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Post by saeka on Dec 21, 2006 6:58:40 GMT -5
^ I think I've heard you before lol Yeah you sound kiwi  |
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Post by etudes on Dec 21, 2006 7:06:06 GMT -5
you've only heard like, 'hi' i think haha.. but k.. fine  you know, for better or worse, i'm working on a fobbish accent too. might prove useful somehow |
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Post by Mr Hairy on Dec 21, 2006 21:34:08 GMT -5
I've gotten the "Where are you from?" quite a bit in the past. I'm full Chinese, but 4th generation Australian, so I'm in no doubt that I'm Australian. For the most, that's what others see me as, but occasionally I meet someone who doesn't. Hasn't happened at all recently, though. But if it does, then I'll agree to disagree, as I don't have the energy to worry about it anymore.
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Post by halfbreed on Feb 5, 2007 6:13:58 GMT -5
My friend was telling me how the other day she and these other girls were dissing Chinese products.
Her: 'I was like "ew, don't buy that, it's made in China!" *LOL*'
She knows I'm half Chinese, yet she was expecting me to find it amusing. How does a one respond to that?
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Post by jenbrook on Feb 7, 2007 10:21:15 GMT -5
I think there are different kinds of identity crisis. And I dont know which one is worse. Feeling caught between two places, whether its your parent's identity and your identity or your friend's indentities.
Heres my dilemma:
Mother: Monglian-Chinese raised in Hong Kong
Father: British, spent childhood in Germany, has been an expat for thirty years.
Was born in: Singapore, but they rejected my application for citizenship so I moved out at 3 months.
Have lived in: Singapore(10yrs), Canada(4yrs), Hong Kong(half a year), England(1.5yrs year), Taiwan (1.5yrs), Cambodia (half a year)
Nationalities: British, Canadian, obtaining Hong Kong right now (or at least right of abode, after which i can get a passport). I also hold a Singapore permanent residency card.
Those are the basic facts. My parents also have dual citizenships. My brother has triple.
Sooooooo where do I belong?? I'm actually in total limbo. I'd say Singapore is the country I know the best, but now all my friends have left and my parents are probably moving within the next couple of years (they own property in 5 different countries and they plan to skip). So in a couple of years I wont technically have any 'base' here.
It pains me to see that people make 'rules' about how you should identify with a country.. if you identify with a country then you identify with it! Doesnt matter if you were born there or not.... I mean look at my brother and I.. It doesnt make an ounce of difference that I was born in Singapore and my brother was born in Taiwan. We have different nationalities to the countries we born in.
Technically I COULD aim to get a Singapore citizenship but why? My parents are leaving, my brother is leaving, i'm going to Canada for university.
I feel pretty lost and torn and totally dazed when it comes to identity. Even in an expat crowd.. Because i'm still more 'asia' then them, even though most of the people I know are expats and i'm not singaporean at all.
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Post by jenbrook on Feb 7, 2007 10:26:03 GMT -5
I think my identity crisis basically boils down to the fact that i'm from a few places, and yet i'm not REALLY from them.
So in conclusion i'm not REALLY from anywhere.
And dont say my nationalities because I know nothing about Canada, Hong Kong and England.. All I have are some cute photographs and some vague memories.
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Post by jenming on Feb 7, 2007 21:01:04 GMT -5
Do you feel that the biggest pain comes from not having the feeling of connection to a particular country as your "home country", or does that really matter to you? I find that with other people i know who are in similar situations to you, that the biggest trouble is just answering people's questions when they ask "where are you from?". People are unsatisfied with complicated answers, because they don't really have an easy way to classify you in their heads. They won't accept "i'm from all over the place", and will try to decide where you're from FOR YOU.
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Post by jericho on Feb 7, 2007 21:03:19 GMT -5
^ That can be true even for those who are born and live in one country too. Simply because of outward appearance and a preference for simplistic answers.
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Jaded Lady
Full Member
Even Cowgirls get the blues
Posts: 472
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Post by Jaded Lady on Feb 8, 2007 12:43:48 GMT -5
No crisis whatsoever.
At one point (and I'll admit that it was recent too) I used to feel the need to justify myself to people the second I get the feeling that they're not satisfied with the answer I gave them. I used to explain my ethnicity, my surname, and give them hypothetical reasons for why my parents would be together. And then of course I would emphatically say "I was born here, I'm Canadian" between every explantory sentence.
My outward behaviour was very inconsistent. There were times when any subsequent "Where are you from?" generated a quick "Fvck you" response from me. But only when I had too much fight, because I don't like cursing and so the most I will curse is on type. And even then it makes me cringe. Or I would lie about it to make everyone happy. I don't remember ever feeling that I had misplaced my identity or that I didn't belong or that I couldn't define myself, I just remember feeling that every identity-related thing people threw at me was their attempt to weaken my sense of self. (Well, maybe not everyone and not everything they asked. Don't take it too literally).
When it comes to identity, I am a bit defensive and quite often offensive/preemptive. I can't remember what made me react this way. Maybe their intonation of voice. I am not proud of my behaviour but I'm changing and becoming more refined about how I deal with identity.
