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Post by halfbreed on May 23, 2009 11:32:48 GMT -5
^ No, there's no more, that's why I said 'that was it'. ;D  |
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Post by betahat on May 23, 2009 14:43:53 GMT -5
^I saw an episode of Southpark where the owner of the Chinese restaurant built a wall around the town and Mongols kept trying to knock it down, but that was it. www.metacafe.com/watch/887588/damn_mongolians/As for the original questions, I try not to fetishize race and the fact is that my children would be more like ME than they would be like a Chinese, Brit, or other Chinese-Brit mixed child. That's the beauty of genetics. Diversity is nice, and EAs tend to be quite physically attractive, but I never really thought about race when I was looking for a woman. We probably will have kids in the next decade, and yes, I'm curious how they will turn out, but if they turned out all white or chinese looking I wouldn't care. As for my parents, I don't think they thought too much of what kind of life we would have as mixed race children - my mom just really wanted kids and happened to fall in love with my dad (she was only 22 when I was born!!!). |
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Post by meep on May 23, 2009 18:35:50 GMT -5
^I saw an episode of Southpark where the owner of the Chinese restaurant built a wall around the town and Mongols kept trying to knock it down, but that was it. www.metacafe.com/watch/887588/damn_mongolians/As for the original questions, I try not to fetishize race and the fact is that my children would be more like ME than they would be like a Chinese, Brit, or other Chinese-Brit mixed child. That's the beauty of genetics. Diversity is nice, and EAs tend to be quite physically attractive, but I never really thought about race when I was looking for a woman. We probably will have kids in the next decade, and yes, I'm curious how they will turn out, but if they turned out all white or chinese looking I wouldn't care. As for my parents, I don't think they thought too much of what kind of life we would have as mixed race children - my mom just really wanted kids and happened to fall in love with my dad (she was only 22 when I was born!!!). 22?! How did she have the means to raise you! That is like me having kids in 2 years and I won't even be out of uni by then. I guess it all worked out well for you though  |
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Post by TeeHee on May 23, 2009 18:47:42 GMT -5
This is sort of on a tangent from the original question, but there's this teacher at my school who's subbed on a number of occasions for our class. She's your classic blonde blue-eyed white Caucasian woman with an [adopted] EA daughter. She was describing to us the first time she met her daughter, who'd been abandoned by her biological parents and bounced between one foster home to another for most of her life. Being that she was older than most foster kids(17 at the time) and given the statistics that people generally tend more towards younger children when adopting, the situation with this girl seemed almost hopeless. Yet somehow, this woman felt an instant bond with her. Even though this girl was rough around the edges, had a potty mouth, and didn't exactly fit the profile of an "ideal child", this woman instinctively felt something with her and made the decision to adopt her. So while they're not biologically related at all, she loves her daughter no different than she would a biological child. I feel sympathy for mixed-race kids whose parents are so overly hung up over their looks. That said, it's refreshing to see stories like this. Additionally, she's said in front of the class, referring to me "I love her look, style and personality. This is exactly how I want my daughter to be." Not surprisingly, I'm somewhat biased ;D
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Post by betahat on May 23, 2009 19:03:01 GMT -5
^22?! How did she have the means to raise you!
My Dad was a lot (8 years) older so by the time I was born in Singapore he had a lecturer position at NUS. It didn't hurt that her mother lived with us and we had a string of relatives, fellow graduate students, etc. all doing baby-sitting. But yeah, it's kind of mind boggling that she had three children by the time she was 27 and still managed to complete her PhD at a younger age than I will. Most of her colleagues (and probably a majority of professional women these days) didn't have kids until they were in their thirties.
Back on topic, that's a nice story TeeHee. I hope it works out well for them - I always wonder about the whole trend of adopting children of different races (Angelina and Madonna being the two most extreme examples). I think it's a beautiful thing if someone can love another person as unconditionally as a parent even when that person doesn't look at all like you or share half your genes.
