5
I know it's a generalisation that of course won't hold true because it has only been inspired by examples of a number of others I have seen, so by all means, correct me if I'm wrong, or debate the issue with me. With regards to the thread topic, it seems to me as though girls who think someone is wrong for them but still feel attracted to the person's character, find it hard to get around this mind frame, sometimes resulting in the girl trying to find excuses for herself and/or for other people as to why he is in fact suited to her. Even though it is none of my business, it can be frustrating to witness this, because it is as though the girl is turning a blind eye to her emotional/mental requirements. Where as on the other hand, if a guy thinks someone is wrong for them but is still attracted to the person, it is usually because of a shallow and merely physical foundation, ie he just wants to get in her pants. This obviously also isn't a healthy perspective to have. It's as though the guy realises that his emotional/mental requirements can't be fulfilled, but is willing to forgo them in order to alleviate physical desires. I'm not saying this is the case with me, but having gone to an all boys school and having many male friends, I do know how many males think. Yes but it all boils down to the same thing for both woman and men...I don't think this is a gender specific issue |
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Post by LaFace on Sept 26, 2007 13:31:05 GMT -5
^Yep, it was just a mere observation of a few people in my personal life. I do admit I'm not the best-equipped person to discuss the topic, but felt like contributing to the thread anyway!
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Sept 26, 2007 13:32:17 GMT -5
^ no no ...your observation I think is right though
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Post by Aiko on Sept 26, 2007 14:23:55 GMT -5
No, I don't make excuses for myself. The person lose my trust very quickly, if he is as Lara had described. I simply walk away and move on very quickly.
EDIT: I'm not a cold hearted bitch. I just have no respect for cheaters and people who obviously aren't worth my time. I'm very tolerant in general, other than that.
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Post by 0 on Sept 26, 2007 15:55:05 GMT -5
EDIT: I'm not a cold hearted bitch. I just have no respect for cheaters and people who obviously aren't worth my time. I'm very tolerant in general, other than that. I remember a certain email you showed me...  |
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Post by avax on Sept 26, 2007 16:18:55 GMT -5
EDIT: I'm not a cold hearted bitch. I just have no respect for cheaters and people who obviously aren't worth my time. I'm very tolerant in general, other than that. I remember a certain email you showed me... Are you cheating on me, woman? |
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Post by thekrez on Sept 27, 2007 3:15:03 GMT -5
Yes Im in love with someone completely toxic for me. I know better, I know what I should be doing, but I cant, I cant physically do what I know is necessary.
This has only happened twice before with other girls in my life, if I have it my way this will be the last.
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Post by Nikki on Sept 27, 2007 7:27:05 GMT -5
Yep. Happens all the time. But I tend to know they're toxic, mental and completely badnewsbears and my Better Judgement tends to grab the reins and make the other part of me stfu.
MOST of the time.
Most.
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Post by waywardwolf on Sept 27, 2007 7:43:29 GMT -5
I got involved with a girl who just split town one day. She didn't really take anything from me, but then again, she knew I had squat to take. She took a few other people for quite a bit, or so I heard. They may have just been complaining to try to get something out of me. I guess I'd take her back, and maybe she'd leave me a mumbling mess again, but.. that's life I suppose.
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Sept 27, 2007 10:57:16 GMT -5
Its so easy to personalize it and think that you were to blame -that if you were some how better they would change.These buggars are so charismatic they mask their bad side...until you are hooked and totally smitten.
My friends and I termed them emotional vampires who try to steal your soul.
THen there are the cons and gigilos who want you to pay their rent and steal your sofa.
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Post by avax on Sept 27, 2007 11:05:12 GMT -5
In the past, it had less to do with them and more to do with me and not knowing our limitations beforehand. I stay away from crowd-pleasers and the very "friendly". Probably the same way celebrities do nothing for me.
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Post by DivaDancerLara on Sept 27, 2007 11:08:18 GMT -5
^ yeah sometimes its really obvious and girls know better.
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