wazzy
Full Member
Posts: 303
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Post by wazzy on Aug 7, 2007 9:12:26 GMT -5
Got a quick joke to tell...leave it here....
"From 3000 Miles to Graceland" What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere.
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Post by dannyd on Aug 7, 2007 9:48:22 GMT -5
While I was driving down the A38 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over,walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up To two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet." Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot ars*hole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
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Post by dannyd on Aug 8, 2007 7:28:19 GMT -5
Two women are walking home after a girlie night out. They are very drunk and the walk home is taking some time due to their intoxicated state. Eventually they find themselves desperate for a wee. At that particular moment they are passing a church and decide to go behind the headstones in the graveyard. As they finish they both realise they have nothing to 'freshen up' with so the first woman decides to use her knickers and then throw them away.
The second woman is wearing very expensive underwear and is reluctant to lose them, when she notices a new grave nearby with lots of fresh flowers, amongst which is a very lavish bouquet with a thick soft ribbon 'just the job' she decides and without another thought duly drags the bouquet over and uses the ribbon to dry herself. Their task complete the women continue staggering home.
Next morning the husband of the first woman phones the husband of the second. "We need to keep an eye on our wives. Mine came home with no knickers on last night." "You think you've got problems," exclaims the second husband. "My wife came home last night with a card stuck up her arse that said 'We'll never forget you, from All the Lads at the Fire Station.'
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wazzy
Full Member
Posts: 303
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Post by wazzy on Aug 8, 2007 10:12:04 GMT -5
How do you make a Kleenex Dance??
Put a little boogie in it!
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Post by 2bob on Aug 9, 2007 3:50:53 GMT -5
how do you drown a blonde? put a scatch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool
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Post by attilathehun513 on Dec 25, 2007 23:43:27 GMT -5
how do you drown a blonde? put a scatch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool ;D ;D
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