|
|
Post by halfbreed on May 22, 2009 3:58:40 GMT -5
As Eurasians, whether we procreate with an Asian, Caucausian or Eurasian, our children will still be Eurasian. If we reproduce with someone of a different race, though our kids won't be EA, they'll still be mixed. It's these circumstances that might make it hard for us to imagine what it would be like to have children of a different race. Yesterday, I spoke to a Caucasian guy who tends to go out with Asian girls. I asked him if he would marry one and the first thing he said was 'probably not'. He went on to say that he had to think about whether or not he'd want a half Asian child.
If you were monoracial, how do you think you'd feel about having a child of a different race?
-or- How would you feel, as you are now, having a monoracial baby?
Do you know how your parents felt?
|
|
|
|
Post by meep on May 22, 2009 7:08:15 GMT -5
As a parent, I don't think it would matter one bit what race/s my child will be. My child will be my precious regardless. Having said this, it is difficult to remove myself from my own cultural upbringings and multi-cultural environment and see in the eyes of a mono-cultural, mono-racial person. I don't imagine that someone of this contextual background would be so cruel as to determine whether or not they'd love and except their child on the basis of ethnicity. I guess what I am trying to say is that I find what your friend has said difficult to grasp.
I am quite open to the fact that my child will inevitably be mixed race. I will try my hardest to expose the child to the cultures of his/her heritage.
|
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on May 22, 2009 7:53:04 GMT -5
The term Eurasian is very broad and diverse, and we don't all have the same experiences. For example, I can actually understand that Caucasian bloke's views; here's why ->
Years ago, I never really planned to marry my wife. Even ended up putting us both through extensive heartbreak repeatedly over the course of 3 years because I hated her genes; I hated Swedes, and I hated Chinese. Still, we always ended up back together. But since I never wanted a child with her, we ended breaking up again, and again... until she got herself pregnant.
Now I kinda changed...
Sure, I'm mixed myself but definitely not with Norse or Chinese. Intermarriage with Russians is somewhat accepted due to kinship over centuries, and many Russian women such as Anastasia Ivanova Filatova; wife of Yumjaagiin Tsedenbal - who built many Mongol cultural centers, help remind Mongols of the lack of danger to our culture by intermarriage.
So my grandmother is somewhat accepted - especially when they learn about how she raised my father/uncle/aunt as Mongols by herself after granddad passed away. Unfortunately however there is still discrimination, I've heard recently about a Kalmyk Mongol who married a German woman in Russia who migrated with their daughter to the U.S.A. due to negative criticism from the Kalmyk community (Maybe because she's Germanic, not Slavic?)
So as for the topic:
Past experiences described above and how I felt.
But having matured due to my experience, I believe we all should stop classifying human beings into "races" when 94% of our genetic code is akin to each other. It's not only pointless and non-constructive; but innocent people get hurt with racialism. I look at my wife now as a human being, and as a fantastic one at that. As for my daughter, I hope she's going to be a better human person then both of us combined.
It would be a lot less stressful in today's world. I won't be this p*ssed off half the time at people. Nonetheless, part of me doesn't want to carry on the idiocy of my past or other people's racialism any longer.
|
|
|
|
Post by halfbreed on May 22, 2009 8:48:26 GMT -5
As a parent, I don't think it would matter one bit what race/s my child will be. My child will be my precious regardless. Having said this, it is difficult to remove myself from my own cultural upbringings and multi-cultural environment and see in the eyes of a mono-cultural, mono-racial person. I don't imagine that someone of this contextual background would be so cruel as to determine whether or not they'd love and except their child on the basis of ethnicity. I guess what I am trying to say is that I find what your friend has said difficult to grasp. Perhaps it's not so much a matter of acceptance as it is preference. He said that marriage was a 'business decision'. I suppose you could think of it as like... you have a choice (because it hasn't happened yet); so, what would you choose? A good example is Subuatai. He said he hated Swedes and Chinese. Obviously, he would not have chosen those genes for his daughter (but since she's his daughter, he loves her). Subuatai, have your feelings toward Swedish and Chinese people changed? Or has your solution been to turn a blind eye to race, saying we're all human? |
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on May 22, 2009 9:38:44 GMT -5
Difficult question... answer is both. I'll explain;
To be honest I admit I still haven't completely changed. I still have a side of me that is slow to such a big change. Sometimes I still have the hate. Sometimes when I think of Swedes, and their shameless genocide of the Saami/Soumi yet still to this day sometimes continue their obsession with their own "racial hygenics" - even attempted to dehumanise Russian people during the Empire days as "impure"... Chinese as well with how they view us Mongols as "uncivilised" "barbaric" "savages" and make extremely insultive comments against Mongol people, not to mention how many disrespect nature and commit some rather disgusting atrocities against animals... it brings up a lot of deep hatred to the point I once completely dehumanised them in my mind.
