|
Post by admin on May 7, 2009 15:21:29 GMT -5
I wish Kyu-Ree were here to hand out admonishments and put this thread back on track.
|
|
|
Post by palaver on May 7, 2009 17:30:26 GMT -5
For the Admin to waste a wish on intervention, the situation must be delicate.
|
|
|
Post by meep on May 9, 2009 21:28:47 GMT -5
Are you sure you encountered people like my cousin? I wouldn't class her as any typical female player out there - and I've met a lot. She just haven't found the right man yet, told me that herself. Unlike the players you guys are probably used to, she's a complete natural with rarely any ill intentions. That's why she still remains classy. That's why guys end up liking her for years until they finally realised there's just no chance. She has had someone she actually loved before, but they broke up. Now her standards are just impossible to reach, she dates just for fun and to be social. When guys like her - It's not really her fault others misinterpret her and get themselves led on, and she doesn't like to just get rid of them as to her they are 'friends'. That's why she denies being a player, which ironically, her style makes her the deadliest type because you can simply not pin sh*t on her. It's just her looks, charm and personality combined with high standards that makes her like this. The family wants her to settle down from the game but she's too free-spirited. By 'people like your cousin' I mean people who lead others that are romantically linked to them, on. Obviously I don't know anything about your cousin but I do know what you have said about her, that she leads men on. Sorry, I just had to clear that up because I don't want to seem like I am making a personal attack on your cousin. I was just asserting my personal distaste for people who, in your words are 'players'. And it seemed to me that your cousin did fit into this category. However, as you said she does not have ill intentions, and is not calculating, I don't think she does fit in this category. Although she has no ill intentions and what not, I can't help but feel sorry for the men that she crosses paths with.
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on May 10, 2009 3:24:30 GMT -5
Every single cousin on my father's side are 'players', we are spoiled by attention and with all our charm none of us has any problem finding a date - our problem rests in finding the right one to settle down with. My cousin sister, is just the most talented of all.
I feel sorry too for the men she crosses paths with but it can't be completely blamed on her. Hell are we like Muslims who blame rape VICTIMS themselves for getting raped by not covering themselves "properly", or are we able to see that the criminals in the end are the rapists themselves?
I have hurt women deeply in the past, but is it really wrong sometimes? A woman who is so possessive and restrictive how can she expect me to stay with her? Or another woman who lacks the grace and charm of others which is highly sought after yet expects me to give her 100% attention?
I am very lucky to have found my wife who satisfies me in every way, but before her, I can be considered a "player in the past". My cousin just hasn't found that special someone unlike me. Nonetheless, her talents can be used to target some men who simply do deserve some 'conditioning'.
|
|
|
Post by milkman's baby on Jul 24, 2009 15:51:30 GMT -5
Hey, do you think you'd be as repulsed by Asia/EAphiles if they never carried the creepy old man stereotype? Would you be just as offended if the whole yellow fever thing were coming from a really attractive person with an otherwise great personality?
|
|
|
Post by Groink on Jul 24, 2009 18:47:09 GMT -5
Hey, do you think you'd be as repulsed by Asia/EAphiles if they never carried the creepy old man stereotype? Would you be just as offended if the whole yellow fever thing were coming from a really attractive person with an otherwise great personality? Probably not initially. But I bet it would grate on you after a while.
|
|
Kush
Junior Member
X)
Posts: 153
|
Post by Kush on Jul 27, 2009 6:57:45 GMT -5
Hey, do you think you'd be as repulsed by Asia/EAphiles if they never carried the creepy old man stereotype? Would you be just as offended if the whole yellow fever thing were coming from a really attractive person with an otherwise great personality? "Great personality" and "yellow fever" are incompatible in my mind. I think chasing after women purely because they are of a particular race is pathetic and they probably have even deeper issues.
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Aug 3, 2009 1:03:49 GMT -5
^ I agree, I'm not so sure that they necessarily have to have a less than great personality but nonetheless it is really unappealing if a guy wants to go out with you primarily because of your race. I'm not sure I can think of any girls I know who would be okay with someone like that, regardless of how attractive he is. I don't really have many non-white friends though so maybe I don't have the most informed opinion..
|
|
|
Post by Subuatai on Aug 4, 2009 16:37:10 GMT -5
Whatever *philes whether by the term white-worshippers or asiaphiles or EAphiles, they give genuine relationships a bad name. I still remember in the past an Irish bloke who was married to a Thai wife was insulted at every turn and people could not accept the genuinity and seriousness of their relationship despite their children.
