well i live in Australia and i've also done chinese classes, and i found they were about 25% mixes. do u like in a big town? the majority of my close friends are asian, and most asians i meet accept me (they are Australian-born asians)...although i have found some female asians disliked me instantly.
Holy moley. That's pretty much me. Except I did thai Buddhist classes. And I find I fit in with the Australian-born asians the best.
I think there was a time where I really wanted to fit into the asian circle, by straightening my hair. Because my wavy/curly hair stuck out I would find myself straightening it all the time, but it was very thick and long and so i wouldnt have enough time to do it. I remember crying all night wishing it was straight. But now i dont give a crap:) And Now when i see Asian girls with horrible perms I giggle inside:D
Also just a general question to everyone.
Does anyone find that when you hang around other Asian people (especially those born in a western country) that you get the feeling that they are more ambitious to get to know you/be your friend, rather than hanging out with white people?
That is generally what i find. But of course there has been exceptions to that. Sorry to sound petty. But I somewhat feel "cooler" hanging around Asians.
Back in Perth Asians were a pretty cool bunch, I must admit.
Though, I never really fit in there. I never had an Asian gf till I moved to Sydney either, back in Perth I've only been out with Aussies for some reason. My attempts at getting an Asian girl... rather embarrassing, and they just didn't like me =/
^ People fear what they don't understand and in your case it only seems apparent that she just has the general fear that monoracial people tend to possess when confronted with multi-racial 'mutts' like us.
I look pretty eurasian, but I find that Asian people are more eager to get to know me because I am Eurasian. Whereas whitey people are either indifferent or slightly less eager to get to know me, because I look eurasian/slightly asian.
So... I'm referring to being Eurasian rather than looking slightly Asian.
^ For me it was the other way 'round, and I look Asian =/
But then I guess there's the Mongol factor and all the anti-Mongol discriminations Asians have against me. I never really fit in to their circle and as for the whitey one, only in sport, outside of sport, well... you meet some good some bad. Most bad, but hey most people are idiots just how it is Makes the genuine people stand out though.
And if I remember back in Perth, being fit + looking asian = GANGSTA, DRAGON BOYZ, SPIDER BOYZ, MBROS, and all those stereotypes. Hahaha, funny times amongst retards.
Last Edit: Jan 13, 2009 3:41:01 GMT -5 by Subuatai
My mum also gave up on teaching me Cantonese but said it was because I didn't want to learn (at age 5 I imagine I didn't want to do anything except run round in circles and blow bubbles). Only recently I've realised that I've actually missed out on something.
I was also used as an example for "Western foreigner" in a Mandarin class. It just felt like, "Oh, so I don't fit in here either? Man, I've been really screwed over". In hindsight this might have just been because I was the only one who didn't speak any Chinese whatsoever (all the others spoke Cantonese) but I have my suspicions.
I can't say for sure whether I'm accepted as Chinese or not because I've never been in a situation where I've been asked about my race by Chinese person(s). The Chinese people I run into in England speak English to me (obviously) and the ones I meet in Malaysia are family or close friends so already know what the deal is about me.
I think a good way to find out would be to post your photo on some Chinese/Asian people forum like Yellowworld claiming to be pure Chinese and see if they believe you or go apesh*t.
Hmm, I don't know what your family situation is, but maybe you're being a little harsh on your Mum's? Here's what went down in my household. So my older sister was born and my mum would teach her thai, so she knew thai and english. But my Dad didn't know thai, so he was also learning at the same time I guess, but he was at work a lot, and I guess an adults brain is not as absorbent as a child's. So anywho I was born 18 months later. So my mum had a toddler & an infant, living in an english speaking country + my dad didnt know thai-so she would have to repeat things in english. Sooooooo in the end I didn't learn thai, my sister forgot the thai she did learn, and now i get hassled by thai elders saying EXACTLY THE SAME THING EVERYTIME "Learn one thai word everyday! That's 30 words a month! 300 words a year! That means you can almost have a conversation." -SIGH- Not that easy yo.
SOooo what I'm trying to say is.. maybe there is more to it than just because their child didn't want to learn the language. Maybe it wasn't so easy for them to teach you their language, especially when they are in a place & have a partner that speaks another language. -Although I know my life would have been a lot easier knowing Thai, and when my mum agrees with those thai elders I would like to point out that SHE didn't teach me, but I don't because I'm a polite half thai girl ....