But I know such racism has caused not only me but my wife endless pain, as well as making me just like the very enemy I so passionately despise. There was no racism from her side; as she viewed me as a human being, but I viewed her as subhuman trash even though I enjoyed her company so passionately. I had a habit of breaking it off with her whenever we reached the point of our relationship to make a commitment. To be honest, I believe it's because I knew, that she was a great woman; and because she was also Swedish/Chinese; she was my ultimate worse nightmare! So I ended up completely dehumanising her after each breakup and even gave a derogatory name which is completely racist.
In the end, my feelings have changed somewhat, and for my still sharp ends I'm disciplining myself to change; as I have a good wife, and not only that; I have a good father-in-law who is Swedish, including other Swedish-Australians who were rather inspiring in their morality, and in our travels overseas I have met many Chinese who are simply such great people especially in Singapore. But yes, my main temporary solution for now is to turn a blind eye to race and say we are all human - because that's facts anyway.
This is just personal reflection ne ways, some Mongols said I've changed 180', they say they can't recognise me anymore. Some view me as a traitor now, not only because I married my wife, but because I stand up for both her and my daughter at every turn. I'm one of the very few Mongols today who actually fight to bring understand between Mongol and Chinese people.
So I'm now being rejected myself, but to be honest, I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of race this and race that when fact remains people are individuals and should be judged on an individual basis.
|
|
|
|
Post by catgirl on May 22, 2009 9:41:32 GMT -5
Weird guy dating Asians and didn't want EA kids? Whats the point in dating them then??? I didn't really get that part. But perhaps he had some personal issues/dilemmas... I don't think my parents cared much, I think? I think they love me for the person I am and not for the "race". I also love them for the same reasons... I think the thing with mixed families, is that you get to see aspects of human beings that other mono racial families don't, or maybe they do under other special circumstances like living in foreign countries and learning it in that way, or not? I tend to date Caucasian guys, but would definitely consider dating guys of different ethnic groups, but it just hasn't been in the cards for me (yet?). I know there is a risk that if we have kids together, they probably will look a lot whiter than myself. But in my lifetime, it doesn't matter at all, because Ive been through some of the ID crisises that mixed people may have, and there is no longer much hate in my heart  Unlike my parents, I had experience in the "field". But I can understand that it might be harder for mono racial people without such experiences to deal with having a biracial child at first. A good idea is maybe to socialize with other mixed families, or/and keep contact with both racial groups of the parents if they are not too judgmental and discriminating people.... |
|
|
|
Post by meep on May 22, 2009 10:06:37 GMT -5
As a parent, I don't think it would matter one bit what race/s my child will be. My child will be my precious regardless. Having said this, it is difficult to remove myself from my own cultural upbringings and multi-cultural environment and see in the eyes of a mono-cultural, mono-racial person. I don't imagine that someone of this contextual background would be so cruel as to determine whether or not they'd love and except their child on the basis of ethnicity. I guess what I am trying to say is that I find what your friend has said difficult to grasp. Perhaps it's not so much a matter of acceptance as it is preference. He said that marriage was a 'business decision'. I suppose you could think of it as like... you have a choice (because it hasn't happened yet); so, what would you choose? A good example is Subuatai. He said he hated Swedes and Chinese. Obviously, he would not have chosen those genes for his daughter (but since she's his daughter, he loves her). Subuatai, have your feelings toward Swedish and Chinese people changed? Or has your solution been to turn a blind eye to race, saying we're all human? But more my point is that the root of this choice is racist and unfounded. I don't understand that. Why make a choice based upon ethnicity? |
|
|
|
Post by halfbreed on May 22, 2009 10:39:04 GMT -5
^ I think maybe racial similarity strengthens the feeling of likeness between parent and child that most people desire. Weird guy dating Asians and didn't want EA kids? Whats the point in dating them then??? I didn't really get that part. But perhaps he had some personal issues/dilemmas... He's young and not looking for anything serious at the moment. His reasoning is more or less that he finds them "easier" and "less inhibited" than white girls. And they like him more. Pretty much everything about them works in his favor except "do you think they're hot?" "yea, sometimes". Basically, he's only using them for satisfaction and as confidence boosters. Thanks for the detailed response, Subuatai. |
