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Post by viruslabrat on Nov 14, 2007 1:04:14 GMT -5
I joined Facebook a few months ago and I've come to a bit of a dilemma. Originally when I joined it was just to keep in touch with friends but a couple of weeks ago someone from work found me and now all these co-workers have requested that I add them as a friend. I like to keep my social life and work life separate but since I don't want the drama that will come from denying their requests I've added them (limited profile only). Trouble is there are a couple of people from work that I don't really want to be associated with there as well. I try to keep my distance from them - they consider themselves the "hot" group and they've been trying to snare me in but it's hard to do without appearing rude. I think they're all pretty shallow and conceited (one's even lied and claimed to be a medical scientist when she's really just a technical assistant) and I hate the way they make fun of some people (like Tom, our quiet orderly, awesome guy btw). I don't want people thinking I'm like them. So what should I do? Delete them (female-dominated workplace, there's always gossip and it gets bitchy at times)? Wait a couple of months, delete them and hope they won't notice? Do my best to let everyone know that hey, I don't really hang out with these people at work? Also, have you found any long lost friends on Facebook? I've found someone I knew when I was 6 and lived on the other side of the world. Also looked up a few people I went to school with to see where they are now. There was one kid that I knew in grade 7 who came to Australia as a refugee from Bosnia. He never had any friends and used to wander around the school on his own. I always felt bad about not trying to make friends with him (I think he was shy, like I was at the time) though I met him before he started at my school and I always wondered what happened to him. Turns out he's now studying law in another state. It's so weird finding out what people are doing now when the last time you saw them was when you were just kids.
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Post by long on Nov 14, 2007 1:19:40 GMT -5
Do you really think people are going to start judging you based on whom your connected to on facebook? People are connected to 100's of people on there, it means nothing! Work and social life separate? Does facebook really constitute part of someone's social life? I don't like most of the people that I'm 'friends' with.. I kid of course.. facebook's as exciting as my social life gets.. Add me! Add me!
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Post by viruslabrat on Nov 14, 2007 1:43:49 GMT -5
Not everyone will judge me by the people I'm connected to on Facebook but people that don't know me that well who also work at the same place as I do might see them (and there's plenty of PathWest workers on there). We've already got a reputation as the bitchiest department, I'd hate to think people from other departments might assume I'm the same as the others. Besides, I only ever meant to have ACTUAL friends on my list. I consider it a part of my social life since my friends aren't virtual friends, they're people that I see when I go out and I keep in touch with them. I like Facebook because it's easier and neater than email to plan get-togethers etc instead of the mass emails and everyone going "reply all". It's a pain when you have to read through 20 emails where each person has just given a short "yes, I can make it" or "no, I've got something on" message. Until now I've only added people that I like, I was hoping to stick to that rule... oh well.
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Post by long on Nov 14, 2007 3:06:00 GMT -5
I think you should simply take comfort in the knowledge that your ACTUAL friends really do think you're pretty great and aren't going to judge you based on a few people that you happen to hit accept for. Most people aren't going to be scanning through your friends list anyway. Don't over-think it I say.
Yeah, I admit facebook is nice, I wasn't trying to sarcastically diss it. I was sarcastically dissing myself..
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Post by cinnamoroll on Nov 14, 2007 13:16:30 GMT -5
LOL you think you've got it bad - my DAD added me.
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Post by dannyd on Nov 14, 2007 15:03:39 GMT -5
^ My mum me haha
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Post by avax on Nov 14, 2007 16:54:39 GMT -5
Not everyone will judge me by the people I'm connected to on Facebook but people that don't know me that well who also work at the same place as I do might see them (and there's plenty of PathWest workers on there). We've already got a reputation as the bitchiest department, I'd hate to think people from other departments might assume I'm the same as the others. Besides, I only ever meant to have ACTUAL friends on my list. I consider it a part of my social life since my friends aren't virtual friends, they're people that I see when I go out and I keep in touch with them. I like Facebook because it's easier and neater than email to plan get-togethers etc instead of the mass emails and everyone going "reply all". It's a pain when you have to read through 20 emails where each person has just given a short "yes, I can make it" or "no, I've got something on" message. Until now I've only added people that I like, I was hoping to stick to that rule... oh well. You should have created another account. Or created a first account that isn't your real name so you're not easily searchable. Tell every dick who asks you that don't have any such thing. I'm pretty guarded about FB though I couldn't have cared less previously. I had the account for half a year before actively creating events and doing get togethers, checking up marketplace, or city events. I've also deleted contacts without hesitation. I delete if I don't even like a person's Notes. Law 1: Never include dating potentials. And never date a friend who is on your list. If something happens, look apologetic, delete and explain that's just how you roll. Law 2: Family members must be protected. Exercise privacy options. Law 3: Never EVER add colleagues, co-workers, bosses or anyone in the workplace. Avoid. Say you have carpal tunnel syndrome, momentary induced seizures if you see networking sites like that, whatever.
