Key Questions To Ask Potential Suitors.

[truelies]

1.theres no real skill in what he's doing, i'm more impressed by knowledge and wisdom then magic, so that would have to be a no.

2. the turtle... obviously i don't gain anything from it other then a possible emotional attatchment to the turtle? although i'd get money for hitler's skull, i think i'd be pretty scarred having to look at hitler every day not to mention everyone i knew would think i was an odd character, to put it nicely.

3. everyone has their quirks... and this is pretty extreme, but if i loved the person enough i'd try to look past this abnormality, or better still get them some help.

4. $5, enough to make a difference, but not a big one. i'm pretty content.

5. random good times i'd had with each of them. or something completely random altogether.

6. sex with the co-worker, mainly because its true.

[Nikki]

lex said:

if I had known you were trying to date me I would have gone about things differently. allow me to attempt to actually answer your questions.

Well done. I pale in comparison with Bahzad though, I'm not even going to attempt to compete.

exhale85 said:

So if I happen to answer with responses that matches your tastes perfectly then you would date me?
*thinks real hard and strains himself*

Sure. It's that simple.

Claudia, the book is called "Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs." Heh, definitely *not* a moralistic guide nor anything to do with finding out what kind of person you are It's more a social commentary and a wealth of pop culture references about 30% of which I do not get because I'm simply not that hip. It's an incredibly fun read though -- especially when you're at school surrounded by Japanese people who wouldn't understand if you started making references about Zack Morris or Cocoa Puffs or Dennis Rodman or Brenda Walsh etc. It's heavily American pop culture based...

[waywardwolf]

kyuree said:

oh and wolf, would you date me?

I wish dating was like this in the real world.... Do you own any skulls?

[dannyd]

^ Don't make a joke of her proposal mate!

[i move the stars for no one]

oh,why not.
1.i'd be kind of hard pressed to decide.on one hand,the guy does this unthinkingly without having ever worked toward it,giving einstein the edge.on the other hand,what he's doing is real magic.i suppose i would find Einstein more impressive since this guy seems to be a mere conduit for something really amazing.

2.well,on a purely practical level,there are so many things that could keep the turtle from livingthat i wouldn't want to make a comittment like that i might not be able to keep,especially with a fine i couldn't afford.as for the skull,i never have anyone over anyway,and should i have to,i can tell them my own opinion of hitler without violating the rule about the display being apolitical.

3.it would be incredibly annoying,but really,if this person is perfect in every other way,they'd still be a keeper.all the things you have to learn to compromise and tolerate with a long term partner anyway,this would be small in the face of everything else being what you've always wanted.

4.probably wouldn't pay him anything without knowing about all the repercussions.if it were truly harmless,i might give him a five just for the hell of it.

5.i spend an inordinate amount of time trying to avoid the people i've slept with,i don't think i'd be r.s.v.p.-ing to this banquet.

6.the false rumor's much more troubling.having people believe that i would do something completely unethical to shirk the responsibility for something really stupid i'd done.

7.wouldn't do it.one wrong doesn't right umpteen others.

8.i'd swallow the pill but man,what a horrible loss.

9.i'd rather eat glass,thanks.

10.only someone who's never owned a cat would even ask this.

11.release it.the farmer should look after his chickens better,the fox is only doing what comes naturally to it.traps are hateful;i have a big irrational soft spot when it comes to wild things.

12.wait for a refund if i'm not in a hurry,take the melty slurpee if i am.

13.smile impersonally and not say anything.

[waywardwolf]

dannyd said:

^ Don't make a joke of her proposal mate!

Hah ha, well then, I wouldn't let a little Hitler's skull bother me.

[Roam'n]

To answer Nikki's OP. (Where did all those other questions come from??)

1. The magician be would be more impressive for scientific study. Einstein's work would eventually get discovered regardless of Einstein existence.

2. Having Hitler's skull in my living room would be pretty cool. Of course, I hardly ever have visitors so no-one would need to be bugged by it.

3. I wouldn't marry that. It's like marrying a god freak.

4. I'd give $0. I'd rather work with what I got.

5. I'd do a self-depreciating speech about having bad sex with me.. It would be a very small banquet anyways. You could count the attendees -including myself- with one hand.

6. The stealing office supply rumor would bug me more, since it's more of a matter of trust. I normally don't have the chutzpah to do the office banging, but it would be a victimless rumor.

[halfbreed]

jewelnyc said:

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks-- he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and the others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five magic tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.
Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

Probably not, because he can only ever do 5 tricks - which means he'll never change or grow.

jewelnyc said:

2. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 dollars per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.
Which option do you select?

Hitler's skull because you get money out of it and I think it'd be cool to look after the skull of a major historical figure.

I'm sure they'd find someone else to look after the turtle. I already have 2 lizards, I don't want my house looking like some kind of reptile zoo.

jewelnyc said:

3. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."
Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

No! I'm sure the phase would pass one day. Even if it didn't, I don't think I'd be that bothered by it. I'd find it interesting to hear their thoughts on the movie's philosophy.

jewelnyc said:

4. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But-- somehow-- this person is suddenly more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though-- you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.
How much cash do you give the wizard?

'How much for ultimate sexiness?'
*wizard's answer*
*pays that*

jewelnyc said:

5. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a 15 minute speech to the assembly.
What do you talk about?

How important each of them were.

jewelnyc said:

6. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover there are currently two rumors circulating in the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don't believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.
Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

Stealing office supplies! People do crazy things when they're drunk. It's forgivable. But I wouldn't want people thinking I'm a gambler and a thief!

lex said:

Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with a thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that-for some reason- every political prisoner on earth has cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel toed boots.
WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO THIS?

No.

lex said:

You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: every three years, someone will break both of your soulmate's collarbones with a Cresent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: you must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear-for the rest of your life- sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice In Chains. When you hear Credence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice In Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice In Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).
WOULD YOU SWALLOW THE PILL?

Yes.

lex said:

At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR". This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: when you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.
WOULD YOU STILL DO THIS?

No.

lex said:

For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can sudddenly read on a twelfth-grade level. They can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their own existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).
THAT BEING THE CASE, DO YOU THINK THE AVERAGE CAT WOULD ENJOY GARFIELD, OR WOULD CATS FIND THIS CARTOON TO BE AN INSULTING CARICATURE?

I think the majority of cats would find they could relate. (Enjoy)

[jenming]

someone wants to hear me talk about my opinion? WHEEEEEEEEE!

1. Einstein wins. Einstein worked for years and years, developing his knowledge of physics, the world, etc before he got any renown. Being impressed by someone's magic tricks (though real) is just as shallow as being impressed by a woman who has big boobs. She did nothing to get them.

2. I'd take hitler's skull. Purely for the amount of conversation it would cause. Think of it.... you're at a party... there's an uncomfortable lull in conversation... "Hey, see that? That's hitler." (a million questions ensue - one of which being "where did you get it" - the answer being: "From a quiz Nikki posted on EAN.")

3. I love her already. I probably have about 10 different shows or movies at any given time for which the "too much quoting / analyzing / relating" problem is true, so who am I to judge?

4. I give 30 dollars. Enough to make all of the attendees sit up and take notice (and maybe regret their decisions) for when I go to #5 (the meeting all my exes banquet).

5. I talk about the Dark Crystal, and how seeing everybody gathered together is like when the Mystics and Skeksies re-convene when the planets align.

6. The stealing rumor bothers me more. I value my honesty much more than I value chastity.