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Post by thekrez on Jan 14, 2008 19:02:37 GMT -5
Ive been musing on this topic recently.
I truly believe that contrary to the image of the emotionless male that churns through women as he pleases, the contrary is actually true.
Once a man becomes committed to someone I think he finds it far harder than the woman when that relationship ends or if troubles begin occurring.
I think that women recover far quicker and move on faster after a relationship ends than men ever do.
Why this is I can only put to men being generally more decisive than women. Once we make a decision, we commit and stick to it, and to have that decision questioned is a severe blow to our psyche.
Its something Ive noticed time and time again where a man may get dumped, or have his relationship end and he takes months or years to get over her, whereas the woman is dating again within a matter of weeks. I have seen it too many times to not notice it.
Do you agree?
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Post by yongfook on Jan 14, 2008 19:05:21 GMT -5
That women are whores? sure.
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Post by Ave` on Jan 14, 2008 21:57:59 GMT -5
Aye, I agree with Ethel.
Moreover, women tend to imagine their gonna end up with the one their with. So thats.................a lot more heartsbreak compared to men. Ive had heartbreak for as soon as 1 day after I met that person. weirdness
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Post by Roam'n on Jan 14, 2008 23:54:12 GMT -5
ethel: heck no, we just hang out with friends and get in drunken philosophical ramblings of how women can't make up their minds..
;D
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Post by daisypukes on Jan 15, 2008 1:38:57 GMT -5
Who the hell are these guys that take months or years to start dating again? I've never met one like that. To be fair, I usually start dating again after a break-up fairly quickly. A couple weeks tops, sometimes in the same day as a break-up...a few hours later and I might have a new bf. But that doesn't really say anything about what's going on inside. Starting to date again really quickly can be just as big a sign of having problems getting over someone as pining for months. Sometimes you just need a distraction.
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Post by avax on Jan 15, 2008 1:50:52 GMT -5
Damn right they do. Boonch o' fatties, they are.
Cmon Krez, we all know them holidays been packin on ya!
Otherwise, yes and no.
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Post by waywardwolf on Jan 15, 2008 2:23:19 GMT -5
I could see men staying down longer after they've fallen, but I haven't noticed women being any less committed. I think Ethel hit the nail on the head, though I prefer drinking solo to a healthy recovery. It's classic.
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Post by ConceptDesign on Jan 15, 2008 2:38:33 GMT -5
You are right Krez, the females of the species are generally the more callous and heartless. Like spiders that mate and kill their lover. So too it is in the human world. Cept they take your money.
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Post by thekrez on Jan 15, 2008 2:45:22 GMT -5
You are right Krez, the females of the species are generally the more callous and heartless. Like spiders that mate and kill their lover. So too it is in the human world. Cept they take your money. you are a wise man.
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Post by thekrez on Jan 15, 2008 2:46:25 GMT -5
I think women have more a support group like girlfriends. Women will talk and cry to them as well as family members like sisters or mom. It's supposed to be therapeutic. Also our biological clocks are ticking so we have to get over it fast. We can't lose years of fertility. ;D What do you guys do? Do you talk to your buddies and parents for support or do you keep it bottled inside spending lonely nights drinking and crying alone? Cocaine and strippers.
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Post by daisypukes on Jan 15, 2008 6:24:40 GMT -5
Starting to date again really quickly can be just as big a sign of having problems getting over someone as pining for months. Sometimes you just need a distraction. While I see what you mean, I don't see how someone can partake in 'fun' activities when inside they just feel like dying. It's actually quite easy to have a smile on your face and feel like you're dying inside. It's all about having an internal life that isn't necessarily reflected in your actions and/or facial expressions. You can't tell what someone's going through purely by looking at the surface of things.
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Post by daisypukes on Jan 15, 2008 7:15:28 GMT -5
^It's about keeping up appearances and saving face. This is important particularly when you break up with someone that you have mutual friends with. One slip up and it'll get back to them how miserable you are without them. To keep dignity you have to act as if nothing is the matter with you, you feel fine, you're even dating someone new, etc. But it's about more than just appearances, it's also about distraction. Wallowing in self-pity over a break-up doesn't make it any easier, going out and going through the motions of what you like to do when you're spirits are up will actually lift your spirits. It's possible to brainwash oneself, but that can't be done by sitting at home alone and drinking and crying. Not that I haven't done the drinking and crying bit too in the past, but it only makes me feel more pathetic so I've dropped that routine.
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Post by viruslabrat on Jan 15, 2008 7:17:08 GMT -5
I disagree with you Krez. It's not due to a lack of decisiveness or that they feel less. I honestly believe that women put up with a lot of crap in their relationships and after a while just have enough of it and break up with their partners. They move on quickly because they've been thinking of breaking up long before it happens. I was with a guy for two and a half years and I just got sick of his crap and his saying that he cared when everything he did told me otherwise. So I broke up with him and severed all contact. Meanwhile he was still pining over me and even resorted to stalking me over the net and pretending to be someone else so he could communicate with me (because I ignored the letters he kept sending). It just confirmed what I feared - I wasted two and a half years with a complete loser.
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Post by thekrez on Jan 15, 2008 7:24:02 GMT -5
^ Well Im not trying to paint women as heartless creatures, but whether its for the reasons you state or others women get over relationships far easier than men do.
Maybe women have been treated so badly by men or heard of being treated badly they are used to moving on.
The sad thing is that when they do encounter a guy that truly loves them, they are more prone to move on and ready to dtich things at the drop of a hat rather than put any effort in.
what a sad state of affairs.
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Post by viruslabrat on Jan 15, 2008 7:41:37 GMT -5
^I see what you're saying but I think those women already have "issues". Some people are a bottomless pit where no matter how much you love them it will never be enough. The poor guy would be fighting a losing battle. Plus if the woman's feelings don't run as deep as the guy's then she's not as likely to want to stay committed to the relationship. Agreed - it is a sad state of affairs
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