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Post by Subuatai on Sept 22, 2009 6:55:53 GMT -5
^ It's always safer to just say "I don't like him/her" and leave it as that, or just say "Not my type". Nonetheless you are correct that preferences for a certain look, body, personality, etc - these are natural. I feel it can only be called racism when you meet someone who actually satisfies all such standards yet you don't want to be with them or have a child with them just because of race - which is what happened in my past. So I'm the ex-racist one here who people should be pointing the finger at
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hypeforlife91
Full Member
fashionEAsta!
Crazy for Dots.
Posts: 464
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Post by hypeforlife91 on Sept 22, 2009 7:20:04 GMT -5
^ It's always safer to just say "I don't like him/her" and leave it as that, or just say "Not my type". Nonetheless you are correct that preferences for a certain look, body, personality, etc - these are natural. I feel it can only be called racism when you meet someone who actually satisfies all such standards yet you don't want to be with them or have a child with them just because of race - which is what happened in my past. So I'm the ex-racist one here who people should be pointing the finger at I was only joking about the other stuff I said, so that people get the point. Obviously the "not my type" or "it's what I prefer" confuses some people. Just wanted to clarify with some analogies. I didn't mean anything bad. Sowwi to all I offended with my lame childish jokes.=3
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Post by Subuatai on Sept 22, 2009 7:32:41 GMT -5
No no no, you didn't offend anyone don't worry lol ;D Just speak your mind, it's all good, cheers I'm just trying to catch the arrows aimed at ya heh, got a big enough ass for all of em too ;D
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Post by milkman's baby on Sept 22, 2009 22:43:37 GMT -5
i think its a bit unfair to label a person racist for having their own preferences. we all have our own preferences when it comes to dating. i have met attractive black women before, but i can't really picture myself being with them, and they probably feel the same way toward me too; since we just have not that many thing we could relate to... but that shouldn't make me a racist. i think its right that we should give everyone a chance, but at the same time, i do also have somewhat a similar belief that if you get into a relationship with someone, you should take it seriously and not treat it as a experiment, since it be fair to your partner too. i think her bf is really lucky to have met a girl like her who have that kind of belief when it comes to relationship; since there are just not that many people out there that treats relationships like that. But the fact that this is "hypes" first love may also be a factor, but to be together for over 3 years is pretty impressive; since from a personal standpoint, i haven't had a relationship last longer than a year. I am glad somebody shares my thoughts. I am absolutely not a racist. I have black friends, even though not many live around here. I have also had a few in the past. Preferences are preferences. Simple as that. It's just like how you prefer certain cakes/foods to others. I like salty, but you may like sweet. I'm used to eating salty foods and isn't thinking about changing anytime soon. I just prefer not to eat black forest cake. Even though they can be tasty. . No offense to black forest cake afficianados nor black people. <3 But calling me a racist for that is just like calling people who love fast food fat. Not true. *Edit*: AND also the topic starter asked this question and has a poll on it. Would you call all those people racist for prefering one race over another? Hmm... . Did you vote yourself as well? Oh great, she pulled the "I have black friends" card. I'm just teasing. Look, you don't have to go on a long spiel defending yourself from being labeled a racist. Most people, despite how unracist they try to present themselves, have racist feelings/thoughts to a certain degree in some way or another, including me. I don't know at what point they get called a racist, but it's nothing to make a ruckus out of. You will see many posts on this board starting with one of the most overused disclaimers ever (in addition to the I-have-black-friends card ): "I'm not trying to be racist or anything, but..." And it usually is racist. And what you guys are saying isn't really all that bad, but the point where it sounds racist is that you guys are saying things like "their habits" and "can't relate to them" as if black people are some separate species with a set of traits inbred in them. If you don't find the black race physically attractive in general, fine whatever. But it's fallacious to say you don't like their personalities, because there is no such thing as a black personality or lifestyle. I think it would be good if you two were around more black people, of all different socioeconomic backgrounds and personalities. The more and different black people you meet, the better you can uncondition yourself from thinking of them in the Us & They sense. And I'm not preaching here, I need to work on this too. My case was different though - I went to a high school that was mostly white and perhaps 30% black (I don't know for sure). Most of the black students were bussed in from the a nearby city which was very ghetto with a high crime rate, and I got used to being around the stereotypical loud, quick-tempered, intimidating ghetto black kids. This completed the cycle of prejudice for me by becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, as I would and still sometimes do assume every black person I meet is like this before I even get to know them. Have I met black people who were very friendly and of good etiquette and class? Of course, but it is hard to get past all the negative experiences I had with black people. Ultimately, I do know better than to rely too much on stereotypes and past experiences and can stop myself, but I can see how it's very easy for anyone to fall back on them. That's why I try not to bag on people making racist or prejudice comments so much. So yeah, I don't blame you for having those thoughts, especially since you haven't been around many black people. Just try hard to keep an open mind free of assumptions when you meet people. Or if anything, just keep the thoughts on the DL. Because it's not gonna help the stereotype of Asian people being racist.