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Post by lo1337a on Nov 17, 2007 15:57:04 GMT -5
Not everyone will judge me by the people I'm connected to on Facebook but people that don't know me that well who also work at the same place as I do might see them (and there's plenty of PathWest workers on there). We've already got a reputation as the bitchiest department, I'd hate to think people from other departments might assume I'm the same as the others. Besides, I only ever meant to have ACTUAL friends on my list. I consider it a part of my social life since my friends aren't virtual friends, they're people that I see when I go out and I keep in touch with them. I like Facebook because it's easier and neater than email to plan get-togethers etc instead of the mass emails and everyone going "reply all". It's a pain when you have to read through 20 emails where each person has just given a short "yes, I can make it" or "no, I've got something on" message. Until now I've only added people that I like, I was hoping to stick to that rule... oh well. Just make sure that you keep them on your limited profile view only and it should be fine. If anyone asks about it, just say that you only use it to keep in touch with friends abroad (or some such excuse), otherwise you're not on it much at all. Then request that they only use your work email for contact since that makes it easier for you to keep track of everything. I try to keep my work and social folks separate too. Facebook is nice and convenient but I would like to keep my drunken party pictures away from potential bosses and/or people who may or may not use them to stab me in the back one day. Also, if I want to post youtube stuff that only my friends will find funny, I like to be able to do that without anyone else seeing. Supposedly a lot of places now will take your email addresss and use it to find your myspace and facebook profiles. Keep that stuff under wraps man, always use the private profile option.
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Post by lo1337a on Nov 17, 2007 16:00:38 GMT -5
^^^ Oh and Celtriya is completely right. Don't use your real name. Use a nickname or something as your first name. That way if people want to add you they have to ask.
If it's someone you like, then it's as simple as telling them.
If it's someone sketchy, then it's as simple as saying that the person they found isn't you (Note: only works if your profile picture is significantly ambiguous).
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tbw
Full Member
Posts: 332
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Post by tbw on Nov 20, 2007 11:10:35 GMT -5
Doesn't facebook have a privacy search option - so even if they look you up they may not be able to find you. Yea, just had a look, go to privacy and turn settings to lowest options. This way only your current friends can see you and search for you. You can still search for others and add them If there's someone I don't want to add as a friend, they just stay in my notifications waiting for 'accept/ignore' as I do neither. FB can be really evil, got one mate who got too mixed up in it and now his work life and social lives are intertwined way too much.
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Post by JohnCoolYoungHistory on Nov 21, 2007 1:13:09 GMT -5
i tried my best to not sound rude in my reply but... you worry too much
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Post by viruslabrat on Nov 21, 2007 3:50:49 GMT -5
I don't think it's so much career-destroying as reputation destroying (and I was considering putting my employer as PathWest - Laboratory for the Damned until I figured I might want another job in PathWest!). A lot of people where I work are connected to people from other departments (except for mentioned group) so by way of tracking they could see which co-workers are listed as my friends (I do it, so I figured why wouldn't they). I've already had relations with another department undermined by a co-worker's bitchy antics and I'm pretty sure such incidents tend to be remembered. Hmmm... the only solution I see is to be EXTRA nice to other departments just in case.
Anyways, does anyone have any interesting stories about their Facebook experience? Re-united with any long-lost friends? Found out that your childhood crush was actually gay all along? ;D Please share!
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Post by lo1337a on Nov 21, 2007 4:02:27 GMT -5
My kindergarten boyfriend found me on Facebook. We never talk, but we had five or six messages back and forth that were really entertaining. ^_^
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Post by viruslabrat on Nov 21, 2007 4:12:20 GMT -5
^That is so cute! Some people I knew when I was younger have changed so much that I hardly recognise them, mostly for the better though
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Post by viruslabrat on Mar 24, 2008 11:20:28 GMT -5
Heh heh, someone with a heightened sense of self-importance has reported back to the boss that people aren't saying nice things about work on Facebook. I knew it would only be a matter of time. I personally haven't seen anything of concern (they're all obviously just jokes) but self-declared Facebook monitor has taken to stalking people's profiles to see what they're writing. My profile's private and I've hidden my wall, work, contact details, education info and friends from this person (mainly just to annoy them). I believe this person's been very sneaky though because he hasn't actually confronted the people he's complaining about and he went and told the boss what I think were exaggerated accounts of people's posts. I also get the feeling he also read posts unrelated to work that I made on friends walls (that he doesn't know and are completely unassociated with my job). He's also obviously out of touch with the realities of working in the lab since he got promoted to a senior scientist. Here's my question: Should I let people know what he's doing so they have the opportunity to hide their walls from him or do I just keep my mouth shut?
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