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Post by TeeHee on May 24, 2009 0:45:53 GMT -5
Back on topic, that's a nice story TeeHee. I hope it works out well for them - I always wonder about the whole trend of adopting children of different races (Angelina and Madonna being the two most extreme examples). I think it's a beautiful thing if someone can love another person as unconditionally as a parent even when that person doesn't look at all like you or share half your genes. Oh I assure you, this teacher is one of the least trendiest people I'll ever meet (sorry Ms. Lisa), so I highly doubt her intentions involved keeping up with the latest trends. If I remember correctly, she used to be a nun too but not anymore, she's married now. Lookswise, she describes her as "half japanese-half white caucasian, but could pass as latina". Incidentally, she's currently in the process of adopting her biological niece. Anyhow, it's been about 3 years since she adopted her daughter, who's now 20 and attending college out of state. I don't know what college, but at the time that the daughter applied and got accepted, the tuition would've cost $45,000/year, so she was hesitant about attending because of the cost despite the fact that it was the college of her dreams. But mom was willing to dip into all her own savings to find a way to fund her tuition, whether it was loans or what have you. Mind you, she's no rich woman. Daughter was able to get multiple scholarships and grants which off-set a lot of the cost, so they had less to worry about financially. Additionally, I know she's willing to take the next flight out of state to be with her daughter at the drop of a hat if need be(she's done so already and would do it again). Her justification for all this is that her daughter endured a history of being bounced around foster homes, abandoned, having never had a stable family backing, and this woman didn't want her to ever feel alone or abandoned again, so she was willing to take whatever measures it took to be there for her daughter. In either case, the daughter is much better off now than she would've otherwise been. |
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Post by betahat on May 24, 2009 4:12:24 GMT -5
^She's your classic blonde blue-eyed white Caucasian woman with an [adopted] EA daughter
^She describes her as "half japanese-half white caucasian, but could pass as latina"
Wait, I'm confused now. Is the first the mother and the second the adopted daughter?
BTW, I'm sure it's not a trend - I think there's been a long history of adoption across racial lines, as the supply of orphans and unwanted kids and the demand for kids by people who can't or won't conceive their own is very unbalanced globally. I just think it's interesting fodder for us amateur sociologists. I'm not passing judgment or anything. You think us EAs have an identity crisis, try kids of completely different races than their adopted parents...
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Post by TeeHee on May 24, 2009 4:32:56 GMT -5
^She's your classic blonde blue-eyed white Caucasian woman with an [adopted] EA daughter ^She describes her as "half japanese-half white caucasian, but could pass as latina" Wait, I'm confused now. Is the first the mother and the second the adopted daughter? BTW, I'm sure it's not a trend - I think there's been a long history of adoption across racial lines, as the supply of orphans and unwanted kids and the demand for kids by people who can't or won't conceive their own is very unbalanced globally. I just think it's interesting fodder for us amateur sociologists. I'm not passing judgment or anything. You think us EAs have an identity crisis, try kids of completely different races than their adopted parents... Yea, my second post was basically a follow-up from the same story involving a white caucasian woman with an adopted EA daughter(of japanese-white background). I didn't think you were passing judgment, but I've been around here long enough to have seen some other folks with the audacity to jump to making rash judgments about transracial adoptive parents without knowing the inside story. The most common assumption, for example, particularly where the adoptive parents were white, was that "they must have ulterior motives". I guess I've gotten into the habit of posting my thoughts in such a way to have all my bases covered |
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Post by catgirl on May 25, 2009 9:19:58 GMT -5
I think those people who say: I want my child to be this and that race are very immature (I know some people dont consider racists to be immature, but it actually is!), and probably have no idea what it feels like to be a parent.
A real parent, mature enough to be rasing kids should love their child regardless of race at least! Its better to have a Black/White child than to have a seriously injured child.... Some people take this for granted.
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Post by Subuatai on May 30, 2009 7:06:15 GMT -5
^ Read my post, on the first page, sometimes there are reasons behind the "I want my child to be this and that race". Though I agree it is immature.
Nonetheless, sometimes with external influences I wondered if it was a mistake to get involved with my wife, whether my daughter is a mistake, to challenge society's norms just by merely existing. But then I remind myself "WTF?! I'm starting to think my daughter is a mistake?!" Then I end up smashing my head against the wall a few times to punish myself for such stupid thinking.
External influences can still be quite strong, you can turn a peaceful man into a war machine simply by locking him up in a room and brainwashing him, despite his willpower after a while he will submit. Torture is like that; everyone has a limit no matter how superhuman they claim to be.