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Post by Subuatai on Sept 23, 2009 6:50:09 GMT -5
Hmmm, you can always try to put them into a "typical or not typical" categories within each group
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Post by Ganbare! on Sept 23, 2009 13:34:11 GMT -5
Guys with little confidence that gets rejected by girls love to brag racism as an excuse, some people just don't understand that others have either their preferences or that they need to better their game, as simple as that.
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Post by Subuatai on Sept 23, 2009 14:41:11 GMT -5
^ I agree with you on this. I remember dating black women in the past but it was not their physical form that made me ditch them, it's this pathetic racialist mentality that has been imposed on them.
Nonetheless I'm holding back a lot of crap in this thread. Hell I still have a lot of resentment against this entire thread to be honest. I know those who said "dating a Eurasian is like marrying your brother/sister" are just voicing their opinions and sure they are entitled to them.
But me and my wife are both literally "Eurasians", what the flying f--k does that make us? And of the same breed? ROFL!!! ;D If that was true then we would never have to had racism to deal with between ourselves and our families. And also if the whole world had only 3 races then sure! But contrary to 18th century European racialists who f--king built HUMAN ZOOs the world is far more diverse then what those stupid colonials believed.
It's interesting looking back, for 9 months from the very first moment we met, we became the best of mates, but when I broke up with my ex... things became well... more then 'just friends'. One thing led to another... but as soon as we became official - what do you know... ALL HELL F--KING BROKE LOOSE. Race, religion, friends, family, classism, wealth, you name it the f--king world threw everything at us but the kitchen sink.
Our relationship turned into a f--king battlefield where we fought for our own feelings yet like two stupid individuals too madly in foolish youthful love to think logically we fought EACH OTHER over our troubles imposed on us by the very society who despised us. We tore each other apart over bulls*** that meant absolutely NOTHING in the end. Many of these fights that we have had were f--king meaningless.
F--k race! F--k it all damn it!
NOTE: Yes I know it's a remix but I like this metal version
Heh funny, bloody all these oldie squids back in my youth once told me "only thing worth fighting for is love", I spat on that belief, laughed out loud right in their faces. But the annoying thing is that they have been f--king right all along.
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Post by admin on Sept 23, 2009 15:56:19 GMT -5
. F--k race! F--k it all damn it!. You are on a board that is based on bringing people together who are mixed. Eurasian Nation - that has race built right into it. Not just how we define ourselves but how others try and define us. People will and should discuss all matter here, including 'race' as they define it and as others try to put it on them.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2009 4:20:03 GMT -5
I've always felt that I didn't really "have a right" to have any sort of preference when it came to race since I couldn't really be placed myself.Not that I even have a preference anyway, come to think of it. Was wondering if anyone else here felt that way.
I live in a mostly white oil town that has had a pretty recent influx of immigration. Recently I was seated at a table next to a bunch of white frat boys at a restaurant and I overheard them talking about women of other races. One of them said something along the lines of "I'd do a non white chick but would never date one"...This bothered me more than anything I've heard in a long time. I felt so angry It took everything in me to stop from walking over and throwing his drink in his face.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having a preference. But when a person refuses to give someone even a chance based purely on their race, it boggles my mind.
