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Post by cjsdad on Aug 15, 2007 12:38:07 GMT -5
Quoted because it is true. Surely there's an element of hindsight involved? You can't KNOW from Day 1...there are always uncertainties in the first few weeks... On the other hand, I'm sure there are plenty of "I just knows" which turn into relationships which don't work out..a friend of mine and her now ex-fiance for one. Maybe I'm just cynical, sort of. You make a good point, but please notice the discussion was NOT "love at first sight". That, IMO, is hogwash. I believe that after the get to know you/dating thing goes on for awhile and you see the REAL person.... The one who loses his/her temper, farts in church, leaves clothes scattered about the bathroom, etc. etc. But yet you still love the GOOD side of the person, and they still love your frailties and shortcomings.... It is something you eventually just KNOW. I can't explain it. Someday, hopefully, you will too.
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Post by StrangeMagic on Aug 22, 2007 19:50:51 GMT -5
i have to say.. you don't know the real person until you live with them. i'm sure many of you who've experienced this can agree yes?
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Post by Freecia on Aug 22, 2007 20:26:42 GMT -5
^ Yes.
And sometimes you find out that YOU'RE the one who aren't for this person. Such as... you want some private, alone time, feeling couped up with another person 24/7...etc.
I've been trying to avoid this topic for a while because I seriously don't think there's a set rules to determine if this person's the right one for you. I guess yeah, as many posters here said, you just feel it.
I'll tell you what though, when a person understands your humor, laughs at it, and make the same kinda humorous joke back, I think that's the kind of person for you. I don't know why this is so important to me, but it is. I need a person who laughs with me as well as at me, and vice versa.
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Post by i move the stars for no one on Aug 22, 2007 20:31:46 GMT -5
i have to say.. you don't know the real person until you live with them. i'm sure many of you who've experienced this can agree yes? gotta gotta gotta. i can't imagine jumping in to that after you've decided to be together permanently,though i guess it's romantic,even if it's horribly impractical.
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Post by xandra on Aug 22, 2007 21:26:34 GMT -5
I believe that after the get to know you/dating thing goes on for awhile and you see the REAL person.... The one who loses his/her temper, farts in church, leaves clothes scattered about the bathroom, etc. etc. But yet you still love the GOOD side of the person, and they still love your frailties and shortcomings.... It is something you eventually just KNOW. I can't explain it. Someday, hopefully, you will too. I have to agree with this. There's something amazing about being with someone who fully knows all of your faults (can't hide them forever) and yet still loves you and doesn't even give you a hard time about your shortcomings. But I couldn't say about the living together part... that kinda scares me.
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Post by jenming on Aug 22, 2007 22:18:52 GMT -5
I'll tell you what though, when a person understands your humor, laughs at it, and make the same kinda humorous joke back, I think that's the kind of person for you. I don't know why this is so important to me, but it is. I need a person who laughs with me as well as at me, and vice versa. Full "Hear, Hear" on this one. It isnt *everything*, but... for me, if she doesn't get at least a good portion my jokes... and I don't think she's funny... it's pretty much a deal-breaker. Even if she doesn't understand my sense of humor 100%, she has to enjoy that I enjoy it. That can easily make up for the missing percentage.
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Post by xandra on Aug 22, 2007 23:39:27 GMT -5
It's hard to even be friends with someone who doesn't get my sense of humour (dry, sarcastic) so I couldn't imagine dating someone who didn't. And on top of getting my humour they better be able to make me laugh, too. Cheesy jokes and puns are out of the question.
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Post by StrangeMagic on Aug 23, 2007 5:31:04 GMT -5
having the same sense of humor or atleast be able to understand one anothers sense of humor is pretty important.. being able to make one another laugh is wicked important to me. Keeps everything alive and good Living together can be great and it can be disasterous. I don't suggest jumping into it. Our relationship kind of went backwards.. but now things are amazing and I couldn't be any happier! We're at our 2nd apartment together now We have a dog, 2 chinchillas and our horses hehe.
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Post by jenming on Aug 23, 2007 5:38:34 GMT -5
Cheesy jokes and puns are out of the question. Well, isn't that just effin' great. Now we can never be friends. We have a dog, 2 chinchillas and our horses hehe. how do you have horses if you live in an apartment? you have a nice place to board them?
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Post by StrangeMagic on Aug 23, 2007 9:17:00 GMT -5
my horses are boarded at a facility.. i ride and show horses at the national level across the country
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Post by xandra on Aug 23, 2007 13:17:07 GMT -5
damn girl, you're practically married! Cheesy jokes and puns are out of the question. Well, isn't that just effin' great. Now we can never be friends. Not to worry, I already know you can make me laugh!
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jpeezy
Junior Member
Proud to be human
Posts: 144
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Post by jpeezy on Aug 27, 2007 13:37:54 GMT -5
Sounds cheesy, but for me I knew because she can command my attention like no one else can and makes me feel like I want to be a better person.
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Post by teek on Aug 27, 2007 22:48:58 GMT -5
You know they're for you if they like puppies.
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Post by dannyd on Aug 29, 2007 20:55:04 GMT -5
I was going to post this as a topic, but saw this thread, so it will do. If you think 'they're for you' what would you do to make it happen? I don't mean it like it sounds. There's a certain someone who I've come to know over a long time. We're very close and she's ready to move on from what was a pretty turbulent break-up. It's funny how I'm being more open here than I would to anyone in person, but not having to look someone in the eye while saying this helps Fact is, there is definitely something there. It's one of those things where we know each other so damn well, get each other, are completely comfortable, share a sense of humour etc etc. It wasn't an immediate attraction either, it's just that over the last 5 years I've come to know a pretty damn amazing person. Anyway I digress. Point is this would not normally be a difficult situation. You have such feelings, you pursue said feelings and the rest takes care of itself. Problem is, I have a good career opportunity which would see me move overseas, and she also has landed a job with a great company here in Australia which she will start in January. It would be ridiculous to pursue such a thing with this in mind. However, my (totally whipped) mind is sarting to ask totally out-of-character questions in regards to 'the one' and I have myself totally convinced, knowing her so well that this is someone I could see in the very very long term. 5 years is a long time to get to know someone and you don't get that opportunity that many times in your life. She knows I'm going overseas even though I've said that I may not take the job and keeps saying things like 'when you leave me ...' So I'm starting to contemplate finding a much lesser (prospect wise) here in Australia... sounds stupid to the couple of people I've mentioned it to. I don't really believe in this 'the one' business. But what I do mean is perhaps when you do find something like this it's worth trying to hold onto? I mean most of the time you start a relationship based on a superficial attraction or a pleasant evening over dinner and one of these could well turn out to be great but I guess it's a bit of a privilege to know someone that well over that period of time and think the world of them. Anyway.. at the end of the day, I probably will take the job overseas and keep in contact as much as possible, date other women and go on a week long bender when I receive her wedding invitation. Then maybe I can go back to being normal. Because at the moment I know what jpeezy means when he says she makes him want to be a better man .
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0
New Member
Posts: 0
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Post by 0 on Aug 29, 2007 21:21:23 GMT -5
^ think only you can really answer this one. I mean you'll feel like a dumbass if you don't take the job and you and she break up a month later but then again money isn't everything and there are only so many souls than any person really connects with.
Ask yourself if you'd still be thinking this if she gained 20 pounds. Shallow I know but it can really put things into focus sometimes when romance is involved.
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