When I found these sites, it took me about 5 minutes to realize that whatever happiness was derived from this discovery was absolutely paradoxical. If I've spent time clinging wretchedly to my identity as "Canadian," then why am I now going around posting things like "I'm half this and half that?" What remote connection do I have with these other than the ethnic connection? And in an ethnically diverse place like Canada, why can't "Canadian" be accepted as my ethnic identity? Afterall, isn't it a precursor to being North American for most people to have some roots on the other side of the world?
At the end of the day the validation that I'm asking for is NOT going to come. Either because it's just the way people are or because it's not time yet. So in my bittersweet resolve as of this post I now consider it beneath me to offer winded explanations of my identity because there is nothing there to deliberate. I am what I am. I will never justify that to anyone.
Not everyone feels the need to identify with a particular nation. And while that was considered a cornerstone in identity for the longest time, I don't think it's applicable for everyone anymore and I don't think that we can hold everyone to those standards anymore. We should be able to choose how we define ourselves without repercussion.
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thea
Full Member
Posts: 334
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Post by thea on Feb 8, 2007 13:22:37 GMT -5
Wow, Jenniferbrook that seems like such a cosmopolitan background-all that moving around and everyone being born in different countries etc. Why would Singapore not let you become a citizen? Was it because your parents weren't citizens of Singapore?
I agree with jadedlady about-"at the end of the day, the validation I am asking for is NOT going to come."
My husband who is Irish born and has dual citizenship (EU and USA) has told me "Youn don't need to justify yourself to anyone."
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Post by jenming on Feb 8, 2007 21:56:32 GMT -5
Well said Jaded lady. My experience is different than yours in some ways, similar in others, but i'm impressed by the amount of self-awareness you've got, and your ability to think rationally about your reactions to other people's inquisitiveness.
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Post by jenbrook on Feb 9, 2007 0:10:10 GMT -5
Do you feel that the biggest pain comes from not having the feeling of connection to a particular country as your "home country", or does that really matter to you? I find that with other people i know who are in similar situations to you, that the biggest trouble is just answering people's questions when they ask "where are you from?". People are unsatisfied with complicated answers, because they don't really have an easy way to classify you in their heads. They won't accept "i'm from all over the place", and will try to decide where you're from FOR YOU. Well, yes, because it gives my life a certain tone of inconsistency and uncertainty. I couldnt decide where I wanted to go to university, I dont know where i want to go after university, I dont know where my parents or my brother will be in five years. My relatives are scattered and rarely visted due to there being to many of them in too many different places. Same with friends, they've all moved off to different universities in a mulititude of different countries (an international school student thing). Its very disconcerting to have your life scattered over different places. As for childhood memories, i cant even remember which memory is from which country. It makes me feel like a bit of a muddle, and i'm certain that the cause of my inability to make decisions. I dont want it to matter and a lot of me is indignent that it doesnt, but in reality it does. Feeling displaced at such a young age is not generally a good thing in my opinion. |
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Post by linsoumis on Feb 13, 2007 6:04:44 GMT -5
Lately, a lot of people have been asking me where I'm from. Even though I'm an Australian citizen, I always reply 'Singapore'. I don't know why. To show that I'm Eurasian, I guess. I don't feel Singaporean. But it doesn't exactly make me feel Australian either having all the Aussies asking where I'm from. I don't do anything that suggests I'm a foreigner. No accent, no foreign stationary - nothing. It feels weird being asked. It feels weird responding with Singapore. I always feel like I've 'betrayed' myself afterwards and that people will begin associating me with Singapore - a place I went to at the beginning of the year for the first time in 10 years. A place I could tell you nothing about. I think that now people will think me Singaporean - something I'm not. But also that if I say 'Australia' that they'll think I'm lying. Eh, maybe I should just say 'my mother's stomach'.  Hi, you're not a foreigner, you're Australian so you shouldn't reply otherwise. I'm somewhat similar to you, of singaporean descent but hardly know anything about the place. Growing up, the "where do you come from" question didn't really bother me; people didn't say it to classify me as a foreigner, rather they were just genuinely curious. I would usually reply: australia, but my parents come from Singapore. I don't see why anyone would think you were lying if you said you're aussie; being Australian is not about what colour skin you have, it's about how connected you feel to the people and the place imo. |
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Jaded Lady
Full Member
Even Cowgirls get the blues
Posts: 472
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Post by Jaded Lady on Feb 14, 2007 0:15:46 GMT -5
^ I have more of an identity crisis deriving from that than being mixed. And yeah, it really does bug me too.
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Post by chinesejewfool on Feb 14, 2007 0:23:55 GMT -5
^ It always bugs me that when some people ask "What's your nationality?" and expect the answer to "What's your ethnic background?". It reminds me of this gag, where someone who's either of obvious Indian, Chinese or Japanese heritage gets asked "Where are you from?" "Los Angeles." "No! I mean your parents." "Oh, them! Cleveland." I wish people would just ask me my ethnicity Many assume I am Mexican...and from there they prejudge me that I'm dumb and that I shouldn't be in their social circle of more "high class" races. Then again, the positive from this is I get to see peoples' true colors before I meet them. When the 1/3rd who don't guess I'm Mexican do ask, I just tell them I'm black, and they seem to back away and giggle a little. |
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