Do Parents Have Favourites?

[halfbreed]

What do you think? Do parents tend to prefer one kid over the other(s)?

[Emily]

I'm pretty sure my sister and I are equally loved by my parents. What might be problematic is that I was a "model child," whereas my little sister struggled/struggles a bit more. My parents blatantly compare her to me, which I find unfortunate. They do this because they only want my sister to have/be the best and they think I'm doing the right thing.

So no, no favoritism in my family, but definitely some behavior that might lead to think so.

[viruslabrat]

Yes, Kev is mum's favourite. But that's OK. He can look after her when she's old

[xandra]

I think that the eldest child tends to be the more responsible/"good" one and the younger kids are more likely to push the envelope with breaking the rules and all of that.

So in that regard I always felt like my sister was favoured by my mom since she was easier to handle, and my brother was favoured by my dad by virtue of being a male. Then again, that could just be the bitter middle child in me coming out.

[helles]

I'm not so sure about favourites.. well, actually, my mum gets on better with my sister and they are closer, so I would say that my mum's favourite is my sister.. esp as my sister will bend over backwards to please her too.
But, being the first child of my mum, I have felt that she has given me special favours, eg. randomly giving me money when i was at uni and broke, buying me things etc - but supposeedly not to my sister..
However, my mum also had a habit of playing me and my sister against each other. esp with.. dont tell your sister i'm giving you money blabla.. so it prob worked both ways.

[cinnamoroll]

I don't want to think about this question, it's very stressful.

[Freecia]

I was told by my mom that she loves us all the same, but she clearly favored my sister over my brother and I. You don't just take one of the three kids out shopping and buy her clothes or not punish her when all three kids made the same mistakes at the same time. Bleh.

I use to have a lot of problems with that in my teenage angst years, but over the years I guess I learnt and accepted that fact, because I know my mom loves me. She may not favor me over other siblings but at least she loves me. That's all I care about.

I think I'm my dad's favorite though, because my sister doesn't get along with him very well, and my brother kept doing stuff or not do stuff that makes his brows clinche. My dad'd always say drive safe and all the silly but sweet comments/advices when he'd never say that to my other siblings.

[xandra]

I've been thinking about this a bit more and I don't think my mom played favourites ever. If anything, the longer I live with her the more similarities I can see. For sure I was more difficult and my sister is more responsible, but my mom and I have a similar sense of humour and are more affectionate. Growing up I felt more of the middle sibling syndrome, but not so much now.

[Freecia]

^ I had the middle child syndrom too, and just like you, I grew out of it. It doesn't bother me or makes me wonder who or if my mom has a favorite.

[TeeHee]

With the 10-year age difference between my brother and I(we're currently 14 and 24, respectively) and the fact that we are different genders, there was never a truly level playing field for our parents to really judge between us. Our mother is very gender-strict, so there were/are things expected more out of me as the older daughter that wouldn't be expected from my brother as the younger son, and vice versa. Such expectations of my bro might change as he gets older. We're in completely different fields of interest, neither of which our parents had previously imagined. But yea, no favorites here.

[ConceptDesign]

not the fave, my youngest sib can take that honour... and the geriatric responsibility as far as I'm concerned.

[Ave`]

Parents are humans too. As much they dont like to admit to others or themselves. They do have favourites. My moms fav is my elder brother easily coz hes the only son out of 6 siblings. Actually he deserves it, hes smart and everything an only son could be. My sister told me Im my moms 2nd fav. Mostly coz I always make her proud and almost never cause her trouble. This didnt mean I was an obedient teenager but I go through a lot of pains and detail to make sure what I do doesnt effect her. And I look a lot like her.

[Freecia]

kyuree said:

I just had a talk about this topic w/ a friend last night. Coincidently she's the same mix as me. Her older sister was always favoured by her parents and grandparents. She says that they have always been saying how her sister is the intelligent one and she would probably end up being a worker, that she has worker hands, too (not fine hands like her sister) etc.
I dunno how you can discourage a kid so much . Why would you constantly tell a kid that she's not as intelligent and destined to be successful than her sister?!

Funny you mentioned it. When we were little, my grandma had always told my sister and I how she's going to the best high school (In Taiwan you take entrace exam to get in high schools), and how I'll go to the 2nd best high school. It sounded funny to me, that just because I was the 2nd born, I could only logically, go to the 2nd best high school. I don't think the grandparents have any problem, or realize this is offensive rating their grandchildren simply by their birth orders.


I think it's hard not to favor one child than the other when the child is doing much better than the other. IE, better looking, better grades, more obedient...etc. Just like how you may have a parent that you like more than the other because of how they treat you and interact with you.

[saeka]

My parents try to treat us equal, we all have our good points and the bad...

[Ganbare!]

My little sister is my mother's favorite, I guess it's because she's the only girl and a cute one at that yet my mom has always seemed to be worried about me so it sometimes looked like I was her favorite because she directed so much attention on me. That said, I understand her viewpoint as I'm far from being the perfect, law-abiding and well-ajusted son she wished I were. At the end she's proud I'm independent in most aspects of life even if I still dress edgy, am not physically very present though I call home frequently and have a few personal lifestyle choices she disapproves of.

Don't you feel your parents' expectations are unrealistic? Regardless of how much we want to please them, we have our own existences to lead. There seems to be a colossal number of parents not grasping their offspring are not toys they can model after personal ideals and therefore are eternally unsatisfied...