|
|
|
Post by LaFace on May 22, 2009 18:42:57 GMT -5
If we reproduce with someone of a different race, though our kids won't be EA, they'll still be mixed. I disagree. They'll still be Eurasian (and still be mixed), but will now have another ethnicity to add to their 'portfolio', so to speak  It's like an Asian person saying, 'if I reproduce with someone of a different race, my kids won't be Asian'. Say that Asian person reproduced with an Anglo person. I'd view their child as Asian/Anglo/mixed. My principle starts to dry out though once the 'percentage' of a specific ethnicity becomes minimal and the person's appreciation/awareness of that ethnicity ceases (eg someone who is 1/64 Asian and 63/64 Anglo, with no appreciation/awareness of their Asian heritage, I would struggle to describe as Asian/Eurasian). edit: of course other factors contribute to how one would like to be identified as, such as how connected they feel to their ethnicity(s) for example. It shouldn't just come down to the factor of proportion that I've written about. |
|
|
|
Post by meep on May 22, 2009 19:17:45 GMT -5
^ I think maybe racial similarity strengthens the feeling of likeness between parent and child that most people desire. I don't know about "racial similarity strengthening the feeling of likeness between parent and child that most people desire." Again, I stress that my particular experiences and upbringing influence my opinion. I do not share racial similarity (in fact I do in that I am a big 50 50... I'm assuming you mean completely in this case) to either my mum or dad yet I am still close to them and either side of the family. I think I can say the same for both of them in terms of their relationship with me. I don't think when my mum was pregnant with me that she or my father thought: We actually prefer a child that is racially similar to each of us, and this child is not our first choice, racially. Although I cannot say this for sure, as I was a fetus at the time, it would surely hurt if this were the case. I certainly do not possess what you suggest as 'desire' to have a child that 'shares racial similarity' to me. I have never even thought about this, as it plays no significance to speak of. I believe that anyone who desires a child thinks not of the child's race but beyond this. I could be wrong, and if I am, I can't say I'd understand. My overarching point is that a parent's relationship with a child is inherently strengthened, on the basis of parent-child relationship. I do not think race plays a part on this. Interesting topic, halfbreed. |
|
|
|
Post by helles on May 22, 2009 20:07:40 GMT -5
^ i think you look a lot like your dad! with my mum, she's always wanted to marry a white man, in fact she wanted to marry a white doctor or lawyer. mostly to improve her life and status i guess. she is/claims to be very westernised and open, and is to an extent, i guess due to being exposed to it, but at the same time, she is so very chinese and gets very upset when we don't live up to her chinese 'ideals' and doesnt understand why we won't be more chinese in our thinking or like her  ... plus she also doesnt want us to go out/marry white guys!! so basically she is full of contradictions. my dad on the other hand, was put off of english women due to his mother and past experiences, he went out with black, filipino and chinese women before marrying my mum. so through him, we'd have been mixed anyway. as for me, whoever i end up with, if we still remain in HK when we have kids, they are going to grow up in a mixed/international environment, so it wont matter what they 'are'. as for the monoracial view, i think it depends where you are. when i was in HS in the UK, there was about 5 non-white people in the whole school (full on run down chav-school). none of the white boys were interested in me at all, which i was OK with since i had no interest in the chavviness, and they've since moved on to breed more of the same. |
|
|
|
Post by Groink on May 22, 2009 20:11:53 GMT -5
she is/claims to be very westernised and open, and is to an extent, i guess due to being exposed to it, but at the same time, she is so very chinese and gets very upset when we don't live up to her chinese 'ideals' and doesnt understand why we won't be more chinese in our thinking or like her ... plus she also doesnt want us to go out/marry white guys!! so basically she is full of contradictions. This sounds waaaaay familiar in my life...  |
|
|
|
Post by jenbrook on May 23, 2009 2:24:21 GMT -5