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Post by lawrencex on Jan 2, 2010 17:49:25 GMT -5
Nozbee, yeah I feel the same way too in regards to background. No one could ever place me, and i never had a preference in the first place...I guess this is not very interesting in terms of details, but if I had to describe my type it would be "anyone with an imagination" which eliminates most people from the dating spectrum. You should have thrown that drink in his face, as a real expression of outrage and just to see the expression on his face, hah. It also helps that most Eurasian girls are exceptionally beautiful...
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Post by Micha on Jan 2, 2010 18:09:37 GMT -5
I've dated a lot of Eurasians - many of my relationships didn't turn out nearly as good as I thought they'd be. I grew up, in parts, in Asia but I do feel very British but I have this pre-conceived idea that dating a Eurasian will make the relationship flexible and eventually we'll have that 'we're made for each other' feeling. PAH. I think Eurasians in Asia are very perceptive, usually having attended international school or really being singled out as 'white' and different. Almost every Eurasian guy I've dated here couldn't be more eager to get away and deny their Asian culture. Pick them well!
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Post by midnightnovelist on Jan 8, 2010 12:15:07 GMT -5
If people don't 'click' and you don't enjoy the person's personality in that way, then things may not so easily work out. Since Eurasians come from such a diverse range of backgrounds, I think it may be discussed that maybe it's harder to find another Eurasian who 'clicks' with you. Of course, there's also the counter-argument (which I prefer but don't know if it's stronger) that since most Eurasians are multicultural, despite coming from a diverse range of backgrounds it actually brings us closer together and makes it easier to communicate / get along with, at least amongst each other. Any opinions on this?
I generally find Eurasians quite attractive, so I'd have no problem dating other Eurasians and would love to in the future if it's possible - so far in life I haven't dated a fellow Eurasian, but that's mainly because the last time I was in a relationship was for nearly four years - that, and I don't actually know many Eurasians where I'm currently living (whereas back home in Asia there are many more of us).
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Post by milkman's baby on Jan 8, 2010 12:26:58 GMT -5
Of course, there's also the counter-argument (which I prefer but don't know if it's stronger) that since most Eurasians are multicultural, despite coming from a diverse range of backgrounds it actually brings us closer together and makes it easier to communicate / get along with, at least amongst each other. Any opinions on this? I don't know. A lot of people assume that just because someone is in an interracial relationship they must be open in other senses (other races, homosexuality, etc.). This is NOT the case whatsoever with my conservative, military family. I ended up breaking away from this mentality so I am the exception, but you will find that many military brat EAs are just as close-minded as any other white person from a military family. Also, these days in Western cities so many Asians live amongst whites and assimilate completely so that would make for little difference and multi-culture in that household. So I don't know how far that assumption goes. I envy those of you who spent equal amounts of time between both your parents' countries and cultures (if they came from two different countries), but I for one have not and I know many EAs are not well-cultured either.
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Magic
New Member
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Post by Magic on Feb 19, 2010 13:40:32 GMT -5
Despite being a CONTROVERSIAL idea, I think the majority of us don't give a damn about being Eurasian, the low number of members on this board reinforces my belief. The handful of EA gals I have ever met either wished they were full Caucasian or did not think being EA was something particularly special. Anyway, the majority of Eurasians I see date White people male or female alike. I've always felt like Eurasians are kind of picky in dating. Of course, there's also the counter-argument (which I prefer but don't know if it's stronger) that since most Eurasians are multicultural, despite coming from a diverse range of backgrounds it actually brings us closer together and makes it easier to communicate / get along with, at least amongst each other. Any opinions on this? I don't think our differences really unites us, because cultural backgrounds, languages etc set us apart no matter what we want to believe.
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quiapo
Junior Member
Posts: 188
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Post by quiapo on Feb 21, 2010 1:44:53 GMT -5
People fall in love with people; I never thought much about the racial background of an intimate partner, but I did marry a total Anglo, while my son married a total Korean. Regardless of background I was always comfortable with whomever I was with, and apparently so has my son.
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