Being alienated from the Chinese

[pandaroo]

Now that you say so, I won't delete this. I'm sorry to have offended anyone's cultural background/s but I wrote this thread when I was really angry and I think it's obvious.

Thanks, I think you guys have enlightened me.

[cheeseprata]

I honestly can't see how any of this can be construed as being racist or anti-Chinese whatever.
Lots of cultures are very exclusive in their acceptance of others and Chinese in particular have a reputation for this. Just because someone has the forethought to point this out doesn't mean I'm going to slam them for it.
What Pandaroo's being going through is also something I can relate to.
I've come a long way into realising self identity across several different countries, numerous opinions from people I've met and family as well.
I'll be damned if I didn't stand up and support someone going through the same thing.

I think it's a great thread and it's good to see conversation being stimulated amongst a very common issue.

[bus***do]

c'mon sabutai, the rest of Asians can't clearly identify ur ethnicinity, meaning you can mingle freely w/ them.

[ahliang]

having said in this thread earlier that i somehow found it a lot easier to mingle with asians and be included as part of the group than it is with people of other ethnicities/races...something happened today...something that for some reason, after having read so many rants about how in asian restaurants you either get a fork or both a fork and chopsticks on EAN, i wouldn t have expected this to happen...

so today i went out to dinner with my "host family" and their cousins. they decided to go to a chinese restaurant and the restaurant was packed with white people and hispanics...not a single asian in sight. the owners however, were clearly chinese. everyone in the restaurant was eating with a fork, as forks were the only tools available to eat with at every table.

after serving us our meals, the restaurant owner i assume, retreived a pair of chopsticks from behind the counter, walked to our table and gave it to me.
i hadn t asked him for anything and already had a fork, but the fact that he took the initiative to give me a pair of chopsticks, apparently aware that i was asian (or at least eurasian....that is, asian to some extent) somehow made me feel so happy!!!! like i finally belonged! i know that in a chinese restaurant packed with asians i d most likely get the fork+chopsticks treatment and be singled out as the odd one out but the fact that he could tell my ethnic background, acknowledged me as such and thus as part of his community, that i was the only asian customer (or at least asian enough) to "deserve" a pair of chopsticks... really moved me for some reason.

[Kush]

Haha, that's great ;D

[Julz 33]

This is a very intriguing thread. I too have felt excluded from Chinese groups when I was in university. During club week, I always thought to myself that if just one Chinese club member asked me to join that I would. Alas, several years and degrees later that has yet to happen. it is ironic since I do have a chinese last name. However, on the other hand I was always accepted by the filipino student associations of which I too am also a mix of. This is not to say that filipino people are more friendly than chinese people or vice versa. However, throughout my life, some of my closest friends are of Chinese descent. Also, in the last few years as a teacher, the majority of students that join my student associations for social justice or multi-cultural groups are students of Chinese descent. Thus in some ironic way, I now lead a younger version of the groups that excluded me, but I do try every day to point out that if I am the most "non-asian" person in the student association then there is an issue as well should be more inclusive. I guess it goes with the saying if you can't beat them join them and you never know what will happen, or just start up your own group.

[Ganbare!]

Unless Australian Born Chinese are the most ghettoized group on the face of the planet, you most certainly just don't share enough with this particular group or have limited social skills to befriend people in general. It's easier to put the blame on others, harder to assess your own shortcomings and adress them. Younger, I've been confronted to the same issue but I learned to adapt to each groups, now I have a bit over 1000 friends from real life on facebook and many different nationalities and ethnicities are represented which constantly moving (while making millions ) clearly contributed.

[conorsoccr23]

they act lik u r one of them but they really see you as a foolish westerner who could easily give their money to them

[furbob]

wow I had an interesting experience at my Saturday tuition

The tuition itself is a Saturday Chinese school for asian kids primarily learning Chinese/maths/english, but I only go there for the maths/english.

Anyway, today in my English class our teacher (who is a Caucasian-American) was discussing the book Growing Up Asian in Australia then he was question the class about growing up speaking chinese/english and having asian parents but considering I am the only kid in class that stands out like a sore thumb by being eurasian (and not looking that asian) and who doesn't speak chinese

So I just sat there as a spectator listening to my class's accounts of being an ABC and made me feel like the teacher hence feeling a tad alienated from my class today

[mingzayni88]

Most Chinese ppl are nice to me, and the most are fascinated to know how Chinese/Asians ended up where I'm from, and think it's cool.

But I know they view me as a person whom happens to have some Chinese/Asian heritage (This is how I pretty much view myself anyway to avoid hearbreak of finding out i'm not accepted), most ethnicities do this I think (don't really see you as one of them if your mixed) and this is ok w/ me since I never deluded myself to think that I'll be considered one of them anyways.

I think being aware of how you'll mostly be viewed helps w/ any heartbreak later.

[jefe]

^ * a person whom happens to have some Chinese/Asian heritage *
I am not sure I get what that means.

Is that different from a Chinese person in China, for example? I doubt if most would consider them to be people "who happens to have some Chinese / Asian heritage".

Do you mean that you are distinguished from
"Ethnic Chinese who grew up in western countries and who are quite westernized"
"Non-ethnic Chinese westerners who do not happen to have any Chinese / Asian heritage"
"Local person (wherever local is for you) who are fully of Chinese / Asian heritage"
"Local person (wherever local is for you) who do not have any Chinese / Asian heritage"

[teaandcrackers]

Nov 5, 2010 15:29:30 GMT -5 mingzayni88 said:

Most Chinese ppl are nice to me, and the most are fascinated to know how Chinese/Asians ended up where I'm from, and think it's cool.

But I know they view me as a person whom happens to have some Chinese/Asian heritage (This is how I pretty much view myself anyway to avoid hearbreak of finding out i'm not accepted), most ethnicities do this I think (don't really see you as one of them if your mixed) and this is ok w/ me since I never deluded myself to think that I'll be considered one of them anyways.

I think being aware of how you'll mostly be viewed helps w/ any heartbreak later.

I know how you feel. Luckily it's far more accepting here, you're among your own.