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Post by dead0baby0chick on Oct 6, 2008 21:22:00 GMT -5
So, does political or religious compatibility rate high on importance as far as deciding who you date goes? For me: political, yes definitely. Religious...yes, sometimes. As disheartened and apathetic as I've gotten about politics recently, I still couldn't ever date a Republican or a conservative of any kind. Although I do know some liberal/conservative couples that make it work. Religion...as long as they aren't a devout zealot who wants to convert me, they can believe whatever they want. They can worship the King Rat in the cupboard by dancing naked in the kitchen for all I care. Just don't expect me to join in.
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Post by long on Oct 6, 2008 22:21:11 GMT -5
When you're talking about simply 'dating' do you even necessarily know their views?
Dating, not particularly important; relationship, general world view is extremely important though specific political/religious stances can have some leeway.
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Oct 6, 2008 22:30:53 GMT -5
^True, people don't generally use full disclosure or even get to everything early on. I probably have casually dated people with opposing views from my own. I guess a better way to phrase it would be: upon learning that the person you've been casually dating has opposing views from you, can you consider them a potential relationship?
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Post by straylight on Oct 6, 2008 22:34:20 GMT -5
I guess I'm interested in people who are colored by many traits..Someone who has an individual personality and an open mind. Not that of a "towing the party line" drone. For politics or religion. Religion-wise, I consider myself a Christian at my core (for the sake of Jesus of Nazareth himself), but I'm not completely engulfed in some Christian worldview. I have my own "thoughts", I'm cultured, appreciative of other religions and philosophies, not some anti-intellectual who chooses "gut feelings" over "science", and realizes that there are all kinds of things to learn on Earth. If I was to really describe my worldview, it'd be that of a humanist.
Someone would have to be as open-minded as I am to even tolerate me in the first place... Because I'm going to go off-course sometimes. No matter if you're Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Wiccan, Atheist, whatever. I'm respectful and inquisitive and yet, a bit irreverent towards all of them. Sometimes offensive.. One day, I'll show my appreciation for a particular aspect of something, and then next, write another aspect off as something only a gibbering retard would believe.
It could apply to many things really.. If someone only listened to bands of one genre or only watched horror movies, I'd eventually clash with them too.
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Oct 6, 2008 22:36:35 GMT -5
^I hope you've never actually referred to your dates as "gibbering retards."  |
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Post by long on Oct 6, 2008 22:45:56 GMT -5
I think we're all more or less saying we want open-minded & intelligent partners, at least that's what I'm saying.  What particular aspect(s) of conservative ideology is a deal breaker for you TP? |
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Oct 6, 2008 22:49:42 GMT -5
^Honestly? There are a lot of factors, but the biggest dealbreaker for me is...I can never, ever date someone who is anti-abortion. That is hardly the only issue, but the one that means the most to me and that I cannot in anyway overlook. Not to say all conservatives are pro-lifers...but...come on, most are. And to be fair: I have tried. I've dated a couple devout Catholics, and tried to avoid it, but there ended up being some screaming matches. I just don't see the point of trying, dating shouldn't be that stressful. |
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Post by long on Oct 6, 2008 22:55:50 GMT -5
So at what point are you asking potential guys their abortion stance? I wouldn't say that topic tends to come up naturally too often in the early stages..
If abortion is the biggest thing, my bet is that you're better off screening by religious affiliation than political party.
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Post by betahat on Oct 6, 2008 22:57:09 GMT -5
I married a Jew, but she likes it for the same cultural aspects as Ethel likes catholicism. The occasional nice dinner, a special dance at weddings, etc. We get into the odd arguments - I'm a solid atheist and she's a vague `there's something more out there' person - but it certainly helps that she picks and chooses only the most convenient aspects of her culture (i.e. no dietary restrictions, no time-consuming visits to temples, no studying holy books, etc.) I thought I would end up with a fellow atheist but it turns out I only wanted someone who was mostly secular - whether someone deep down believes in an afterlife or some greater power does not matter, as long as they don't think that power actually listens to or answers their prayers (that's just a little too crazy for me).
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Post by long on Oct 6, 2008 22:58:00 GMT -5
Weren't you going to post wedding pics?  |
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Oct 6, 2008 23:00:52 GMT -5
Most Catholics have pre-marital sex, are pro-choice, use all sort of birth control along with the rhythm method, and don't go to church on Sundays. Which is why I said devout Catholic. I know you've mentioned a Catholic upbringing, but don't feel I'm unawares, I've had my fair share of Catholic influence throughout childhood with overly zealous relatives and lived in a lot of heavily Catholic neighborhoods. The fundamentals of Catholicism are pretty clear, the people of whom you speak are what I call "Sunday Catholics" (though they don't even go to mass). Not the types I'm talking about. I'm fine with dating a lax Catholic who is pro-choice. I was talking about devout Catholics I'd dated. |
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Post by straylight on Oct 6, 2008 23:37:20 GMT -5
^I hope you've never actually referred to your dates as "gibbering retards." Well, if she started talking about handling snakes or saying that an image of Jesus was in her tomato soup, then yeah, I'd call her a gibbering retard and then leave! ;D Funny though, y'see, I'm this way, but yet, I wouldn't fit the criteria of someone like you on the abortion issue. It's weird like that. |
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Post by dead0baby0chick on Oct 6, 2008 23:47:17 GMT -5
Uhoh, we'd better not talk about abortion then, I can get pretty hostile.
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Post by long on Oct 7, 2008 0:01:06 GMT -5
Was that the topic that ultimately got jewbird banned? It's fuzzy, but I seem to recall that was one of the fields of battle.
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Post by straylight on Oct 7, 2008 0:17:57 GMT -5
Uhoh, we'd better not talk about abortion then, I can get pretty hostile. Well, like I said in that other thread, I don't care to debate much of anything these days. It's just a stance I have, but I mostly express it personally. I couldn't deal with it on a personal level (not saying it's easy for people who do go through the process though... I know a few, and it's never easy for them). Luckily, I've never made the mistake of putting myself and someone else to make that decision. Anyways, I care about it, but I'm not picketing clinics or anything. I'm very liberal and exploratory in my religious attitude, but there's a Catholic doctrine that I follow.. The "Consistent Life" ethic? No Abortion, No Execution, No War. I simply can't come to grips with just championing one or two of them. And there are many liberals of the same stripe (in fact, it's liberals who coined the phrase)...I'm not alone on that one. So it's not like it's just a conservative thing. |
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