Perhaps it's not so much a matter of acceptance as it is preference. He said that marriage was a 'business decision'. I suppose you could think of it as like... you have a choice (because it hasn't happened yet); so, what would you choose? A good example is Subuatai. He said he hated Swedes and Chinese. Obviously, he would not have chosen those genes for his daughter (but since she's his daughter, he loves her). Subuatai, have your feelings toward Swedish and Chinese people changed? Or has your solution been to turn a blind eye to race, saying we're all human? But more my point is that the root of this choice is racist and unfounded. I don't understand that. Why make a choice based upon ethnicity? Yea i agree, its definatly a race thing.. Your kid is still your kid and will have some resemblence to you no matter who you procreate with. People who can only stomach being able to have a mono-racial child have deeply rooted pejudices about other races being 'different'. |
|
|
|
Post by halfbreed on May 23, 2009 3:07:56 GMT -5
I don't know about "racial similarity strengthening the feeling of likeness between parent and child that most people desire." Again, I stress that my particular experiences and upbringing influence my opinion. I do not share racial similarity (in fact I do in that I am a big 50 50... I'm assuming you mean completely in this case) to either my mum or dad yet I am still close to them and either side of the family. I think I can say the same for both of them in terms of their relationship with me. I don't think when my mum was pregnant with me that she or my father thought: We actually prefer a child that is racially similar to each of us, and this child is not our first choice, racially. Although I cannot say this for sure, as I was a fetus at the time, it would surely hurt if this were the case. I certainly do not possess what you suggest as 'desire' to have a child that 'shares racial similarity' to me. I have never even thought about this, as it plays no significance to speak of. I believe that anyone who desires a child thinks not of the child's race but beyond this. I could be wrong, and if I am, I can't say I'd understand. My overarching point is that a parent's relationship with a child is inherently strengthened, on the basis of parent-child relationship. I do not think race plays a part on this. I think perhaps race may be able to strengthen the bond on the basis of (mutual) understanding. To what extent is a monoracial parent able to understand what is it to be biracial? How close can you get to someone you don't really understand or can't relate to? Of course, there are other things we can understand about each other to strengthen the bond, but if parent and child could truly see eye-to-eye on race, would that not allow for an understanding (and so, a closeness) that parents and children of different races could never have? |
|
|
|
Post by meep on May 23, 2009 5:07:17 GMT -5
I don't know about "racial similarity strengthening the feeling of likeness between parent and child that most people desire." Again, I stress that my particular experiences and upbringing influence my opinion. I do not share racial similarity (in fact I do in that I am a big 50 50... I'm assuming you mean completely in this case) to either my mum or dad yet I am still close to them and either side of the family. I think I can say the same for both of them in terms of their relationship with me. I don't think when my mum was pregnant with me that she or my father thought: We actually prefer a child that is racially similar to each of us, and this child is not our first choice, racially. Although I cannot say this for sure, as I was a fetus at the time, it would surely hurt if this were the case. I certainly do not possess what you suggest as 'desire' to have a child that 'shares racial similarity' to me. I have never even thought about this, as it plays no significance to speak of. I believe that anyone who desires a child thinks not of the child's race but beyond this. I could be wrong, and if I am, I can't say I'd understand. My overarching point is that a parent's relationship with a child is inherently strengthened, on the basis of parent-child relationship. I do not think race plays a part on this. I think perhaps race may be able to strengthen the bond based upon understanding. To what extent is a monoracial parent able to understand what is it to be biracial? How close can you get to someone you don't really understand or can't relate to? Of course, there are other things we can understand about each other to strengthen the bond, but if parent and child could truly see eye-to-eye on race, would that not allow for an understanding (and so, a closeness) that parents and children of different races could never have? Perhaps by race you mean culture? I think a mono racial is able to understand anyone of any culture, even the cultures that make up a biracial if that mono racial is culturally aware and open minded. Race does not play a part in this. |
|
... plus she also doesnt want us to go out/marry white guys!! so basically she is full of contradictions. 