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Post by Paddy on May 30, 2009 19:39:32 GMT -5
Don't know how I managed to miss thread. It's an interesting one from HB that I don't recall being asked in such a way before on EAN. I think it's important to make a distinction between sex and procreation. Some people will happily engage in sex with people of different race, but will draw the line firmly at just that, with procreation/marriage a step beyond acceptable. There are very strong historical precedents for this, and there are fictional and non-fictional accounts that pertain to just these matters. I allude to this in eurasiannation.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=9968&page=1. In treaty port Shanghai before WWII, British stationed there were discouraged from cavorting with the natives. The French, on the other hand, we not prohibited. The men were allowed to satisfy their needs - but that's where the line was drawn. Likewise, in the film Sayonara (with Marlon Brando), a blind eye was turned on US servicemen mucking about in Japan. Though marriage was not actually prohibited, the military took steps to ensure that servicemen did not get too attached to their native muses. Though marriage was seen as distasteful, the bearing of mongrel children was abhorrent. Old notions of race, though seemingly out-dated can hold true for those who are not racially 'sophisticated'. Race illicits primal emotions, and i think this is key. For all the rationalisation you might attempt, people will do what they feel, and feel how they feel. There still exists an unspoken racial hierarchy (of course depending on your particular worldview - which for most of us is Eurocentric) and sadly notions of 'white prestige' persist. Many believe having children to be narcissistic. We want children to be born and develop in our own image. Culture and race aside, this concept alone might explain why someone might not wish their child to have physical traits that are brought about by miscegenation. I had an Italian friend in China who married a Chinese lady - they had a beautiful daughter, but I remember him saying to me before Giovanna was born 'I hope that she does not look too Chinese'. I wondered why he said this...and why he said it to me. Was it because he feels Chinese looking people have less social stock (in the Eurocentric racial hierarchy), because he thinks they are unattractive, or because he fears his daughter will not be recognisable as his own. As for asking me, did he feel I would empathise because I am more European in appearance, or because he temporarily forgot that I too am Eurasian? Personally, I am with the rest of you. I am unconcerned about the race/appearance of my future children. I would not wish to adopt outside of my race (whatever that is?!), but only because I feel the child would grow up with exacerbated identity issues. I think Beta touched on this point. I have met a number of Chinese girls who readily admit (not realising or appreciating the inherent racism of their beliefs) to wanting to be with foreigners just so they can have mixed babies. 'They are beautiful after all.' Read Han Suyin and Louise Jordan Miln (see link). You'll learn something! |
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Post by helles on May 31, 2009 4:35:53 GMT -5
^ thinking about it, I knew a Korean girl when i was studying in China who exclusively dated white guys, she went through most of the guys on my course. but she said she couldn't have anything serious/consider marrying a white guy as she had to marry Korean, even though she wasn't particularly attracted to them. she just couldn't imagine having non-korean kids.
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Post by Subuatai on May 31, 2009 22:14:54 GMT -5
Has anyone (who is 2nd or 3rd generation Eurasian) noticed sizable family drifting however? For example; There's a big social barrier at the moment between my Mongol family members in my generation and my grandmother's family who are all Russian.
It didn't happen in my dad's generation though, my dad, uncle and aunt still got along with their cousins. But in my generation, not me or my cousins even give a crap about our Russian relatives, even though we're quite fond of grandma. But then again, we do live miles away from each other.
Or maybe this is natural in pureblood families as well? After 2 generations, non-immediate family members are kinda "forgotten"?
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Post by jefe on May 31, 2009 23:38:34 GMT -5
I think any good parent is able to empathize with their child to the extent that they would try to understand what their child is going through, the best they can.. they have a stronger bond then race and thats love. Maybe race only becomes an serious issue when a parent is racist or in denial of their offspring's biraciality and wants them to conform to resemble a monoracial child. Or another situation where race becomes an issue, is when a bi-racial child grows up with a single parent and relates only to their culture but feels a big void where that other side of them is missing. Sounds like Obama. That is one reason why I started to read "Dreams from my Father". |
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Post by Groink on Jun 1, 2009 2:03:56 GMT -5
i've barely met any extended family. definitely none of the old world, either europe or asia. only a few here in the states. i think being a military brat (i.e. wandering family) just wasn't conducive to anything but an immediate family type of life. my dad met some family in denmark during the 60's, but he doesn't even know where they are anymore. it's probably safe to say they may be lost to me. My experiences say the same. |
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