Dear EAN readers, Many of you have Chinese heritage, some of you might be defensive when it comes to others who say negative things about your ethnicity. But please be warned: this is a summary of my personal experiences with a group I have been so patient with and have been excluded from every time I make an attempt to belong with them. Someday I may write a book, or auto-bio, about all of my experiences. If you want to say anything, say it, but if you could offer some suggestions as to how one who is culturally judged and measured by their genes to have at least some cultural and social ties, please let me know (any suggestions would be greatly appreciated). Share your similar experiences if you'd like. I'm sure many of you, being EA, would be able to relate to it.
So here's my story.......
What am I? I am a very mixed-up person. (*pun intended)
Although I've never truly belonged with either ethnic groups of my "composition," (Anglo Chinese) I've felt especially alienated from the Chinese. Anglo Australians often ask me (in their stupid ignorance), "hey, like, what country are you from?" and this makes me feel somewhat non-Australian, and non-Chinese at the same time.... despite the fact that I have an Australian accent and obviously speak English, my father is a 2nd generation white Australian (thus I am a third), I am a citizen of this country, I own a passport with "AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN" punched into it, and I was born and have lived here all my life (for nearly 18 years). Yet in spite of their somewhat disturbing comments and rude questions, I feel there is enormous acceptance in Australians compared to the Chinese. Australians are generally more inclusive as a society, from my experience. However, I also feel that there isn't really a strongly-defined or authentic 'Australian' culture, unlike other cultures in the world. You may disagree, but that's what I believe. Whereas you have something as ancient as the Chinese culture, which is unique and rich in it's own history, tradition, heritage, architecture, customs, beliefs, values, arts, lifestyles and cuisine.... and so on. I feel that I am at such a loss because although I was born from their stock, Chinese people don't perceive me as being 'one of them', and all of this is because of the genetic interference of my other white "half" and ultimately, I miss out on belonging to a culture that has so much to offer.
I feel that ultimately, there is no culture or country to 'call my own'. And I'm not counting EAN or the Eurasians or other mixed folks out there, because there simply isn't a tightly-knit community of us, not to mention we lack a firm cultural definition. (Say what you will, mind you). While part of me feels accepted into Australia (albeit marginalized), the continual questioning and other people's physical assessments make me feel alienated. As I mentioned above, the Chinese are even worse when it comes to exclusion. There is NO place for me in their culture or society. In the past, I joined a Chinese language class where "students of Chinese heritage" could enroll, but even the teacher said, "What are you doing here?!" on the first day. Hey, we were all new! She pointed to me, of course, as I was the only mongrel in the house. Lessons were extremely ethnocentric, and the teacher even dissed white folks (NO kidding!), which made me feel even more uncomfortable, and besides, I stuck out like a sore thumb. Upon introducing myself to the other students in the class, they said, "Um, are you sure you're in the right room?", and one that I'll always remember with utter contempt: "Arabic's that way!".
The language class was elementary, so I only learned some basic words and no complex sentence-structures, at least nothing fit for a decent conversation. That's why I can't speak their jibber-jabber, and 99% of it seems indecipherable. I also resent the fact that my unsympathetic mother never passed down her native tongue onto me, saying, "I've forgotten it all!", which is total bullsh*t, for a person who can (fluently) complain to a waitress over the lack of our red vinegar and argue that she's not doing her job.
Still, I didn't give up there. Learning the language could have potentially been self-taught. So I borrowed stacks and stacks of tapes, books and CD roms from the library time and time again, but it was just useless. Not only did I fail to remember everything clearly, I was disheartened by the prospect of being one of the book's 'target readers' - ie. a Western expat or tourist. Plus, with this method I was on my own, once again, and isolated from the group.
Another time, I even tried joining a Chinese-community Church, and I'm an atheist! When the minister met me, he said, "It's great to have you non-Chinese join this Church and introduce us to your nation's faith!". *vomits* I won't even go into the isolation and loneliness I experienced each Sunday over the course of the following 6 weeks.
Merely my outer, physical appearance marginalizes me. Aren't physical appearances unimportant, anyway? Is it just me, or do ethnic groups have a thing for outer 'looks'?
At least the Chinese do.
hun, i dont know what part of sydney your growing up in but its completely the opposite for me. i integrate with both white and asian people dont care if your half.
usually when i tell them they go "wow i never knew that" and change topic
all i can see is pattern if a race feel threaten either by competion or by degradation they start to be racist, like in nazi germany jew taking all of the higher professional jobs doing well in buisness etc.. chinese seeing white people as colonizers taking over their country... white people seeing black slaves inter-marrying with their daughters vice versa....
I think it is all about race preservation the conservation of the species which why people tend to be racist i think it is part of nature. If your other side rejects you go to the other if the other does the same well fuk them! you are an entirely new species of your own now maybe find someone like your own then