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Post by xandra on Dec 10, 2007 20:23:37 GMT -5
Back to the question for the men : - How significant to you is the number of sexual partners your SO has had prior to your relationship? Feel free to separate based on levels of commitment as you see fit. Why only for the men? What's with all the questions for only men on this board lately? Anyway, I think it's significant as it correlates to someone's values regarding sex and a difference in values would likely lead to conflict. Why else would some people lie about their numbers? A large discrepancy between two people's numbers will usually cause discomfort for the person who has slept with less people. Chances are, if both people are around the same level of attractiveness they would have had similar opportunities to have sex in the past. There's a reason why one person chose not to sleep with as many partners, and I would imagine that they would prefer to have a partner who felt the same way about sex.
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Post by long on Dec 10, 2007 20:29:42 GMT -5
Why only for the men? What's with all the questions for only men on this board lately? Sorry, Xandra, didn't mean to exclude anyone really but the title of this thread is... I do have similar feelings to yours though. You might appreciate this thread.
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Post by xandra on Dec 10, 2007 22:24:56 GMT -5
Gee, why are so many guys responding to that thread?? I already put in my 2 cents over there.
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Post by long on Dec 10, 2007 22:38:34 GMT -5
They like to think they know what women want..
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Post by Aiko on Dec 11, 2007 14:22:07 GMT -5
misogyny
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Post by ChickenSoda on Dec 22, 2007 6:39:54 GMT -5
To answer the OP: I don't think that there's anything that a girl can specifically DO to keep a guy's interest. After awhile in a relationship, all of the little games start to cool down and you just really have a clearer sense of who the person you're with really is. For me, most of my relationships tend to go to s*** at around 3 months, at which point I just feel like I'm not happy in it. I could try to justify my reasons for sticking around or leaving, but when it comes down to it, the emotion came before the idea, and that's all that really matters. There's no good, logical explanation.
As for >>How significant to you is the number of sexual partners your SO has had prior to your relationship? Feel free to separate based on levels of commitment as you see fit.
I don't think it's that important. I mean, it tells you something about her, but as long as you're her only sexual partner at the moment and she's not crawling with the HIV, who cares? I don't know, maybe I'm naive. I've never exactly been blown away by a girl's number.
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Post by dynamicken on Dec 22, 2007 17:09:23 GMT -5
Ever heard of the phrase "to each his own"? Actually, it's "to each his own woman." Men have tastes as varied as you can imagine.
Statistically speaking, the "persona" that will get the largest number of men is the slut. Act like a slut and lots of guys will go for you. Will they necessarily be quality guys? Will these guys want to stay with you for a long term? Probably not.
Some very vague things men look for are fitness, energy, persona, positively, & being nurturing.
Everything else really depends. On top of this, men have their personal preferences.
Mine include sassiness, intelligence, silliness, maturity, the ability to cook, self-proclaimed dorkiness, and equally analytical and artsy thinker.
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tbw
Full Member
Posts: 332
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Post by tbw on Dec 22, 2007 20:02:54 GMT -5
So when people get into relationships do they actually ask "So how many partners have you had? How many did you only have oral with? How many were one-night stands? How many were rapes? How many did you only masturbate with? How many people have seen you naked? How many were black, EA, blonde, short, tall?" I don't see how relative these questions are? It's like asking how often do you fart daily on average? How should I know and care? I keep partners on an excel spreadsheet - who/what/where/how/why/when. Farts per day are keept on another spreadsheet. Just kidding about both spreadsheets! Although people may not ask about stuff in the past, men can act differently depending on the situation. I've asked my friends before if they would have a relationship (serious one) with an ex-adult industry worker. Some just don't care, others say a flat out 'no'. I think I agree with Zoff on when getting into a serious relationship the past of both people may play a significant role in the happiness of the relationship.
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Post by ChickenSoda on Dec 22, 2007 20:19:59 GMT -5
Ultimately, I think that there's just something to be said for being comfortable enough with your SO to have all of that out in the open.
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Post by jewbird on Dec 22, 2007 21:39:46 GMT -5
If a woman feels the need to be less than forthcoming about her past, that just goes to show what kind of woman she is.
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Post by long on Dec 22, 2007 21:49:27 GMT -5
If the matter is irrelevant/insignificant you should have no concern about being forthcoming.
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Post by jewbird on Dec 22, 2007 22:19:23 GMT -5
^If men ask obviously stupid irrelevant questions, it shows you what kind of a man he is or isn't. To you, in other words, men should only inquire about the nightly rate.
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Post by avax on Dec 22, 2007 22:28:38 GMT -5
I wonder how women (on the forum or other women that women on the forum know) would react to a male partner being boastful or too open about their count?
Most men I know are uncomfortable talking about this with their partners (if they're attached). It's not very realistic - this discussion in real life. I do know that those men, whom I do hold in high esteem, would be taken aback if they were questioned. However, I think ballparking is understandable (no pun intended).
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Post by long on Dec 23, 2007 0:51:52 GMT -5
Aren't you willing to admit that a man or woman who's had 100+ sexual partners is about 1000x more likely to create drama for a future partner?
Track record will never be completely irrelevent. Past behavior of any kind will tell you something of value about a person. Someone who has slept with 100 people is going to have a noticably different personality than someone who has one or two, always. Knowing the number is really probably not that important because chances are you'll be able to have a pretty good guess based simply on the person's attitude and behavior.
People can change, but usually they don't.
So I guess I'd say that past # should never be a deal breaker, but to suggest that it tells you nothing about a person is just naive.
And I'll quote Zoff because I agree with him: "If someone truly believes that there is nothing wrong with having had 100 partners, then they should not feel any need to hide it, unless they know it would displease their current partner. If they believe this is the case then they are knowingly deceiving their partner, tricking them into a relationship they would otherwise not pursue."
- When you are completely in love and want to settle down with a person, I think that you should want them to know you entirely and accept you for everything that you are; unconditional love. I think everyone should expect trust and acceptance on this level in their serious relationships, but I know most people don't. Most relationships suck.. what can you do. If you're not completely honest with the love of your life, chances are you're not completely honest with anyone (s***ty way to live), or even completely honest with yourself.
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Post by avax on Dec 23, 2007 1:21:50 GMT -5
Yes, yes. I agree with everything said. I also agree that the strong idealist originates from video conferencing.
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