Some say stuff like "Your child should have been aborted at the Thai brothel he was concieved in" and/or pin labels on the parents based on the non-genuine materialistic hook-ups in "interracial" relationships which sure; are many, but do not represent all. Due to these people, genuine relationships suffer.
Once I even suggested my wife dye her hair black so we wouldn't get the constant stares that frustrates me to no end. Add that to the dehumanisation of our daughter with the younger folk, I oppose fetishists strongly as much as I oppose people who judge by look or those who have the inhuman capability to judge a baby before she is even born. I'm sorry, but I feel that they are part of the all crap we ourselves have to go through.
Eurasian parents or parents of Eurasians unfortunately get little to zero exposure in the media and unfortunately our plights are ignored while some of us are forced to live in a closed circle of friends unable to walk the streets proud lest to risk another court case assaulting an ignorant individual who ironically thinks he's being polite. It's either race or religion, if it's not one it's the other. In Europe this was still going between Protestant and Catholic marriages years before, now it's race this and race that. Pathetic, and it's not happening in a wide scale enough for people to actually wake up.
|
|
|
Post by dreamer on Aug 4, 2009 20:20:39 GMT -5
I can't believe people said those kinds of things to the Thai/Irish couple. It's terrible to think that people might actually voice something so low. It doesn't even matter if a person is genuinely an EA-phile or Asia-phile or whatever, saying that kind of thing is just inexcusable. I'm really sorry things have been difficult for you and your wife too Subuatai. What do you mean by the dehumanisation of your daughter by the younger folk? (sorry if you've explained it before, I only just joined.)
|
|
|
Post by betahat on Aug 5, 2009 15:54:28 GMT -5
"Eurasian parents or parents of Eurasians unfortunately get little to zero exposure in the media..."
What, you've never heard of Jon from Jon and Kate plus 8? EAs are getting a little overexposed, and not in a good way... It's true EA couples get typecast, but that's just the price you pay for living in a society that still sees relationships as part of the wider power hierarchy, through the prism of race, class, age, etc. so people will always make assumptions, even when there is genuine love between the old rich white guy and the poor thai girl from the village.
|
|
|
Post by milkman's baby on Aug 5, 2009 16:04:17 GMT -5
^ The Gosselins do have negative exposure, but I don't think much of it is race-based. I'm actually quite surprised (and appreciative) that most major media outlets aren't constantly pointing out their Asian heritage and introducing them as "the Eurasian sextuplets."
|
|
Kush
Junior Member
X)
Posts: 153
|
Post by Kush on Aug 6, 2009 14:46:17 GMT -5
They were talking about that show on Radio 1, I didn't know the kids were Eurasian until I read it here. I haven't watched it but surely that can only be a good thing? Showing there isn't anything weird about A/W relationships. Unless they're constantly arguing or beating their kids or something.
|
|
|
Post by betahat on Aug 6, 2009 15:04:34 GMT -5
^Unless they're constantly arguing or beating their kids or something.
They're not really a poster-couple for Eurasians I'm afraid. The kids definitely look Eurasian (they're 1/4 - the father is half Korean) and it's not their fault that their parents put them in a reality tv show and the fame and pressure, etc. has led to many cracks in their relationship. But their at least their problem as nothing to do with culture, traditions, racist in-laws, etc. Sweetfart is right that their Eurasianness never really comes up (after all, the octuplets is the "selling point" for their reality show) but it was definitely one of the first things I noticed.
|
|
|
Post by milkman's baby on Aug 6, 2009 15:32:21 GMT -5
EA bloodhound That's not the media or the Gosselin's problem. jk Naw but in this case I don't think the very fact that there is a Eurasian family being portrayed negatively is harmful for the EA image. It's different when it's a stereotype that they're embodying (*cough* Tila Tequila *cough*). I don't think most of America thinks EA/Asian men cheat on their wives and leave them for much younger women. P.S. Kate's not the octomom. She had the six-pack special after the two for one deal. Sextuplets.
|
|